Monday, October 24, 2016

Full Train (満員電車)

The concept of a train filled to capacity is nothing new to Asian societies, especially in Japan, where there is a term specially coined for the packed commuter trains during morning rush (or any other times), it's called "man-in densha" and is just as connected to the culture as sushi and samurais. In fact, Japan has something like 9 of the world's top 10 subway stations, including Shinjuku Station in Tokyo and Shibuya Station (right next to the famous Shibuya Crossing where there's like 19 different corners of the intersection). So yea, I've witnessed my fair of man-in denshas, in fact sometimes subway attendees have to gently push the passengers into packed trains to make room, like cramming sardines into a bento lunch. It's quite the experience.

That's why I was quite surprised to see one of the first occurrences outside of Asia: a man-in densha in Chicago's Red Line today: at Lake station, right in the middle of downtown, at rush hour, it is incredibly packed with lines to get into the train and people packing in, and people forming lines to get on the train, waiting for the next train, even though trains came every 3 minutes or so. I had a suitcase with me, so I couldn't cram in like everyone else and needed extra room, so I just had to give up my pursuit to join the fracas. If there was a weight capacity on trains like there was an elevator, they definitely hit it. That leads me to today's topic, a continuation of the "Top 10 people you meet on a Southwest Flight," to "Top 10 people you meet on a commuter train (basically my complaints about different types of things people do):

1.) The solicitor even though signs everywhere say it's prohibited to solicit. Dude, can't you come up with a better story than that? Going on and on about how he has a job lined up in Aurora at Firestone Tires that he needs to get to by Monday morning so he can start working, but you're on a commuter train asking for transportation money? Isn't it better to ask someone for a ride, see if anyone's going in that direction, share an Uber for free? Even go on the highway and hitch a ride. Regardless, I'm not going to run the risk of directly supporting the drug trade by acceding to that fallacious story.

2.) Guy who can't wait to get on the train before people come off: It's not even that I care about you going first, I would let you, but especially in the case of manin denshas, it's common sense to let people off the train first, thus creating more space, THEN allow people to get on the train filling in those spaces. And while you're waiting, don't block the exit so that it's harder to get out.

3.) Guy who insists on standing by the door. There's about 2 body widths of space at every door. Those areas would preferably be open to aid in the loading and unloading of passengers (as long as we're comparing passengers to cargo like in a manin densha). Don't insist on standing right next to the door so that you have easy access in case you need to get out, and then not move when everyone else is unloading so everyone has to go around you. GO TOWARDS the MIDDLE OF THE TRAIN, especially if you're not getting off for a couple stops. Or do like what some people do, get off at each stop a bit and then get back in after everyone exchanges spots. These "blockades" as I call them are like the "Thomps" in Mario Kart that block the road, blocking at last half the area for traffic and doubling the time it takes to load and unload.

4.) Guy who's music (and yes, sexist but most of these are done by guys, bad representatives of my gender) is so loud I can hear it. Turn it down.

5.) Guy who takes up 2 seats while other people are forced to stand. Move your stuff to accommodate other people, guy. Don't force other people to ask.

6.) Participant of loud conversation: It's ok to talk on the train, but I don't need to hear everything about your personal life.

7.) Guy playing Candy Crush or any other phone game in the train: this is actually not damaging to other people in objective way, but makes me tempted to take a break and play those games, and do something to help society instead of just playing games! Get a life! Lol, I sound like Scrooge. Maybe I didn't have as many complaints about train commuters as I thought.

8.) Guy going up the escalator slowly blocking traffic behind. Right is for stopping, left is for passing.

9.) Guy who refuses to move into the open spot on a crowded train thus allowing other people to breathe. They just hold their spot like a territorial pit bull, can't be bothered with helping others to shift positions.

Fantasize on, and good luck with Maindenshas,

Robert Yan

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