Some days in one's life, one spends more money than normal days. Some days one exercises more than one does in several weeks (running a marathon, for example). Some days in one's life are more special than others. Some days in one's life, one remembers for one's lifetime. And some days in one's life deserve more than just one blog entry- 6 months later, I'd like to recap that awesome day in my life. Wedding day is one of the more memorable days of my life, along with 1.) first day coming to America, 2.) certain days on vacation in Europe,
My wedding coincided with being probably at the apex of my life- I just turned 30 (my athletic peak, career peak, knowledge peak), I had just completed the Ultimate Dodgeball Championship and achieved my lifelong goal of making it to ESPN, lived in a brand new apartment in downtown Los Angeles, no kids or pets to worry about so all my free time was my own, had pretty good financial independence, and was worrying a wonderful woman of my dreams......basically living the dream, which is what helped make my wedding so special.......just the timing of the day, the location of the venue, the time of year (late summer breeze), I think I will forever look on that day as the best day of my life.
1.) At no point will I have so many people who I know and care about come to celebrate something that I put together, unless I become a huge movie or sports star or someone very important (unlikely) until my funeral. It's like that scene at the end of "Titanic" where Jack and Rose meet together at the end of the movie and all of their friends and family are in the large ballroom together.......that's the point of a wedding, to live on for eternity and be remembered as the day all family and friends converged and had that scene from Titanic.
2.) I really had to practice getting in short one-liners for guests of the wedding due to the many obligations that we had.
3.) I took a chance at my wedding to play the "Game of Thrones" theme with my violin, which could have fell flat on my face because of a missed note due to nerves, or people didn't find the music appropriate, or something. The good news is, it was my wedding, so even if I messed up people played along with it! In fact I did mess up and put the ring on my own finger instead of let MJ put it on my finger, but recovered quickly and joked around about it! MJ also did a great job playing a duet with me!
4.) I had heard before the wedding about "taking a moment to enjoy each other" because the day goes so fast. While this is really true, MJ and I enjoyed each other's company at the beach right after the ceremony and our celebratory mood was captured by a personal photographer! So I think enjoying each other and the moment wasn't a problem during that 30-minute window. What I did lack was speaking to various people who had come all the way from distant places to see us, and instead we were enjoying time to ourselves! I guess some sacrifices must be made.
5.) I got really sweaty during dancing! It's fine to take a break for a few songs and get some alcohol at other people's weddings, but we were the center of attention and didn't want to disappoint, wanted to keep the party going, but it is definitely tiring to be constantly moving. I don't think I sat down once to take everything in! I felt like when back in high school when I was coordinating fundraising events or something, trying to keep everyone engaged, make everyone feel part of the party. Inevitably some people will feel left out, but I tried to be as inclusive as possible because I know what it feels like to not feel important. and I felt like the coolest guy at the club that day! (Only had to spend 30,000 dollars + to do it!)
6.) There's a feeling out there that weddings are pretty burdensome not only for the people who do the wedding (financially) but also for those who come to the wedding, who have to set up travel, lodging, and on top of that give a gift to the bride and groom, that it's almost an imposition or obligation to be invited and have to go. Well, I don't subscribe to that notion at least for our wedding because a.) we made it very close to the closest airport LAX, made it local to the beach but also for most of my friends who lived in LA, and made it on a Saturday night (as opposed to other less convenient times like Friday night or Sunday morning), and there was plenty of entertainment like open bar, lawn games, live DJ, etc., appetizers and happy hour while watching the sunset (we timed that part too!) so that guests should have been very happy to come to such a grand party! Heck, I'm jealous I didn't get invited to my own wedding! I really feel honored to go to other people's weddings and take part in their joyous day, and looking back they are great opportunities to reconnect with friends or family you once knew and maybe meet some new people, even if you're the one friend who's not connected to any of the other partygoers. Everyone's happy, in a cheerful mood, and looking to have a great time! I think we did a great job providing that!
Often times when I'm stressed about finances and the future I start letting buyer's remorse creep in and wonder if we did the right thing to have a wedding (a lot of people nowadays forgo the whole thing entirely!) but ultimately I think we made the right decision. If only to get one big celebration of me and MJ before our funerals, if only to get that sensation of feeling loved and feeling special, if only to feel like the coolest guy at the club for one night, if only to make that one lasting image of us to all the attendees of the wedding be us dancing and happy and standing in front of each other during the wedding ceremony, that will justify the cost of the wedding in the long run. And hey, if we didn't have the wedding I'd always wonder what we'd do at one. Now I know and it's a great feeling!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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