Monday, May 8, 2017

みそじ (Turning Thirty), 三十而立

For whatever reason, people all over the world tend to place a disproportionate importance on a person's 30th birthday, so much so that it's become probably one of the Top 5 most hyped birthdays (1st birthday, 18th birthday, 21st birthday, 10th birthday, 40th birthday all come to mind). It means a lot to many people: Some in Japan make 30 the magical age to try to stop your single days, so much so that some women set goals and try their darnedest to get married before 30. For some it's a wake-up call that you better get started doing something while you're still "young." I know a friend whose parents gave him a deadline of 30 to stop "fooling around" in life and actually find a job. Some dread 30 because it's the end of the roaring twenties, the best generation in human life. For some it's like a road marker for marking one's path, allowing one to assess where one is in one's life.

Goals at age 10
1.) Get good grades in school!
2.) Beat that video game!
3.) Make more friends!
4.) Eat more vegetables!
5.) Learn to drive a car!
6.) Read more books!
7.) Be a superhero! (preferably Spiderman)  Save the world!

Goals at age 20 for the next 10 years:
1.) Have a girlfriend. (Check, although belatedly)
2.) Go to law school (Check)
3.) Get a job (Check, and many more after that)
4.) Travel the world (Check)
5.) Get superpowers (I distinctly remember this one because I was hooked on a show called "Heroes" at the time, and safe to say not check).
6.) get on Reality TV, either Survivor, Big Brother, Amazing Race, or the Mole. Not check, but props for 3 of those shows for still being on air).

Realistic goals for 30 for the next 10 years:

1.) Buy and live in a home
2.) Possibly adopt a pet (flexible on this one, might settle for some fish)
3.) establish a long-lasting, life long career
4.) Continue to pursue my passions....including dodgeball, until I can't play anymore.
5.) Have a kid....eventually.
6.) Spend time with my parents.....I probably did this too much in my twenties already, but I think it's still important especially now my parents are getting even older and will retire in the next 10 years, to think of them and assure them.



 In Chinese there's a phrase 三十而立, a Confucian quote meaning one is independent, and should establish something for oneself. Other than the fact my parents will remember it every time they see me for the next year and until infinity, it does mean a great deal to me to be responsible, act my age. Honestly, though, there's a lot to be said for not caring about how old one is. I read an article my Mom sent me randomly (she does that from time to time to check in on me) called "Chicken Soup for the Adult Soul" with the general point being, people do different things at different ages, there's no deadline to buy a house, there's no deadline to get one's first job, there's no deadline to become president (Trump started when he was 70, Obama retired at age 55). There IS a deadline to have kids, I guess (mostly for women, sorry ladies) but it doesn't mean that one should feel anxious, feel left behind, or even feel proud for having done it early and "gotten it out of the way." So really, despite the prejudice that 30 is a magic number where there needs to be a drastic change or get something done, life changes can happen at any time, and I will do what's best for me and not be worried about the number. Because in Korean age, I've already been 30 for a while anyway.


Happy birthday to me!

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

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