Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Can You Please Take our Picture? (すみません、写真(しゃしん)を 撮(と)って いただけませんか)

Have you ever been stopped in a public place to take someone else's picture? Anyone ever look around for someone, spot you amongst the crowd, and then ask you for directions? I bet everyone has, but the frequency of being asked probably varies by person, and depends on how a person looks. There is no scientific method for studying this, but I think I get disproportionately asked by people on the street to take their picture. I'm not sure how I feel about this, whether I should be complimented and take the task seriously as society's taskmaster, or feel offended that I get assigned random tasks, or get annoyed for it taking up a chunk of my time each time I do it, but I do think I have the answer for why I get asked a lot. The answer has to do with being very average.

Traits I possess that gets me picked for picture taking duty:
1.) Average looking- can't be too physically attractive, I think, or else people are asking your number for other reasons. I, for one, get intimated asking a member of the opposite gender that's too physically attractive for fear they think I'm hitting on them, or I'm a weirdo, and am consciously aware that they probably get asked like that all the time by other people. Sure, you'll look for the hottest chick in the room when it's group date time, but when picking out a poor guy to get your picture taken, better go with the safe guy who definitely will say yes.
2.) Not scary looking- no visible tattoos, not physically intimating, I'm not exactly scrawny but definitely don't look like I would beat anybody up, or be a crazy homeless guy who might just take your phone/camera.
3.) alone - probably the most underrated factor for being selected for the lottery of taking someone else's picture, as people don't like to trouble big groups of people, just pick out some poor schmuck who doesn't look like he's doing anything important anyway. At least, that's how I think. Also, a fear of bullies and groups of people encourages me to seek kindred spirits who are also alone and out there by themselves.
4.) wearing average clothing- people don't want to ask too well-dressed people for fear of getting looked down upon.
5.) Chinese/ Asian languages- it also helps that I look Asian, the most prominent feature on earth with the highest population. I've been stopped multiple times in the street by Chinese people asking if I'm Chinese....scratch that, directly speaking Mandarin to me assuming I know Chinese, asking me to help them find something.

I should also mention to future solicitors for photos that I'm actually pretty bad at taking photos, or so says my girlfriend, who is really good at taking photos, so every time I'm asked to take a photo with my girlfriend I graciously hand off the assignment to my girlfriend, who being the awesome girlfriend she is accepts and vicariously takes the picture. Thank you! I think the world is a better place for this, or at least photos of the world are better because of it. It has something to do with catching the lighting at the right angle and focusing the shot on the people so that they are in the center of the picture, instead of the "aim phone at the people, make sure they're in the lens, shoot and get out of there ASAP" approach that I take.

I can't also say that I'm that good with giving directions, which doesn't happen as often anymore anyway due to everyone having a digital map in their hand/pocket at all times. It feels like I get asked directions in cities I don't live in all the time, maybe cuz of the "travelers' compassion" theory I mentioned earlier: travelers see me walking around and assume I know where I'm going. Most of the time I DON'T know where I'm going. In Japan and in Europe, I was asked directions when I had no idea where to go. Even in Los Angeles, the city I've lived for most of my adult life, I'll get asked where something is and not know what that place is, or not sure how I describe it. My mind goes kinda blank like, "you go straight, turn left at........Jefferson St., I think? And then go 2 blocks and then turn right?" I keep thinking while I'm giving directions, "wouldn't it be easier to just use your phone/GPS?" and cross my fingers that I'm giving the right directions AND the recipients follow them correctly. There was definitely a time I gave out wrong directions to someone and realized it later, regretting I did it and hoping they didn't get lost and curse me to a fate of always getting lost.


How to avoid picture-taking duty:
1.) Act crazy
2.) avoid crowds of people, especially at tourist locations with an iconic structure. No one's gonna want to take a picture of a dark alley.
3.) Have kids with you: people have sympathy for parents who are already dealing with so much.
4.) Travel with girlfriend to dump the task on her. Thanks girlfriend!

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

2 comments:

MJ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MJ said...

Thanks boyfriend! lol ❤️