I've never given too much thought to flowers. As a kid, I plucked my fair share of dandelions and blew all the petals into the air, I pricked my finger on roses, I appreciated the smell of nice flowers, literally "stopped to smell the roses" once in a while, but I never needed them, here is a brief snapshot into my history with flowers.
1.) At prom, I went to Ralph's and got a corsage the day of. Didn't put too much thought into it, got the cheapest one available, did not inquire into what the color of my date's dress was before buying.
2.) On Mother's Day or my mom's birthday, I go to the local convenience store and get a pre-selected batch of roses or some other flowers and given them to my mom. My mom puts them in a vase at home. I feel like I fulfilled my duty as a son.
2a.) I ordered a wreath for a the funeral of my friend's father who had passed away. I just ordered it, didn't go to the funeral, and only saw it through pictures. I don't regret expressing my appreciation and condolences for my father's friend, but I do wonder if the money would have been better spent giving to a donation of the family's choice or something.
3.) I gave a bunch of flowers to a girl I liked once with a note saying something along the lines of "I like you and would like to meet you sometime on a date." Needless to say (I think), I was rejected. It's actually better than when I gave an envelope made into an Amazing Race clue I did in high school to a high school crush (because we were both into Amazing Race and Survivor). I also did not succeed in winning that girl's fancy.
4.) Ironically, I was asked to homecoming by a girl decorating my locker at high school with flowers and asking if I would be her prom date. I accepted the invitation, but I was kind of cold to her and didn't give her the attention she deserved. Once again, flowers did not work.
5.) I got flowers when I graduated from high school, college, and law school. Each time, we took some pictures while I wore my robes but then the flowers immediately became a nuance, too large to carry and even covering my face in some of the pictures. I have no memory of what color those flowers were, they were just a prop to make the graduation pictures look better.
So yea, there's a theme. My whole life, I've been conditioned to not put too much emphasis on flowers: they're a cheap way to express something, in my opinion, and I don't appreciate them as much as I probably should, and neither did the people I gave them too. Which is one of the reasons I am a little surprised at how much flowers at a wedding cost. We've been quoted $2,000+ and $3,000+ by 2 separate florists just for some of the more basic things, like a $150 bouquet and something called a "boutonniere." Many times during the flower selection process I've wondered, "isn't a bouquet just a bunch of flowers thrown together?" I mean I do appreciate going to the Los Angeles Flower Market (right by our new apartment and actually pretty cool to go to for the first time) and checking out different combinations of flowers and colors and then just the vast variety of different roses (how do they make so many pink flowered roses? Genetic manipulation?) I would have bet a lot of money to think the DJ would cost more than the flowers, but the DJ only costs around $1000 tops (who knows how much things will be in the end in this dangerous "that'll be extra game" we're playing, but at least through initial cost. Arranging flowers does not seem to be the hardest job to me, but maybe I'm just the pig in the "casting pearls before swine" saying. (豚に真珠 in Japanese).
Ultimately, our wedding planner (and a lot of my friends who have had weddings) said it best: "Flowers die. And since you're only gonna need them for 5 hours or so, enough time to get enough pictures with them (kind of like the doomed graduation flowers I got), don't stress too much about it, and don't spend too much money on it.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Thursday, June 29, 2017
Tuesday, June 27, 2017
Summer Vacation (夏休み)
Today I read an article that really blew my mind about summer vacations. Apparently, most countries have a shorter summer vacation than the U.S. and have better educational systems, whereas the long summer vacation (3 months in most places) is failing the children who really need help, who aren't keeping up with their educational potential, and don't do anything in the summer to help that. Kids are not using their brain enough during summer vacation and honing their skills and getting enough repetitions (reps) in to exercise their brain, thus letting it get rusty and corroding their potential to learn more. Summer reading? Sure, I saw the reading list the teachers gave out at the beginning of every summer, but even I as a voracious reader didn't complete all the assignments, and I imagine most kids left those tomes untouched. Suddenly, amidst all the hype and hoopla summer brings of fireworks, barbecue, long days, beaches, ice cream, and everything that comes with, is it all just a.......you guessed it......PYRAMID SCHEME????
Certainly, if summer vacation is a pyramid scheme, I've been sucked in. Every summer as I see my facebook feed light up with people who go on wild trips, honeymoons, exotic safari adventures, etc., I wonder what I'm doing at my cubicle going through the motions of work. There's a whole world out there! I want to see it! Why can't it be like the yesteryears of summer, when I didn't have school and had the whole world at my fingertips? Adventures at my summer camp, visiting foreign countries during college, going on a work-vacation and living in a different city for the summer, so many of my best memories are during the summer! All the best movies come out in the summer!
Well, the busiest travel days are also in the summer, and the travel companies make a KILLING off of summer vacations. You gotta plan your vacation SUPER early nowadays to compete with the families who finally have time off of school, plus the college kids who have the semester off. By the way, who started the idea of summer vacation? Could it be......(like Christmas and Valentine's Day) artificial holidays to generate more revenue for the travel industry? I think I may be onto something here, and the school system definitely makes sense. Wouldn't it make more sense for schools to be off at different times of the year, so that there can be staggered holidays, etc., to combat the cluster of students and their families going places?
The article I read also mentioned that society (at least in America) tends to glorify summer vacation, like we all have in our minds this glorious image of summer, implanted (possibly as part of brainwashing, another sure sign of pyramid scheme) from youth as an awesome time. Even in adult society, there's the idea of a "summer romance" or "summer fling" blossoming, or a "summer hit song" that takes over that's on everyone's radio, summer festivals, etc. All happy things to have us all enjoy summer. Consume, consume, consume. To that I counter with summer flat tires, summer heat stroke, summer humidity, summer bug infestations, summer exhaustion (Natsubate, featured in previous articiles), summer air conditioning bills. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer, but like the glitzy Las Vegas, I'm over summer and not buying into the pyramid scheme. Not my favorite season.
What is my favorite season? Like 500 Days of Summer the Movie, I think I end up preferring summer to....autumn.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Certainly, if summer vacation is a pyramid scheme, I've been sucked in. Every summer as I see my facebook feed light up with people who go on wild trips, honeymoons, exotic safari adventures, etc., I wonder what I'm doing at my cubicle going through the motions of work. There's a whole world out there! I want to see it! Why can't it be like the yesteryears of summer, when I didn't have school and had the whole world at my fingertips? Adventures at my summer camp, visiting foreign countries during college, going on a work-vacation and living in a different city for the summer, so many of my best memories are during the summer! All the best movies come out in the summer!
Well, the busiest travel days are also in the summer, and the travel companies make a KILLING off of summer vacations. You gotta plan your vacation SUPER early nowadays to compete with the families who finally have time off of school, plus the college kids who have the semester off. By the way, who started the idea of summer vacation? Could it be......(like Christmas and Valentine's Day) artificial holidays to generate more revenue for the travel industry? I think I may be onto something here, and the school system definitely makes sense. Wouldn't it make more sense for schools to be off at different times of the year, so that there can be staggered holidays, etc., to combat the cluster of students and their families going places?
The article I read also mentioned that society (at least in America) tends to glorify summer vacation, like we all have in our minds this glorious image of summer, implanted (possibly as part of brainwashing, another sure sign of pyramid scheme) from youth as an awesome time. Even in adult society, there's the idea of a "summer romance" or "summer fling" blossoming, or a "summer hit song" that takes over that's on everyone's radio, summer festivals, etc. All happy things to have us all enjoy summer. Consume, consume, consume. To that I counter with summer flat tires, summer heat stroke, summer humidity, summer bug infestations, summer exhaustion (Natsubate, featured in previous articiles), summer air conditioning bills. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer, but like the glitzy Las Vegas, I'm over summer and not buying into the pyramid scheme. Not my favorite season.
What is my favorite season? Like 500 Days of Summer the Movie, I think I end up preferring summer to....autumn.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Monday, June 26, 2017
修羅 (Scene of Carnage)
There's nothing while studying language quite like learning a cool new word, and trying to use it as soon as possible, even when I'm not exactly sure what it means. It's like a kid learning new words on the playground like "booger" or something and wanting to use it because all the cool kids are using it. "Shura" is one of those words, apparently derived from Buddhist origins, which happens a lot in Japanese language, they were influenced greatly by the Buddhists even though their main religion is Shinto (it's some sort of demi-god or something). Shura means "the scene of a carnage, where you stumble upon a battlefield where many have died, people are still mending their wounds, and you try to piece together what happened.
I found out about shura while watching a Japanese drama where one married man has 10 different woman he dates, really setting a bad example for husbands everywhere (first of all, who has time for 10 different women? Sounds expensive). But shura apparently can refer to the carnage after a lover's quarrel or big fight, both sides each feeling really resentful towards each other after screaming at each other and having a heated emotional battle. It makes sense, battles are more intense when the opposing sides know each other really and have plenty of ammunition to use against each other, and who better to have ammunition on than the person you spend most of your life with? (husband and wife, spouses). If you bump into random guy on the street and get into a fight, there's physical violence for sure, but it's less emotional than just letting off steam and not liking the other person based on one event, he cheated on your gf, didn't pay you money, etc. But spouses can go DEEP into the opponent's life and attack every facet of one's being, including money issues, issues with the in-laws, sleeping patterns, cleaning patterns, character flaws, etc., etc. Furthermore, the spouses know exactly what kind of things will set the other person off, make them angry, and can use that against them at the worst time to add more fuel to the fire. Luckily, most times the spouses have at least a shred of goodwill left towards each other that they'll eventually understand all they have is each other and come to their senses, but until then it surely looks like a scene of carnage.
I think I secretly enjoy scenes of carnage. Not the fact that people die, etc. When I go to an art museum (MJ and I went to the Broad in LA today! I couldn't appreciate most of the art but I appreciated the experience of it!) I like the scenes of carnage the most. All different kinds of people doing different things, reacting to a tragic event, giving hints as to the battle that ensued and how one reacts to it. It's like of like people on the highway rubbernecking to see the scene of an accident as they go by it, I for one personally have to take a peek just for curiosity's sake. We all want to see a battle happening to other people and the carnage afterwards, which maybe why people in all historical eras like to see warriors battling each other (Gladiator days) to mix martial arts fighting to sumo to boxing. It might also be why I love watching dodgeball videos, I actually do like people getting hit by a ball and ball bouncing off with a "thwack" off someone's body. It's a sick fascination I guess, but I and other human beings are drawn to Shura (修羅) like moth to a flame.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
I found out about shura while watching a Japanese drama where one married man has 10 different woman he dates, really setting a bad example for husbands everywhere (first of all, who has time for 10 different women? Sounds expensive). But shura apparently can refer to the carnage after a lover's quarrel or big fight, both sides each feeling really resentful towards each other after screaming at each other and having a heated emotional battle. It makes sense, battles are more intense when the opposing sides know each other really and have plenty of ammunition to use against each other, and who better to have ammunition on than the person you spend most of your life with? (husband and wife, spouses). If you bump into random guy on the street and get into a fight, there's physical violence for sure, but it's less emotional than just letting off steam and not liking the other person based on one event, he cheated on your gf, didn't pay you money, etc. But spouses can go DEEP into the opponent's life and attack every facet of one's being, including money issues, issues with the in-laws, sleeping patterns, cleaning patterns, character flaws, etc., etc. Furthermore, the spouses know exactly what kind of things will set the other person off, make them angry, and can use that against them at the worst time to add more fuel to the fire. Luckily, most times the spouses have at least a shred of goodwill left towards each other that they'll eventually understand all they have is each other and come to their senses, but until then it surely looks like a scene of carnage.
I think I secretly enjoy scenes of carnage. Not the fact that people die, etc. When I go to an art museum (MJ and I went to the Broad in LA today! I couldn't appreciate most of the art but I appreciated the experience of it!) I like the scenes of carnage the most. All different kinds of people doing different things, reacting to a tragic event, giving hints as to the battle that ensued and how one reacts to it. It's like of like people on the highway rubbernecking to see the scene of an accident as they go by it, I for one personally have to take a peek just for curiosity's sake. We all want to see a battle happening to other people and the carnage afterwards, which maybe why people in all historical eras like to see warriors battling each other (Gladiator days) to mix martial arts fighting to sumo to boxing. It might also be why I love watching dodgeball videos, I actually do like people getting hit by a ball and ball bouncing off with a "thwack" off someone's body. It's a sick fascination I guess, but I and other human beings are drawn to Shura (修羅) like moth to a flame.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Friday, June 23, 2017
負け犬の遠吠え (The distant barking of losing dogs)
A really difficult Japanese idiom today, it literally means, "dogs who have lost are still barking," or more in terms Americans can understand, "sour grapes." Japanese society apparently frowns upon that, depicting the losers as dogs and whose cries are just barking.
I've suffered a lot from cases of sour grapes. Especially after dodgeball games. In sports people appreciate the losers of a match to accept their loss, congratulate the winners, and try next time. I don't disagree with that at all, but sometimes it's just hard to accept losses when there was a close call that didn't go your way, the refs made a mistake, or the other team was just plain cheating. I have a lot of sympathy for those who lost a tight game, but as I get older I understand that sports game and games of chance are decided largely by elements of chance, especially two teams that are of almost equal skill. Sometimes, the ball just bounces the wrong way, and no amount of moaning, groaning, or complaining (wow that all rhymed!) will change the outcome. Unfortunately in sports, once the outcome is decided, there is EXTREMELY small chance it will be overturned, no way the game will be replayed or any relief come as a result of moaning about the result (Can't send the teams back out there and replay the game from where the error occurred, sports just doesn't work that way). . By the time the next match comes (possibly a year or 4 years for some World Cup matches!) it'll all be forgotten and a new match will have begun.
Recently though, I've had a case of very sour grapes where Avis rent-a-car bamboozled me into getting an "upgrade" on the rental car I had picked up in Kansas City. I didn't know they were upgrading me, and didn't know they had charged me the prepaid gas money, which is they charge you a specified rate for gas (normally a dollar/gallon more than the local gas rate). When I went to complain them about it, they stood by their charges and did not admit any fault. I knew going in that rental car companies are pretty shady and will try to offer you everything under the sun that you don't need like protection, insurance, extra seats, GPS (who needs GPS nowadays when it's on the phone?) but didn't realize they would charge me extra without giving me the option to decline. And having charged it to my credit card already, I'm in the position of having to complain after the fact and look like I have sour grapes. I think in this situation though, it's right to speak up about bogus charges, the rental car company makes a lot of money off of overcharging people and banking on the fact enough people just don't notice it on their bill and ignore, or simply don't care enough to call in. In some cases, the loser dogs have to bark. In this case, I reported Avis to the Better Business Bureau. Not a big enough case ($102 extra charge) to bring a lawsuit, but certainly enough to catch their customer service department's attention.
The 2 cases are really similar if you think about it. Teams that cheat in sports are banking on the fact that others won't catch them cheating; rental car companies bank on the fact their aggressive/ bad business policies won't be noticed by the customer. There's a tendency in life for those without power or lower on the totem pole of society (ordinary grunts like me) to just blame oneself for anything bad that happens, like the guy on the highway cutting you off, getting a parking ticket even though no signs were posted of any no parking times, guy riding a bike on the sidewalk bumping you off the road. All these small things in life pile up and are difficult to control, but once in a while a beaten man (or dog) has got to rise up and fight for something, if not just for getting some monetary value back but just to get some dignity back, to keep the cheaters/ car companies honest, to express frustration over the issue and indicate that we notice these things and that it's not OK for it to continue again.
And yes, this is how a lot of people feel about the state of American politics now. Sometimes, the losing side is the majority and has a very loud bark and can influence how things are done in the world. So within reason, and when you're pretty certain you're right (don't fight over whether your weapon was concealed or not with the officer!) sometimes you gotten eat those sour grapes.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
I've suffered a lot from cases of sour grapes. Especially after dodgeball games. In sports people appreciate the losers of a match to accept their loss, congratulate the winners, and try next time. I don't disagree with that at all, but sometimes it's just hard to accept losses when there was a close call that didn't go your way, the refs made a mistake, or the other team was just plain cheating. I have a lot of sympathy for those who lost a tight game, but as I get older I understand that sports game and games of chance are decided largely by elements of chance, especially two teams that are of almost equal skill. Sometimes, the ball just bounces the wrong way, and no amount of moaning, groaning, or complaining (wow that all rhymed!) will change the outcome. Unfortunately in sports, once the outcome is decided, there is EXTREMELY small chance it will be overturned, no way the game will be replayed or any relief come as a result of moaning about the result (Can't send the teams back out there and replay the game from where the error occurred, sports just doesn't work that way). . By the time the next match comes (possibly a year or 4 years for some World Cup matches!) it'll all be forgotten and a new match will have begun.
Recently though, I've had a case of very sour grapes where Avis rent-a-car bamboozled me into getting an "upgrade" on the rental car I had picked up in Kansas City. I didn't know they were upgrading me, and didn't know they had charged me the prepaid gas money, which is they charge you a specified rate for gas (normally a dollar/gallon more than the local gas rate). When I went to complain them about it, they stood by their charges and did not admit any fault. I knew going in that rental car companies are pretty shady and will try to offer you everything under the sun that you don't need like protection, insurance, extra seats, GPS (who needs GPS nowadays when it's on the phone?) but didn't realize they would charge me extra without giving me the option to decline. And having charged it to my credit card already, I'm in the position of having to complain after the fact and look like I have sour grapes. I think in this situation though, it's right to speak up about bogus charges, the rental car company makes a lot of money off of overcharging people and banking on the fact enough people just don't notice it on their bill and ignore, or simply don't care enough to call in. In some cases, the loser dogs have to bark. In this case, I reported Avis to the Better Business Bureau. Not a big enough case ($102 extra charge) to bring a lawsuit, but certainly enough to catch their customer service department's attention.
The 2 cases are really similar if you think about it. Teams that cheat in sports are banking on the fact that others won't catch them cheating; rental car companies bank on the fact their aggressive/ bad business policies won't be noticed by the customer. There's a tendency in life for those without power or lower on the totem pole of society (ordinary grunts like me) to just blame oneself for anything bad that happens, like the guy on the highway cutting you off, getting a parking ticket even though no signs were posted of any no parking times, guy riding a bike on the sidewalk bumping you off the road. All these small things in life pile up and are difficult to control, but once in a while a beaten man (or dog) has got to rise up and fight for something, if not just for getting some monetary value back but just to get some dignity back, to keep the cheaters/ car companies honest, to express frustration over the issue and indicate that we notice these things and that it's not OK for it to continue again.
And yes, this is how a lot of people feel about the state of American politics now. Sometimes, the losing side is the majority and has a very loud bark and can influence how things are done in the world. So within reason, and when you're pretty certain you're right (don't fight over whether your weapon was concealed or not with the officer!) sometimes you gotten eat those sour grapes.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Sunday, June 18, 2017
Thoughts While Running (달리면서 생각하다)
The above post is my very first (!) translated into Korean. English, Chinese, Japanese, and now Korean! I feel kind of accomplished, until I remember how long it took me to get competent in Japanese, and how low on the totem pole I am in Korean. (we're talking like beginner level here). It does remind me, though, that a long, long time ago in a galaxy far away, I started learning Japanese and I dreamed about climbing the long, treacherous, rocky mountain that is the tower of Japanese fluency, finally crawling, exhausted, to the top of the mountain, only to find that another mountain was in front of me, this one called Korean. I didn't know at the time, though, that while learning Japanese I would pick up a pick axe, rope, mountain climing gloves, and some other handy tools that would help with Korean.
Btw, the above text is probably NOT how you translate the idea of "things I think about when running," it's more like "While running, I have thoughts" which is close but not exactly the idea that I would want to convey, which is still the problem with Google Translate and other translation devices and why I still have hope that learning other languages is useful in the future (maybe my futile effort to justifying my learning of these languages, but I gotta cling onto something, right?) Not only does learning a new language give cultural context and show one intricate nuances of words and expressions in another language that's not offered by just using an online device, the computers and other artificial devices can't readily translate languages whose grammar is all screwed up and have different ways of expressing things, and some phrases in different languages just have no equivalent in the other language, YOU JUST HAVE TO KNOW THE LANGUAGE ITSELF. So empowering, then, is the ability to get inside that secret society, to be able to know the secret handshake, to have a secret hidden ability (I always wanted to have a super power up to when I was 20 years old, by 30 years old I've been able to develop my own superpower). Sure plenty of people know English and Chinese, or Japanese and Korean, or English and Japanese, but all 4 languages at the same time? (not there yet, obviously, but working on it!) - probably less than thousands.
Thoughts while running: My best thoughts are done while running, the mind is free, the body is free, the wind is free, it's like an open world and reflects the time and place where I'm at, what mood I'm in.
1.) I like my new apartment. It is in a developing location in South Downtown LA.
2.) Summer nights are one of the best things in life to enjoy. It's like it's not even dark; Seems like endless possibilities.
3.) Amazon might take over the world- just bought Whole Foods this week, who's next?
4.) Sumo wrestling is interesting- some complicated rules, but who doesn't like 300-pound dudes stripped down to thongs trying to impose their wills on each other?
5.) I never got into video games after 8th grade, but if I did, seems like a lot of games would be a ton of fun. Which is why I like to read the plot summary of the hot new games........
6.)........and the plot summaries of horror movies, just to judge if I would have been a little scared, very scared, or cover-my-eyes-and-ears scared. The new Alien: resurrection movie would have probably given me nightmares.
7.) I wish something like Pokemon Go would enliven the summer like July 2016: it united neighborhoods, people collectively went outside to enjoy the parks.
8.) I really dislike possums and mice that scurry across my path when running, for fear I might step on one. Mice, ahem, rats in LA are BIG.
9.) The new Wilshire Grand building seems NICE. LA 2024 Olympic bid.
10.) It's not easy to win a Ultimate Dodgeball Championship qualifer. Our team, ABC, went to Lee's Summit, MO last week to qualify and barely squeaked out a win. Other top teams like TC Boosh in Minneapolis and Rochester Tigers in New York also barely squeaked out a win (won 3-2 in best of 5) or lost their qualifier. It's like living the NCAA tournament, dodgeball is played everywhere in the country to determine who the best teams are, and upsets happen.
11.) I'd like to spend a week in Seattle or Vancouver during the summer to experience the 10PM sunsets there.
12.) I like running. I often feel stressed out before one and rejuvenated after one, in a much better mood. When people ask how I deal with anger or depression, I run. I think it probably saved me from my rebellious (and overweight) teenage years and allowed me to get a better handle on myself. Thank you, running.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Btw, the above text is probably NOT how you translate the idea of "things I think about when running," it's more like "While running, I have thoughts" which is close but not exactly the idea that I would want to convey, which is still the problem with Google Translate and other translation devices and why I still have hope that learning other languages is useful in the future (maybe my futile effort to justifying my learning of these languages, but I gotta cling onto something, right?) Not only does learning a new language give cultural context and show one intricate nuances of words and expressions in another language that's not offered by just using an online device, the computers and other artificial devices can't readily translate languages whose grammar is all screwed up and have different ways of expressing things, and some phrases in different languages just have no equivalent in the other language, YOU JUST HAVE TO KNOW THE LANGUAGE ITSELF. So empowering, then, is the ability to get inside that secret society, to be able to know the secret handshake, to have a secret hidden ability (I always wanted to have a super power up to when I was 20 years old, by 30 years old I've been able to develop my own superpower). Sure plenty of people know English and Chinese, or Japanese and Korean, or English and Japanese, but all 4 languages at the same time? (not there yet, obviously, but working on it!) - probably less than thousands.
Thoughts while running: My best thoughts are done while running, the mind is free, the body is free, the wind is free, it's like an open world and reflects the time and place where I'm at, what mood I'm in.
1.) I like my new apartment. It is in a developing location in South Downtown LA.
2.) Summer nights are one of the best things in life to enjoy. It's like it's not even dark; Seems like endless possibilities.
3.) Amazon might take over the world- just bought Whole Foods this week, who's next?
4.) Sumo wrestling is interesting- some complicated rules, but who doesn't like 300-pound dudes stripped down to thongs trying to impose their wills on each other?
5.) I never got into video games after 8th grade, but if I did, seems like a lot of games would be a ton of fun. Which is why I like to read the plot summary of the hot new games........
6.)........and the plot summaries of horror movies, just to judge if I would have been a little scared, very scared, or cover-my-eyes-and-ears scared. The new Alien: resurrection movie would have probably given me nightmares.
7.) I wish something like Pokemon Go would enliven the summer like July 2016: it united neighborhoods, people collectively went outside to enjoy the parks.
8.) I really dislike possums and mice that scurry across my path when running, for fear I might step on one. Mice, ahem, rats in LA are BIG.
9.) The new Wilshire Grand building seems NICE. LA 2024 Olympic bid.
10.) It's not easy to win a Ultimate Dodgeball Championship qualifer. Our team, ABC, went to Lee's Summit, MO last week to qualify and barely squeaked out a win. Other top teams like TC Boosh in Minneapolis and Rochester Tigers in New York also barely squeaked out a win (won 3-2 in best of 5) or lost their qualifier. It's like living the NCAA tournament, dodgeball is played everywhere in the country to determine who the best teams are, and upsets happen.
11.) I'd like to spend a week in Seattle or Vancouver during the summer to experience the 10PM sunsets there.
12.) I like running. I often feel stressed out before one and rejuvenated after one, in a much better mood. When people ask how I deal with anger or depression, I run. I think it probably saved me from my rebellious (and overweight) teenage years and allowed me to get a better handle on myself. Thank you, running.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Friday, June 16, 2017
Facebook (フェースブック)
I'm often reminded why it's not good to live in the past, but the world has changed so much in the last 10 years. 10 years ago, Facebook was barely being introduced to the internet, with what started out as a way to connect with friends and build a "wall" like a myspace. 10 years later, Facebook has evolved and the company has gone public with shares of the company traded on the Nasdaq ( and trending up). Facebook, though, is representative of so much of what's changed about everyday life in the
Before facebook: read the newspaper, get the news. (Wall St. Journal, New York Times, whatever city you live in)
After facebook: read the news through facebook posts shared by friends (Buzzfeed, etc.)
Before facebook: call your friends, have a long conversation
After facebook: post on friends' wall, send them facebook message.
Before facebook: deliver messages through word of mouth, talk to a lot of people
After facebook: click the "like" button and your other friends will eventually see it on their newsfeed through Facebook's complicated algorithms.
Before facebook: talk to people in the elevator, you might learn something, make a new friend.
After facebook: all the people I need to be friends with are on facebook, no need to befriends strangers.
Before facebook: difficult to send out party email invitations, reminders ,etc.
After facebook: Facebook sets the invitations, reminds one constantly that you have event today.
Before facebook: don't realize that it's someone's birthday, just lets it slide and no one is the wiser.
After facebook: see that it's a facebook friend's birthday, debates whether you're close enough to send a "Happy Birthday" post.
Before facebook: past friends who moved away or became distant, stopped talking to fade into memory.
After facebook: quietly defriend.
Before facebook: express honest emotion, call or meet someone in person to tell them congratulations or how excited you are.
After facebook: post emojis of how you're feeling
Before facebook: slow to catch up on friends' gossip
After facebook: news spreads fast.
Facebook, just like the digital age itself, has a lot of benefits and has provided a great boost to communication for our society, but at what cost? People's social interactions are less personal, people have less time for other people and instead spend time on their phone, etc. I don't know how many times I've gone on facebook and scrolled around only to realize a few seconds later that it's mostly junk, pictures of what other people are doing that they post to make themselves look cool or to best other people's facebook posts, that's not really big news unless you're REALLY into what other people do on their vacations or how their baby is doing that day or which ramen places in LA are the best. Facebook is like sugar: a necessary evil, great for all of us since so many people use it and generate information, but the more we consume the more we want and drift into redundancy and wasting of our time. How much is too much facebook? Suggested use: go once or twice a day on facebook just to make sure nothing urgent is going on, respond to facebook messages briefly without getting too engrossed in a conversation (have a real conversation in person or on the phone!), don't post much, don't like everything. (Use your likes with discretion to not cheapen them!) And in the big picture, use facebook, like everything else, in moderation.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Before facebook: read the newspaper, get the news. (Wall St. Journal, New York Times, whatever city you live in)
After facebook: read the news through facebook posts shared by friends (Buzzfeed, etc.)
Before facebook: call your friends, have a long conversation
After facebook: post on friends' wall, send them facebook message.
Before facebook: deliver messages through word of mouth, talk to a lot of people
After facebook: click the "like" button and your other friends will eventually see it on their newsfeed through Facebook's complicated algorithms.
Before facebook: talk to people in the elevator, you might learn something, make a new friend.
After facebook: all the people I need to be friends with are on facebook, no need to befriends strangers.
Before facebook: difficult to send out party email invitations, reminders ,etc.
After facebook: Facebook sets the invitations, reminds one constantly that you have event today.
Before facebook: don't realize that it's someone's birthday, just lets it slide and no one is the wiser.
After facebook: see that it's a facebook friend's birthday, debates whether you're close enough to send a "Happy Birthday" post.
Before facebook: past friends who moved away or became distant, stopped talking to fade into memory.
After facebook: quietly defriend.
Before facebook: express honest emotion, call or meet someone in person to tell them congratulations or how excited you are.
After facebook: post emojis of how you're feeling
Before facebook: slow to catch up on friends' gossip
After facebook: news spreads fast.
Facebook, just like the digital age itself, has a lot of benefits and has provided a great boost to communication for our society, but at what cost? People's social interactions are less personal, people have less time for other people and instead spend time on their phone, etc. I don't know how many times I've gone on facebook and scrolled around only to realize a few seconds later that it's mostly junk, pictures of what other people are doing that they post to make themselves look cool or to best other people's facebook posts, that's not really big news unless you're REALLY into what other people do on their vacations or how their baby is doing that day or which ramen places in LA are the best. Facebook is like sugar: a necessary evil, great for all of us since so many people use it and generate information, but the more we consume the more we want and drift into redundancy and wasting of our time. How much is too much facebook? Suggested use: go once or twice a day on facebook just to make sure nothing urgent is going on, respond to facebook messages briefly without getting too engrossed in a conversation (have a real conversation in person or on the phone!), don't post much, don't like everything. (Use your likes with discretion to not cheapen them!) And in the big picture, use facebook, like everything else, in moderation.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Monday, June 12, 2017
How Typos (誤字) Can Save the World
The Japanese word for mistype of a word someone intended to use, aka typo, is goji (誤字). It happens so often nowadays at least for me, partially due to Apple autocorrect: Apple thinks it's so smart knowing what us inferior humans want to say before we even say it, but sometimes it can lead to disastrous results. That's why I prefer to write these blogs on the good old word processor, because there was a reason I learned how to type fast when I was a kid, and there's no one to edit. I know what mistakes my hands usually make, and I know I'm making the mistake as I type it cuz I hit the wrong key and go back to fix it. On the phone a lot of times I type it, don't see the error, and the email already goes out.
Typos are so common nowadays due to smartphones now that they're part of society, we as a society has moved from frowning upon them to accepting them kind of as a cost of using technology, that we should just gloss over the obviously mistaken word and understand the meaning. Heck, the president of the United States makes these typo mistakes all the time, and it's not just "Covfefe!" (although that's the shining jewel of typos because it was the beginning of a sentence and just drifted out, ending in an awesome ending). I was going to go on another long rant about how typos are setting society backwards (worse than climate change!) and how all that training in grade school about proofreading our work and grammatical rules and using proper English just goes out the waste, but then I thought.........sometimes, we DO need typos to lighten the mood. Covfefe, as bizarre as it was and a continuation of the bizarre behavior of President Trump and his obsession with using Twitter to express his discontent and post policy objectives, was the least damaging of any of the mistakes he has made. It was a very human error, one we have all made before typing on our phones, and it turned out to be kind of funny. It made the 24 hour news cycle, it made the rounds of talk shows and tease-Trump memes, but in the end no one died because of it, no irreparable damage resulted, in fact it was a net positive: America and possibly other parts of the world got a laugh out of it without much expense .That's the type of thing we need sometimes in this heightened state of tension in America and the world, where we can't go a few days without mass violence somewhere in the world and political leaders enduring scandal. It's nice to be able to laugh at ourselves once in awhile. (Sure, Donald Trump didn't seem to laugh at himself and actually ordered Sean Spicer to claim that the President and a close circle people only knew what "covfefe" meant). I remember days of innocence when I made mistakes speaking to friends and they laughing because I said something weird, or I didn't know that a certain word had a sexual connotation like "grabbing the mongoose" or something, or "pink taco" (I just found out about this one recently). I often make mistakes speaking Korean and Japanese just due to not knowing the language well enough that elicit laughter from native speakers, but it's helpful, I learn more about the language and no one gets hurt, people get a laugh. Net positive. Let's hope things like "covfefe" are what allow people to bond together, share a laugh, and be able to not take themselves so seriously and laugh at themselves once in a while. (Unlikely for President Trump that he will admit to mistakes, though, unfortunately).
Also, another complaint by snarky Robert: stop ending one's sentences with "haha" or "lol." It's just not professional, witty, valuable, or in any way enhancing the sentence." Ending a Tweet, text, instagram post, email, or any other media with "haha" is just showing one's insecurity, like "oh I'm making this statement, but just in case you don't like it, I'll say haha to save my butt to play it off like I was joking." Or the whole sentence was meant to be a joke, but not funny enough that it speaks for itself, so you have to announce that the sentence was a joke to be clear. Neither of these are OK in my book, but the worst is when there's no obvious reason "haha" is even being used: the author is answering haha like a period, to end the sentence without feeling too lame (this applies when authors end sentences with "so" too by the way). It's just a continuing dereliction of the English language, and I urge humankind to dispense with this practice haha. (See how annoying that last word was? It's like the awkward Asian kid with glasses at a frat party, it just sticks out like a sore thumb. I know, I was that awkward Asian kid). I think I'm going to go proofread my own work on facebook posts now and blog entries including this one to eradicate all of the hahas and lols at the end of sentence.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Typos are so common nowadays due to smartphones now that they're part of society, we as a society has moved from frowning upon them to accepting them kind of as a cost of using technology, that we should just gloss over the obviously mistaken word and understand the meaning. Heck, the president of the United States makes these typo mistakes all the time, and it's not just "Covfefe!" (although that's the shining jewel of typos because it was the beginning of a sentence and just drifted out, ending in an awesome ending). I was going to go on another long rant about how typos are setting society backwards (worse than climate change!) and how all that training in grade school about proofreading our work and grammatical rules and using proper English just goes out the waste, but then I thought.........sometimes, we DO need typos to lighten the mood. Covfefe, as bizarre as it was and a continuation of the bizarre behavior of President Trump and his obsession with using Twitter to express his discontent and post policy objectives, was the least damaging of any of the mistakes he has made. It was a very human error, one we have all made before typing on our phones, and it turned out to be kind of funny. It made the 24 hour news cycle, it made the rounds of talk shows and tease-Trump memes, but in the end no one died because of it, no irreparable damage resulted, in fact it was a net positive: America and possibly other parts of the world got a laugh out of it without much expense .That's the type of thing we need sometimes in this heightened state of tension in America and the world, where we can't go a few days without mass violence somewhere in the world and political leaders enduring scandal. It's nice to be able to laugh at ourselves once in awhile. (Sure, Donald Trump didn't seem to laugh at himself and actually ordered Sean Spicer to claim that the President and a close circle people only knew what "covfefe" meant). I remember days of innocence when I made mistakes speaking to friends and they laughing because I said something weird, or I didn't know that a certain word had a sexual connotation like "grabbing the mongoose" or something, or "pink taco" (I just found out about this one recently). I often make mistakes speaking Korean and Japanese just due to not knowing the language well enough that elicit laughter from native speakers, but it's helpful, I learn more about the language and no one gets hurt, people get a laugh. Net positive. Let's hope things like "covfefe" are what allow people to bond together, share a laugh, and be able to not take themselves so seriously and laugh at themselves once in a while. (Unlikely for President Trump that he will admit to mistakes, though, unfortunately).
Also, another complaint by snarky Robert: stop ending one's sentences with "haha" or "lol." It's just not professional, witty, valuable, or in any way enhancing the sentence." Ending a Tweet, text, instagram post, email, or any other media with "haha" is just showing one's insecurity, like "oh I'm making this statement, but just in case you don't like it, I'll say haha to save my butt to play it off like I was joking." Or the whole sentence was meant to be a joke, but not funny enough that it speaks for itself, so you have to announce that the sentence was a joke to be clear. Neither of these are OK in my book, but the worst is when there's no obvious reason "haha" is even being used: the author is answering haha like a period, to end the sentence without feeling too lame (this applies when authors end sentences with "so" too by the way). It's just a continuing dereliction of the English language, and I urge humankind to dispense with this practice haha. (See how annoying that last word was? It's like the awkward Asian kid with glasses at a frat party, it just sticks out like a sore thumb. I know, I was that awkward Asian kid). I think I'm going to go proofread my own work on facebook posts now and blog entries including this one to eradicate all of the hahas and lols at the end of sentence.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Thursday, June 8, 2017
Hugs (抱きしめる)
According to recent research, people who give and receive hugs are happier than people who don't get hugs, there are health benefits to hugs (if you're happy, you're usually healthy), people who give/get hugs are friendlier and have more friends, etc., etc. So why don't I engage in hugging more? It's a long story, but I was not raised in a huggy family. In fact, my parents didn't really hug me at all after toddlerhood, or at least that I remember. I guess I wasn't that lovable or huggable of a kid, but it's common in some Chinese families: not hugging one's children. It's just not what my parents were raised with, and in turn they didn't pass it on to me. (Not trying to throw my parents under the bus, they tried their best and had a lot of other attributes, hugging just wasn't one of them).
That's why I don't really give hugs and have been told I give "really awkward hugs" and that I "don't give a real, loving hug." That's probably true especially for hugging girls, but I've always had a thing of being shy around girls and having trouble talking to them, much like skin-on-skin contact ("skinship" is a big thing in Asian cultures apparently indicating you've moved on to a slightly more intimate relationship). There's also the whole boobs thing where I feel awkward about touching so much of a girl's body and get self-conscious about accidentally nicking a breast or something, that sometimes I just psyche myself out and lose the hug before I even get started. Thus awkward hugs .
Hugging is actually pretty key in sports teams and team-building exercises, uniting everyone together, making a teammate understand he is appreciated, developing chemistry just by doing an activity together that both can enjoy, etc. With UDC (Ultimate Dodgeball Championship) season in full swing, the hugging and teambuilding is REALLY important. Hugs are almost everywhere on a dodgeball court: before the game, you can high-five OR hug the opponents before an epic battle, hug after the intense battle (although, a bit grosser due to sweat having accumulated during the game), after they achieved some kind of victory like winning a championship, or when you've hit someone in the face or hurt someone somehow that requires an apologetic hug. I hope to get the best kind of hug, the "you won a championship!" hug sometime in the near future.
MJ and I hug a lot now and she helped me learned something: It's a great way to diffuse a tense situation, settle an argument, express my love, get her to smile, to stop crying, or just try to make her feel better after a long day. Hugs are like the drugs I never needed: able to improve one's health from the outside. The physical act of hugging isn't actually what makes one feel better, it's the internal message it sends about caring and companionship and that we're not alone in this world.
Give more hugs!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Sunday, June 4, 2017
The Value of Re-reading (読み返す)
We've all done it. You find yourself with some free time (for once!) during the weekend and decide to read a book. But which one? There are literally millions of books out there with hundreds of genres on so many different topics, it's hard to choose..... so many glittery paperbacks with cool pictures on the front, or heavy volumes that you promised yourself you would get to as a youth but never quite did....that new New York Times Bestseller that everyone's been raving out.....or maybe some self help is in order and can't be put off? Maybe, just maybe, the correct answer is re-reading a book you once read. Your interpretation of the book and its significance can completely change the second or third time around.....
That's part of what I've found to be true: we draw from books and movies parts that fit into our own narrative, things that we can resonate to ourselves, have personal experiences in, which is why sometimes people's opinions are so divided on certain books.....people either love them or hate them, can't seem to agree.....that's because we're all different people, bringing our own different experiences into reading a book, and there's only so many way a book can manipulate you into thinking it's good. (Although, I also adhere to the adage that a good book is a good book, no matter who's reading it).
To be truthful, I can't take the time to re-read books for fun anymore, I just can't afford large chunks of hours of time, but re-reading a book can be so enjoyable the second time, picking up loose parts that didn't seem essential the first time, kind of like MJ telling me to sweep the floor a second time after the first pass-through, you might get something you missed the first time! Plus you know you've enjoyed the book the first time already, so you know you're in for at least decent return (or else you wouldn't be reading it anymore), as opposed to getting disappointed by a new book.
The best is probably mystery novels (I was a big Agatha Christie fan in my youth) where you pick up odd clues and hints the second time around that memory didn't deem useful enough to remember the first time around. "OH, man, that's why he was acting so strange!" The adult perspective is also so much different from the first one, like "Oh, OK, now I get why the son devoted so much time to his family," or "Oh man I used to hate this character, now I think he's pretty cool. We should get a beer sometime and talk."
Reading Time magazine/ news articles 5 or 10 years after they were published- really fascinating. Which is why I preserved some copies from way back in the day. Obscure news stories suddenly flash back, it's like a time capsule.
Reading this blog! - is so awesome sometimes knowing what my mind was spouting off at certain points in my last 10 years of life.
Reading essays I did in college- nah, I actually never do that, way too boring and now exposed to be a hoax, I wasn't trying that hard anyway.
Reading old emails/ texts sent to old friends- really really heartwarming, and makes me wax poetically/ nostalgically for a time past.
Also applies to movies- the 2nd or 3rd rewatch can be very fulfilling, and some Star Wars fans do those eight or nine times when the new movie comes out (kind of extreme IMO)
Other areas where re-reading can seriously be of use:
1.) menus! - "O, so this dish has meat in it? Never mind, we'll have something else, we're vegetarians"
2.) Amazing Race clues! - MJ and I just finished Season 29, wasn't happy with the winner but did enjoy the last 2 legs of the race, Seoul, S. Korea and Chicago! AMAZING how some teams with so much money on the line can miss a key part of the clue, when that's one of the few things they can control. Follow directions, no matter how much of a hurry you're in.
3.) Contracts- yes, this is my job as a lawyer, and one can make quite a bit of money at this (and really, make a living off of), contract drafting and negotiation
4.) Emails- For invitations before a party, right before you go to a party. Oh, so this was a costume party! let
5.) Emails- for proofreading right before you send it out. I know everyone on social media is intent on sending emojis and gifs and using abbreviations like AF and "totes," but professional emails still need to be edited and re-worded, especially with Apple autocorrect (yes, you!) sometimes turning the correct spelling into something it thinks is right but not appropriate for the situation.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
That's part of what I've found to be true: we draw from books and movies parts that fit into our own narrative, things that we can resonate to ourselves, have personal experiences in, which is why sometimes people's opinions are so divided on certain books.....people either love them or hate them, can't seem to agree.....that's because we're all different people, bringing our own different experiences into reading a book, and there's only so many way a book can manipulate you into thinking it's good. (Although, I also adhere to the adage that a good book is a good book, no matter who's reading it).
To be truthful, I can't take the time to re-read books for fun anymore, I just can't afford large chunks of hours of time, but re-reading a book can be so enjoyable the second time, picking up loose parts that didn't seem essential the first time, kind of like MJ telling me to sweep the floor a second time after the first pass-through, you might get something you missed the first time! Plus you know you've enjoyed the book the first time already, so you know you're in for at least decent return (or else you wouldn't be reading it anymore), as opposed to getting disappointed by a new book.
The best is probably mystery novels (I was a big Agatha Christie fan in my youth) where you pick up odd clues and hints the second time around that memory didn't deem useful enough to remember the first time around. "OH, man, that's why he was acting so strange!" The adult perspective is also so much different from the first one, like "Oh, OK, now I get why the son devoted so much time to his family," or "Oh man I used to hate this character, now I think he's pretty cool. We should get a beer sometime and talk."
Reading Time magazine/ news articles 5 or 10 years after they were published- really fascinating. Which is why I preserved some copies from way back in the day. Obscure news stories suddenly flash back, it's like a time capsule.
Reading this blog! - is so awesome sometimes knowing what my mind was spouting off at certain points in my last 10 years of life.
Reading essays I did in college- nah, I actually never do that, way too boring and now exposed to be a hoax, I wasn't trying that hard anyway.
Reading old emails/ texts sent to old friends- really really heartwarming, and makes me wax poetically/ nostalgically for a time past.
Also applies to movies- the 2nd or 3rd rewatch can be very fulfilling, and some Star Wars fans do those eight or nine times when the new movie comes out (kind of extreme IMO)
Other areas where re-reading can seriously be of use:
1.) menus! - "O, so this dish has meat in it? Never mind, we'll have something else, we're vegetarians"
2.) Amazing Race clues! - MJ and I just finished Season 29, wasn't happy with the winner but did enjoy the last 2 legs of the race, Seoul, S. Korea and Chicago! AMAZING how some teams with so much money on the line can miss a key part of the clue, when that's one of the few things they can control. Follow directions, no matter how much of a hurry you're in.
3.) Contracts- yes, this is my job as a lawyer, and one can make quite a bit of money at this (and really, make a living off of), contract drafting and negotiation
4.) Emails- For invitations before a party, right before you go to a party. Oh, so this was a costume party! let
5.) Emails- for proofreading right before you send it out. I know everyone on social media is intent on sending emojis and gifs and using abbreviations like AF and "totes," but professional emails still need to be edited and re-worded, especially with Apple autocorrect (yes, you!) sometimes turning the correct spelling into something it thinks is right but not appropriate for the situation.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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