I grew up (like most kids I imagine) liking Disney World, other theme parks. I thought it was a treat to go, so many rides. I'm not sure when the disenchantment came in, but once I saw the money part of it, the brutal reality of a place like Disneyland or Universal Studios, where they're capitalizing on the fandom of kids and addictive nature to force parents to reach into their wallets, where I saw amusement parks as not a "magical place" but a place where money magically gets sucked into a.....you guessed it, pyramid scheme. I don't mean to rag on Universal Studios, and I didn't have a bad time, but....here goes, really bad review time!
The number one thing I dislike is....it's really a trap. It is a place (similar to Vegas, whom I broke up with last time) where its soul purpose of existence is to make money. It's not really to make kids happy, it's not really to give park guests a great experience, it's not really to test the latest innovations in technology. It's a business ploy, pure and simple, whatever they can do to get you to spend the $100+ (maybe a little discounted on non-summer, non-weekends) to come in and then continue to charge you for memorabilia, etc. We went into the Harry Potter "wand selection store" where the purported purpose was to have the "Wandkeeper" pick out a wand for an unsuspecting victim much like in the Harry Potter movies, and the bookstore with the secret door and the sound effects when the wand was revealed and the atmosphere was all pretty nice, but then they picked out my gf from the crowd and gave her a wand in front of the audience, only to ask her to pay for that wand at a BARGAIN $47.00. I haven't seen harder sells at timeshare shakedowns where they offer free Disneyworld passes if you can sit through the whole presentation (but you feel guilted into buying something eventually). Pretty unbelievable.
The new Harry Potter attraction is crawling with employees. One of the few theme parks where I think the customers inside the store were greatly outnumbered by the shop clerks. The whole time I'm thinking, "I'm just looking," but damn that's a big chunk of the ticket I just bought going to these unneeded workers. They must have thought the new Harry Potter thing was going to be a HUGE hit, but (granted, on a Thursday) there was practically no line for Harry Potter attractions and the small roller coaster they had going.
The best attraction is still the Backstage Tour, but it's a little tainted by the fact the tour guide (and everyone else in the park) HAS to mention as many Universal movies in their sentences as possible, just drop them along the way. Classics like "Hotels for Dogs" (never heard of it) are named matter-of-fact as if everyone's seen them.
The Harry Potter main 3D attraction is a death trap for people with motion sickness. It states it pretty clearly on the entrance sign, but I mean you came all the way and paid all that money, as a customer you're gonna want to ride it to try it. And yes, it was vomit-inducingly bumpy and motion sickness-causing, the 3-D effects didn't really help and I had to close my eyes from throwing up. It really ruined the whole rest of my day, really.
The problem is, too, most of the other rides are exactly like that! 3-D rides where they put you in a seat and show a 3-D movie and rock the seat back and forth, with gravity involved. Not the Disney-ride theme rides like Winnie the Pooh, Peter Pan's Adventure, etc. So if you suffer from even mild motion sickness (OK, based on experience in boats and some cars I'd think my motion sickness is above average severe), but if you don't know you had motion sickness, you're trapped for a day in a place in which all the rides cause a little motion sickness!
Parking is $18 per car. Period. No other way into the park if you're driving, it's just what it is. And the amusement park is not the first thing you see, the parking lot leads into a commerical shopping area with restaurants, shops, etc. (overpriced I'm sure though I've never had the financial audacity to go into one) before getting to the main gate. Food is passable, but obviously they're gonna hit you there since you've fallen into the trap already and lunch is required, and no iconic food choices like the Disneyland turkey leg.
Fantasize on (or don't because that's how you fall into the trap!),
Robert Yan
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