Tugging at the Heartstrings: 19 Years of Playing the Violin.

19 years or so ago I started playing the violin at my father's suggestion (insistence). I didn’t like to play violin when I was a kid. I didn’t like going to violin lessons, I didn’t like going to violin recitals, I didn’t like carrying my violin around all the time. I especially didn’t really (and still don’t) understand musical theory and had no desire to learn.  I mostly did it to appease my parents, who were insistent on my musical education. Having just completed my 2^nd concert with the Lawyers Philharmonic yesterday at the Walt Disney Hall in Downtown LA, I thought of things that I might say to my kid self about violin.

1.)    Don’t do anything just because your parents want you to do it. Re-evaluate, consider where they are coming from, consider your own desires, and then come to an informed, reasonable decision.

2.)    Once you’re old enough you can dictate your own practice time and “when you feel like” playing. It’s a great feeling to have a violin around when the mood strikes your fancy!

3.)    One day you will play violin voluntarily, without any want of career aspirations or monetary gain, but simply because you enjoy it.

4.)    You will come to appreciate the sense of musical unity that comes with playing in an orchestra of amateur but advanced-level musicians, one that can produce beautiful music that inspires.

5.)    You will get a sense of gratification from inviting family and friends to a concert and proud of yourself, adding to your self-esteem and your satisfaction that your parents are proud of you.

6.)    Unlike in middle school or high school where it was more of a crutch (sign of a nerd) than a boon, later on in life in professional circles you will be admired (at least from what people say) for being able to play an instrument.

7.)    It is a great way to meet other lawyers/musicians who share their interests.

8.)    You can play the Game of Thrones theme on your violin at will.

9.)    Playing at a great concert hall like Walt Disney Hall (shaped like a piano which accounts for the improved resonance) is an honor and one of my life achievements, and you’ll be glad you were able to do it. Twice.

All great reasons for having kept up with the violin and still playing strong 10 years removed! 

Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan 

Baseball Stadium Trip

Recently I’ve been planning a trip in late August/early September that takes me to 11 different baseball stadiums in 2 week. It’s an ambitious journey, but one that I’ve wanted to do for awhile. The stadiums themselves aren’t necessarily the only motivation; I do have visiting all baseball parks on my bucket list, but also hitting the road is quite big.

A big part of me is a traveler. I’ve wanted to get away, do new things, go on the road. I get antsy when I’m in the same spot for too long, whether it’s for hours in a day, or weeks in a year, or years in a life. (For example, I get antsy about doing one project over and over again in a year, and I get antsy about having lived in L.A. for 5 years now-I might need a change). I think the main motivation for that feeling is a fear that life is passing me by, that if I don’t change it up and do something new I won’t be able to experience that for much longer. Maybe it’s stored memory from a past life (lives) telling me life is short. Whatever the reason, I’ve always wanted to get out there. I get excited about stories like 50 states and 50 jobs guy (see previous post) and am intrigued by “A Walk in the Woods” by Bill Bryson, about traveling the Applacchian Trail. My favorite part of “Forrest Gump” is when he runs across the country. I was a big fan of Amazing Race for many years. I like the adventure; I like the sense of not knowing what one might run it (cue Forrest Gump’s “life’s like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get” line)

Speaking of going on an adventure, whatever happened to the “Choose Your Own Adventure” franchise books? That’s an aspect of the 90’s that might go completely forgotten, but those were excellent. It’s a great idea for a book, and especially in this era where people want instantaneous gratification and a lot of choice in what they do, a book/story/app that lets you “form your own story” would be very interesting and might just be heralded as “certified fresh” like on Rotten Tomatoes.

The Ipad is addicting. I once rejected the Ipad on this blog as nothing but another computer, but I’ve come to realize it’s more than that. The Ipad doesn’t weigh as much, plays High-definition videos, and just feels more slick and unique. You know how “Facebook”’s biggest move was going from “The Facebook” to just “Facebook?” Apple’s equivalent might be its sleek design, the black flat screen with a white trim, very simple and attractive for users. Great foresight by Steve Jobs. Certainly the Ipad still has limitations, and I’m not going to swear by it and advocate that everyone use one because it can actually be pretty addicting, but it certainly has some unique features.  

My Ruby Sparks

Just caught a movie last night called “Ruby Sparks” (2012, stars Paul Dano) that was not only very good and very smart ( in the category of “Safety Not Guaranteed”) but also brought up some very interesting themes that got me thinking.

The movie’s about a writer that writes about a girl who he falls in love with, and then that girl suddenly just appears in his apartment one day as his girlfriend. Better yet, he has the power to change her by writing about her. Awesome premise, right?

1.)    The movie’s really good, and definitely worth a watch. Set in Los Angeles, the writer mentioned that it was the ideal set because one can feel “isolated” in LA and alone even though there’s so many people and things around. And I can relate to that; one can get lost in the hustle and bustle of the city or any of the other various cultures in the L.A. area. You can lose your identity (kind of how the girl in this movie did).

2.)    If you knew you had the power to change your girlfriend, would you? It’s like a Pandora’s Box, though and definitely illicts themes of playing God, and the movie deals great with that.

3.)    On top of having that power, what a lucky guy to just have a girlfriend….no need to go on dates, no need to make the first contact, start conversation…….that’s really my biggest problem (along with a lot of other problems). I’ve always believed that if someone got to know me they’d know I’m a good person. That doesn’t necessarily reflect, though, just walking down the street or sitting at work or something when I have a near-frown on my face and am not making jokes and “revealing my true self.”

4.)    The movie at its core is about true love and finding it/producing it yourself, as well as ideas of “you can create your ideal love partner and tell her to love you back, but that’s not truly what love is.” The actors/ actresses in the movie, Paul Dano and Zoe Kagan, who are actually together in real life, do a great job of expressing this kind of love and show that they are happy together (well, most of the time throughout this book). The Japanese have a term (well, more than just one term, and other cultures/languages have similar terms too) called “kataomoi,” or unrequited love. (Japanese lesson of the day). I have yet to experience this and more research (preferably hands-on/case-study) must be done.

5.)    This movie is exactly why I can’t watch romantic comedies anymore. It’s not they’re bad movies; I actually think that some of them are done pretty well. It’s just that every time the story becomes loving and love gets in the air, I’m reminded of my own situation. Especially upsetting in this movie was that the writer was a recluse who only talked to his brother and his psychiatrist at the beginning of the movie; I actually get out there and try to talk to women but with apparently less success than the writer. Sigh.

With that said, I did 2 editions of “Ruby Sparks for myself, or in the baseball version, “Brucey Sharks.” You’ll see what it’s about. (This is basically a version of me trying to copy what the movie did, as I’m sure many people, although I guess they only took in $2 million+ box office in the U.S.     

I met “Hannah Wu” at a volunteer event for kids with disabilities. We immediately hit it off, talking about what camps we had worked for before. We laughed as we shared jokes about what our Asian parents are like and how they’d be happy each of us had met someone who was of the same race and could speak Mandarin. I apologetically mentioned that she was a lawyer, to which she replied it was OK because she was tired of talking to marketing majors anyway. As with most people in the LA area, she had gone to UCLA but really didn’t care that I went to USC law school. We appreciated going to the Getty Center/ Santa Monica Pier/ Griffith Park/ movies/ dinners/parties/Angels baseball games, but also other unique things like my orchestra concerts and dodgeball games, her product launches and dance performances. It was just a great summer of fun that turned into the fall and the winter, and then suddenly we realized we were very happy together and traveled throughout the world. Sigh.

OK, here’s the real fantasy: I met “Brucey Sharks” on the waiver wire of my 14-team USC Law keeper league, my most competitive league and the one I care the most about (and haven’t won). Brucey was a less-heralded prospect who had been a serviceable player in the big leagues for about 3 years for a small-market team but hadn’t attracted much attention from fantasy managers, having shown some signs of power, avg., and speed. The big breakout came after the All-Star Break when he started on a tear with several multi-hit games and “Combo Meals” (stolen base and home run) at which point we started a relationship. A week in, Brucey was moved to the 3^rd spot in the lineup for his real MLB team and added more runs because of his lineup protection. I rejected legitimate offers for Brucey in the face of many experts’ projected regression. Brucey’s hot streak never fizzled, lasting into September and the fantasy playoffs when in the Semifinals, on Sunday night Baseball, Brucey scored 3 runs and hit an 8^th-inning, matchup-clinching 3-run homer off of the best pitcher in the league that miraculously gave me the win over my archrival and propelling me to my first Fantasy Baseball championship ever. Brucey was named the MVP of my season despite being added after the All-Star Break and became my perennial fantasy sweetheart. Sigh.

Fantasize on (literally),

                Robert Yan

Night Driving

Driving at night is one of the more perilous things a man can do. I hadn’t given it much thought before, but there are many numerous obstacles added to the normal driving hazards at daytime: Not being able to see far ahead, blinding lights from oncoming traffic, and confusion in the blind spot area, and the worst external pressure of all, drunk drivers.

I fully appreciate the consequences of driving at night, especially after having a few drinks. Even one beer will impair one’s ability to judge a situation rationally, and you need all of your capacities intact to do something  Yesterday I came face-to-face with that realization when I didn’t realize I needed to be in the other lane at the 170-101 fork and tried to get over, only to realize the driver behind me was doing the same thing, and had beaten me to it. Not sure whether the driver would try to overtake me or give me room to make the turn, I waffled in the lane for a second or so and could not determine from the lights and mirrors whether the driver was already in my blind spot and passing or was letting me go in front. By this time I had already passed the fork point and was now in the shoulder zone, the “in-between spot” between 2 lanes, which I wouldn’t have been had it been daytime and I could make a quicker decision. Eventually I passed into the lane, but by then a highway cruiser had already witnessed my activity and flashed his lights instructing me to pull over. Fortunately (and I felt very relieved) I was let go without a warning, but not before a lecture on driving as well as a field sobriety test of the pen variety.

                The field sobriety test, as I understand, is something that officers do at night when pulling drivers over “just to make sure” they hadn’t been drinking. On this particular night (Saturday) I had in fact had alcohol earlier in the night, but an insignificant amount. Still, that didn’t stop me from being slightly concerned when being subjected to the test, not for the slight chance that I might fail the test but the devastating consequences (DUI, arrest, etc., permanent record flashed into my head) in the off chance. The field sobriety test, as I understand it, is also ultimately a subjective test, where the officer notes the “totality of the circumstances” and checks for various signs that you have been drinking, and it can really vary due to the officer. Luckily due to my following instructions and proper driving techniques during the pullover process the officer let me go without a warning, but it certainly will make me think twice about drinking (AT ALL) before driving ever again, just to avoid the terror.

So far in 10 years of driving, I’ve been pulled over on the road twice: both times at night, and both times due to the inherent perils of driving. Once was failure to yield to emergency vehicle (didn’t see it until it was too late), and yesterday.

Personal fantasy team update: For once in this fantasy season, I’m actually over .500, and I actually like (most of) my players. Similar to what I’ve been doing with teams in recent years, I’ve scooped up a team full of free agents who are cast off by their previous owners due to some flaws in their game and lack of a “household name”, yet have redeeming qualities that allow them to be very valuable.

1.)    Matt Carpenter: No. 1 favorite player, batting like .325 at the top of a loaded Cardinals lineup on pace for like 120 R’s.

2.)    Eric Young Jr.: Hated by most of the fantasy community,  ever since he got to the Mets he’s been batting at the top of the lineup and tries to steal every time.

3.)    Michael Young: the opposite of young, he’s and old guy but can steal hit.

4.)    Bronson Arroyo: famous for having A-rod slap the ball out of his hand in ALCS 2004, he’s really become a wily veteran in his older years.

5.)    Alfonso Soriano: still has the ability to take over a team’s offense for weeks in a row.

6.)    Greg Holland: probably the best closer in the world right now. Yea I said it, better than Kimbrel, better than Chapman.

7.)    Ichiro!- batting in front of Robinson Cano certainly helps a singles hitter, also the run production.

8.)    Eric Stults: where did this guy come from? I always thought he was just a knuckleball specialist. Apparently not. 

I have promised myself 4 days of no baseball during the All-Star break. I encourage fantasy baseball and baseball enthusiasts to do the same. It's a long season.  Starts now! 

Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan 

Four Minor Topics

Culinarily Challenged. :

I don’t like wasting time on making food. The most I ever do is stick something in the microwave, stick frozen pizza in the oven, or stick frozen dumplings into boiling water and letting them cook (yes, a lot of sticking). My parents, however, are old-school Chinese cooks, and to their credit, they can come up with some incredible concoctions sometimes. Since I’m no good at it, I’ve made a note to inherit mother’s recipes when FINALLY I move consistently into my own home in a different city than my parents. . Certainly there’s more than just the recipes to learn like HOW to actually do it.

But really, do onions really need to be peeled from the actual onion? Do carrots really need to be sliced to perfection? Does meat really need to be marinated and “kept in” for days to let the favor soak in? Really? I prefer Subway.

Windows Moviemaker, more like Lifesaver:

Just discovered this program on my computer and I’m loving it! Can’t believe I haven’t utilized it before, and it totally explains why so many videos are downloaded onto Youtube (nice looking ones, I might add) Now that I’m finally arrived in the 2010’s decade by buying an Iphone, I can take videos and then post them up all the time! Also, I’ve solved the age-old dilemma of how to add music to my videos. Huzzah! I feel unstoppable.

AP Japanese, Easy as Cheese?

My sister is in the midst of the high school SAT/AP test crunch, and I noticed that in addition to the normal test subjects, there are also AP Chinese, AP Japanese, and other AP language tests. The Chinese tests I would ace for sure (not trying to boast, I had the advantage of learning since birth), but the Japanese doesn’t seem all that hard (except for the listening part, which I’ve also lagged on). I would say the Japanese AP exam is similar in difficult to the Japanese Proficiency Test N3 level (N5 being the easiest and N1 being the hardest, native level speakers-only test). Right now my reading ability is N2, and getting really close to an N1. I do plan on taking the N1 Japanese test eventually. (Well, actually, I should probably start with an easier one and build my way up). I’m strictly in the minority on this one, but sometimes I do miss those old AP tests and unleashing my knowledge of US history/European History on a test and getting a 5. Ah, those were the days when I thought I was really smart.

Fantasy Baseball- Introducing Bench Remorse

We’ve all been there before……making bad lineup decisions, leaving a guy we were going to start on the bench and then watching that guy vastly outperform the guy you started. Sometimes, as in my case, it costs you in the fantasy playoffs. What is your philosophy on if it’s “Your fault” for “Bench Remorse” as I like to call it? Logically, I’m rationalized it many times that I’m only responsible for getting the best lineup out there and whatever happens after is out of my hands, which is probably the most reasonable and sane explanation (as long as you get the best lineup out there), but Bench Remorse definitely creeps back in when Alfonso Soriano hits 2 HR’s and 4 RBI’s while the guy you started, Justin Morneau, goes a flat 0 for 4, and you’re in a tight rice in HR’s, RBI’s, and avg. That happened yesterday.Bench Remorse is a b****.

Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan