I've never given too much thought to flowers. As a kid, I plucked my fair share of dandelions and blew all the petals into the air, I pricked my finger on roses, I appreciated the smell of nice flowers, literally "stopped to smell the roses" once in a while, but I never needed them, here is a brief snapshot into my history with flowers.
1.) At prom, I went to Ralph's and got a corsage the day of. Didn't put too much thought into it, got the cheapest one available, did not inquire into what the color of my date's dress was before buying.
2.) On Mother's Day or my mom's birthday, I go to the local convenience store and get a pre-selected batch of roses or some other flowers and given them to my mom. My mom puts them in a vase at home. I feel like I fulfilled my duty as a son.
2a.) I ordered a wreath for a the funeral of my friend's father who had passed away. I just ordered it, didn't go to the funeral, and only saw it through pictures. I don't regret expressing my appreciation and condolences for my father's friend, but I do wonder if the money would have been better spent giving to a donation of the family's choice or something.
3.) I gave a bunch of flowers to a girl I liked once with a note saying something along the lines of "I like you and would like to meet you sometime on a date." Needless to say (I think), I was rejected. It's actually better than when I gave an envelope made into an Amazing Race clue I did in high school to a high school crush (because we were both into Amazing Race and Survivor). I also did not succeed in winning that girl's fancy.
4.) Ironically, I was asked to homecoming by a girl decorating my locker at high school with flowers and asking if I would be her prom date. I accepted the invitation, but I was kind of cold to her and didn't give her the attention she deserved. Once again, flowers did not work.
5.) I got flowers when I graduated from high school, college, and law school. Each time, we took some pictures while I wore my robes but then the flowers immediately became a nuance, too large to carry and even covering my face in some of the pictures. I have no memory of what color those flowers were, they were just a prop to make the graduation pictures look better.
So yea, there's a theme. My whole life, I've been conditioned to not put too much emphasis on flowers: they're a cheap way to express something, in my opinion, and I don't appreciate them as much as I probably should, and neither did the people I gave them too. Which is one of the reasons I am a little surprised at how much flowers at a wedding cost. We've been quoted $2,000+ and $3,000+ by 2 separate florists just for some of the more basic things, like a $150 bouquet and something called a "boutonniere." Many times during the flower selection process I've wondered, "isn't a bouquet just a bunch of flowers thrown together?" I mean I do appreciate going to the Los Angeles Flower Market (right by our new apartment and actually pretty cool to go to for the first time) and checking out different combinations of flowers and colors and then just the vast variety of different roses (how do they make so many pink flowered roses? Genetic manipulation?) I would have bet a lot of money to think the DJ would cost more than the flowers, but the DJ only costs around $1000 tops (who knows how much things will be in the end in this dangerous "that'll be extra game" we're playing, but at least through initial cost. Arranging flowers does not seem to be the hardest job to me, but maybe I'm just the pig in the "casting pearls before swine" saying. (豚に真珠 in Japanese).
Ultimately, our wedding planner (and a lot of my friends who have had weddings) said it best: "Flowers die. And since you're only gonna need them for 5 hours or so, enough time to get enough pictures with them (kind of like the doomed graduation flowers I got), don't stress too much about it, and don't spend too much money on it.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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