The Ten People you meet on a Southwest Airlines Flight (十人十色)

The title incorporates a Japanese idiom called "juunintoiro," which literally means, ten people, ten colors, and actual meaning is really similar: there are a lot of different types of people in the world. I would agree, and especially on (or on the way to a Southwest Airlines flight). I've traveled a lot this year due to work/ dodgeball/ having a girlfriend (in a positive way!) and I've been on a LOT of Southwest flights (sometimes connecting flights which means 2 flights on the same path!

1.) The flight attendant/ CA/ stewardesses: whatever you want to call them, there are a lot of different personalities on these, and I've never met the same team twice (which goes to show how many Southwest flights there are going on. There's only usually 3 or 4 of these for about 200 passengers, so they have their work cut out for them, and I always wonder how they make it down the narrow one-lane aisle over and over again without bumping into elbows, knees, etc. There's regular stewardesses, extra nice stewardesses, unnecessarily demanding stewardesses, unresponsive stewardesses, funny stewardesses (these guys try to put on a comedy routine for the whole flight), and stewardesses who almost got into a fight with a passenger (no joke, I was right next to a lady who went nose to nose with a passenger for reserving a seat for a passenger, kicked out the passenger afterwards).

2.) The TSA guys. I unfortunately dislike these guys. There always seems to be too many of them, they always aren't that helpful (why not have them help people put stuff on the conveyor belt instead of just yelling at us to take water and everything out of our pockets?) and they seem like they don't want to be there, and aren't obligated to be nice. Oh and always direct me to the longer line even though I don't want to be there, and never apologize. There needs to be some incentive for TSA to be better or more accommodating at their job.

3.) Passengers that need to go to the bathroom. Everyone lets out a collective groan. 200 passengers, 2 bathrooms for a 4 hour flight....it just doesn't work. Everyone needs to be prescreened for lack of bladder issues, or else it's a disaster fighting to see who gets up first to use the bathroom, and of course can't congregate in front to line up for the bathroom, so just a free for all.

This is quickly turning into a complaining session about Southwest sorry. I'll put in a nice one.

4.) The passenger who helps put your stuff in the top.....standup guy, always willing to help. Helps that the quality of passengers on a plane in general (even though Southwest is a discount airline) is pretty high, people who can afford to fly places are usually educated and well-cultivated.

5.) Passenger who takes up 2 seats.......this is frustrating. I have nothing against larger people, except for when it comes to invading my personal space. These seats are tight enough already, can't have another human being spilling over into my seat. It's really a problem that Southwest and other airlines probably struggle with: larger people and forcing them to buy a second seat.

6.) Passenger who naps the whole ride: this is like half the people on any flight on Southwest, mainly because there's not much to do: there's a scrapped-together magazine in the back seat pocket, no movie service except for an app that needs to be downloaded beforehand, and Wifi is for free TV that has 20 channels highlighted by reality TV and the food network. $8 Wifi. Sleep is the best option and I wish that I was that passenger all the time: get on a flight, pass out, wake up when the flight lands. Unfortunately my buttocks has been getting sore lately (don't laugh) and it's not that comfortable believe it or not to sleep on a plane.

7.) Person who pushes up to the front when the plane lands: I get it, people want to get off the plane faster. But there's a natural progression, and if everyone tried to push further up then there'd be a scrum, the best way is to get off the plane by seat, if you got there early enough or checked in early enough or whatever then you deserve to get off first, if not then you have to wait. It's comical to see the pushers get stopped about 2 rows up and then everyone's just waiting anyway for the gate to open.

8.) People who get there 3+ hours early: I honestly don't understand this (I might be minority). Nothing worse than sitting and waiting at an airport to get on a plane where you sit and wait for another few hours to get to one's location. The food is overpriced, the wifi is limited (to 30 minute sessions or something), the bathrooms are used by a lot of different people. I like to time my arrival exactly when everyone's boarding, obviously a dangerous game but getting there WAY too early is just silly: it's not a rock concert, there's no inherent advantage in getting there early.

9.) Babies: veteran tip: stay as far away from a baby as you can if you have a choice (which on Southwest, you do). They will cry. Once in a blue moon a baby will sleep the entire fligth (their parents may have given them a handful of sleeping pills, thank god) but if these babies wake up they will NOT be used to the cabin pressure and ears popping and they will cry, and they will cry long and loud. I hope I'm never that parent with babies on a plane. (I probably will be).

10.) The guy who in his excitement to get internet again checks his phone upon landing and gives away the score of a sports game as soon as he gets internet access: C'mon dude.




But this is all nothing compared to Greyhound......now there's some colorful personalities there that I won't get into this time......

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan