Massage (anma)

Unfortunately when I looked for the Japanese translation for massage on google, it came up with dozens of inappropriate websites, which makes sense given the connotation of massage, but the predominant usage is still the relaxing, stress-relieving technique.

I just recently learned how to give a massage,and it was really empowering: I had always been the massagee, not the massager. Giving a massage takes quite a bit of hand strength, arm strength, and endurance, due to the fact you're manipulating all the contours of the body> I always feel like I'm hurting my girlfriend with how hard I'm trying to knead her shoulders and back, but she says it's ok.


Massages illustrate a very simple point of human interaction which is that physical touch is very important: just being able to touch another human being makes others feel closer to someone. Same thing with hugs, handshakes, pats on the back, holding hands, etc. Which is probably why I've never felt that intimate with anyone other than my girlfriend, which is why I am SUPER awkward with hugs (never go in for one, and dont' give a real hearty hug like others expect), and get labeled as a wet fish, and perceived as somewhat cold. Sorry everyone! I remember the first time I tried to give a massage to a friend and the friend laughed because I was so bad at it due to never having done it (you gotta start somewhere, right?) I was also really hesitant to touch a female friend in case she felt weirded out, sexual harassment, etc., so I was barely mvoing my hands, which is not the way to a good massage, nor a good hug. I've been scarred ever since and never really gave mI've always associated bonding and intimate moments as just time one spends together in the company of someone, laughing at some jokes, doing a sport together, playing a game, going on a road trip, just time spent together, which is how my parents kind of raised me: I don't think I've ever hugged my parents, very little contact besides the occasional pat on the back. It's just not our family way, and I realize now that other families require that to be intimidate, and my girlfriend would prefer physical touching too to show caring. I'll work on that, but for now please, world, understand that when I'm making jokes or laughing with you, that's my way of hugging/ showing companionship, and that great big hugs have always been awkward for me, much less full on massages!

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan