Sometimes in the daily slog that is life, we forget the things that make us happy in life, or we take it for granted and just keep moving on. I'm definitely guilty of doing that, but it might be wiser to adopt the Japanese philosophy of Ichigo-ichie, or to treat each encounter as if it's a once-in-a-life-time occurrence. Even the most mundane activities, like going to work every day, or going to the store, might be the last time I do that particular activity. More importantly, though, I need to treasure the good times that I have with other people, especially my wife, MJ. If something in life happens, and MJ and I no longer can be together, I will always treasure great memories that we had.
10.) Our first date going to a paint-and-sip class. Neither of us was sure it was a real date, we didn't know how we felt about each other, lots of uncertainties about each other, but what I realize from it was that MJ was a great artist (a great painting of a pie!) and I was not.
9.) Wedding pictures! We picked a great location (Walt Disney Hall in downtown LA), a great day (late August, cool breeze), great photographer (the pictures turned out really well and he instructed us on different poses that we should do), great clothing, great makeup (MJ got a makeup session to look really nice) and it was just a fun 2 hours, I felt like a celebrity or model or something with different poses and facial expressions. Even the fountains started up during our shoot to give us an even better shot!
8.) Day in Portland: similar to our trips to other cities, the whole journey of staying at a hotel, exploring a city together, going to different coffeeshops and restaurants, and being fellow explorers really hit home to me, and Portland was a great location for it with Voodoo doughnuts, food trucks, Powell's bookstore (this is where we discovered we could spend a long time in a bookstore by ourselves and really enjoy it!)
7.) Snowy day in Chicago: something about experiencing cold weather, the snow falling, watching other couples and people skating in an outside rink, bundled together and huddled watching the snow fall, is a very romantic event, as cliche and cheesy as it sounds. We took a picture of ourselves against the Bean statute, one of many we would take reflecting our images through a mirror!
6.) San Antonio Riverwalk: the Riverwalk itself was a little underwhelming and we kinda enjoyed the river tour (the whole area's kind of just commercialized now), but it was a random trip we took at the beginning of the year in 2016 (to start off what would be my best year ever, in my opinion), and finished with a dinner at Rainforest Cafe (or was it Hard Rock Cafe! It was Hard Rock!) where I asked MJ to be my girlfriend, and with tears in her eyes she agreed. It was the first time I had ever asked anyone to be my girlfriend, and definitely the first time someone had said yes.
5.) Zoo Lights: we've made a point to watch Zoo Lights early in our relationship (in L.A.) and later after we were engaged (in Chicago). MJ doesn't really like zoos, but something about walking around at night with a sky full of stars and trees full of florescent lights......makes me want to do it again in another city.
4.) Going to a U2 concert at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena: I include this because MJ's dream was always to go to a U2 concert with her loved one, and in a sense that's always been my dream too, except the U2 concert was more like a baseball world series game. We got there early and avoided paying for parking (as opposed to $40 bucks in some places! What a scam!) and sat/stood in the front row watching the Lumineers open and then U2 do their thing. I even recognized most of the songs!
3.) Every time I come home from a trip and MJ picks me up/ opens the door of the home to greet me. I am not good at this, but MJ is very good at welcoming home and being excited to see me, with a great smile and energy like she really means it. Collectively this is one of the best feelings I get in life, period, that I've never gotten from even my parents (they love me and express their love in different ways).
2.) Laughter: every time we've laughed together seems like a great time, because we can share a good joke and laugh at the same time. There's some people who don't laugh, some people who half-laugh, timidly laugh, or just laugh awkwardly. MJ laughs very earnestedly, so you can tell she actually got the joke. It starts slowly as she tries to keep her composure, but then gathers momentum, has a crescendo, and peaks when she bursts out laughing, not the "ke ke ke" Korean reserved style but the "ha ha ha" kind of laugh (there are MANY different ways of laughing and onomatopoeia in the Korean language associated with laughter!) that I really like.
1.) Our wedding day is probably the best day of my life so far. I did wake up in the morning in the same bed as my best man due to preparing for the wedding, but the day included seeing a lot of loved ones, performing a successful ceremony, playing the violin with MJ, introducing everyone as a new couple, more photo session but this time on the beach and me picking up MJ (that was tough!), and ending the night at the Intercontinental Hotel in downtown Los Angeles, a newly built, one-of-a-kind place that overlook the huge city. I can't see how a day really can top how elated and happy I felt that day, although kind of tired at the end of it. It was a day where I cherished the relationship that I had up until then, and could see our future as we literally drove off into the sunset.
There was a Japanese tv show where a man had to sell everything he owned to pay off his loans, and eventually through new technology he was offered to sell away his memories. He reluctantly agreed to do so, but it was painful (even for the viewer) to watch as each of his precious memories were taken away, as if they never happened, and eventually he was left with nothing, not even his memories. Memories might be the most important thing that we have, and I will treasure these with MJ forever, no matter what happens.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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