Lessons from Japan, Part I

Just came storming back from a trip to Japan...Tokyo, Kyoto, Nara, Hiroshima, Osaka, Narita, the little sushi stand at the train station in Himeji....you name it, I went there. A whirlwind of a trip (not of the hurricane or tsunami kind) and left quite an impression. Not really, unless you count the number of Japanese natives who were frustrated and impatiently waiting while I tried to understand what they ere saying or showing my inability to conjure up basic Japanese greetings and phrases.

Anyway, here are some life lessons when visiting Japan:

1.) Stay to the Left! Like the little-known and less-remembered Rihanna hit "To the left, to the left," that's what you should be singing to yourself walking (or driving) in the streets of Japan. Can't tell you how unnatural it felt to do so, fighting my every instinct, as well as how many times I almost collided with an incoming stranger because he (rightly) went left and I (not rightly) went right. (See what I did there?) That should be in every traveler's manual and tourbook about Japan. It's irresponsible not to.

2.) Sewer systems in Japan leave something to be desired. First night in Tokyo, big downpour. My Nike shoes were not well-equipped, but the real problem was the puddliness on the streets of Tokyo. I didn't see sewers or gutters anywhere. One would almost think they're not well-suited to handle water!


3.) Flip a coin when you have to talk to a random Japanese person..........about a 50% chance that person will know English and be able to converse. Relatively good odds, I'd say, for a non-European/Australian country with no history of being dominated by an English-speaking culture.

4.) Most toilets (the ones that aren't just squat-and-go, i.e. just a pit) have a Japanese symbol that means "big" and another one that means "little." Not sure about what that meant, but I have some ideas. I think it has to do with how much water is needed for flushing, if you get my "drift."

5.) unlike a lot of places I've been too (many of them in China), it smells......neutral.

6.) Subways are Amaaaaaaaaaaazing. L.A. city developers, here are tickets to Tokyo, Japan....please go through the subway system and learn from the efficiency and convenience of that city. The subways get anyone from anywhere to anywhere else, and fast.......the trains run on time, there are a lot of them, and Los Angeles needs them. NOW.

6a) Subway stations are its own little city. They have food, internet cafes, etc.... even its own map in case you get lost within the station (which I did). Quick traveler's tip: If you don't know where your hotel is yet and need to drop your luggage off somewhere quick, use the "coin lockers" at subway stations so you can just explore a city and then get out quick-like.

7.) Shin- (insert city here in Japan) is NOT the same as (insert city here). Don't make the same mistake I did and wind up in the wrong city altogether and 2 subway lines away from where I wanted to be. Not a pleasant experience.


8.) Shhhhhhh......don't talk on the trains!!!!! In fact, don't talk to anybody anywhere, is the general vibe I get. Not very communicative, except for the tourist-industry people.

9.) Sumo wrestling: Yea, not the most inventive sport ever invented. It's like when a little kid gets their first pair of monster truck toys and mashes them together to see which one will win.....it's really just brute force, in my opinion. Also, it's like horse racing or MMA fight: a LOT of build-up for not much action. The "wrestlers" throw salt around, prance around, and do the crowd favorite move (apparently): slap their naked abdominal area. The crowd cheers. O, and what's that about collusion and fixed matches? Yea, definitely rumors of that.

9a) And how do the wrestlers get so humongous? Most of the people in Japan are, for a lack of a better word, shrimpy, definitely not wide or fatty. And that's because of the food........there's just not a lot of it .They eat delicate, they eat exquisite, they eat seafood. They don't eat fatty, they don't eat a lot (judging by the amount of food I received every time I bought udon noodles.

10.) I wonder sometimes if a Japanese speaker, knowing that a tourist doesn't know a lick of Japanese and having been adequately provoked, just says "screw you" to that tourist. Can't believe that's never happened, certainly I gave enough reason to.

11.) Lot of "Hai's" meaning yes. No, thy're not saying hi to you, and you saying "hai" to them is just the equivalent of going around to everyone saying "Yes," "Yes," "Yes" to everything. The epitome of a Yes Man.