A few words before I begin my fantasy football preview:
The draft is like 50% of your season experience. Seriously. It’s
big. Unlike basketball and baseball, where there’s much more player movement
and adjustments needed during the season, much of fantasy football is decided
at the draft. Whereas I think in baseball and football the draft is OVERRATED
as too many people place too much stock on what the draft is, in football it’s
almost UNDERRATED. There’s certain guys you can only get at the draft, and once
they’re gone they’re probably gone forever. So preparing for the draft is
essential, that’s where half of your preparation for the WHOLE SEASON should be
focused.
Other tenets I usually go by:
1.) Go for
the less hyped players. A lot of very good players don’t get a lot of pubs
because they’re getting older, on the same team, not in the media, not flashy,
nothing really new happened in their lives, etc. They also happen to be fantasy
BEASTS and are underrated. Get them.
2.) I love
something I read once: “Floor early, ceiling late.” A little cryptic: Means in
your early rounds get the sure thing guys with very low chance to do poorly but
not as much upside, then later in the rounds get guys who are very risky and
can fall off the map but can also break out in a big way.
3.) In the
NFL, it’s young guys (30 years and over are toast). Don’t get rookies. 2nd years,
3rd years, and 4th years all welcome. Doesn’t
apply to QB’s.
4.) Don’t
pay for last year’s stars. Hasn’t failed me yet. Draft guys who underperformed
but have better skill, not guys with inferior skill who overperformed last
year.
5.) Finally,
the Secret to Fantasy Football 2012: In the last few years, the league has
become a QB-WR league. Lots of split carries in backfields across the country
and the opposite of “feature back.” Guess what: your stud QB’s and WR’s don’t
come off the field. Draft them before RB. Seriously.
Welcome to the Fantasy Football Zoo! It’s a pleasure serving you
today; my name is the Guru and I’ll be taking you through the proverbial jungle
that is the fantasy football player pool this year; you never know what you
might see, you could see Lions, Bears, Cardinals, Broncos, Ravens, all kinds of
creatures. Keep your eyes open!
1.) We start our tour today with what some might call our “Alpha
Males,” the guys that most of you probably came to see, the awesome trio of
Rodgers, Brady, and Brees. Look how they throw food at each other with razor
sharp provision and have all the other animals at their command. At the top of
the food chain here, these guys are always accurate, play to the crowds, and
have become fan favorites. But don’t spend too much (time) on them; there’s a
lot of underrated critters in our zoo that also deserve your attention that
could be in the “Alpha Male” exhibit by this time next year. So let’s move on.
2.) We next bring you to one some of us call “Beast Mode,” a
true beast of burden called Marshawn Lynch. Last year this guy tore up our zoo,
aggressively running roughshod through other animal habitats with no regard for
animal life. Unfortunately, he’s had a history of going “bananas” and then
calming down a bit, so who knows what this year will bring. Nah, I wouldn’t
want you to adopt this guy; no knowing what to do with him.
3.) I see
that you have seen the great long-time aerial resident Roddy White. Now, Roddy’s
not the quickest Falcon, not the most ferocious, and hasn’t got the longest
fangs, but all he’s done in the last 5 years is be everything we asked for,
come out every day and put on a show for all of us. We got the same trainer
with him, same old tricks. We love our Roddy here at the Fantasy Football Zoo
and we’ll keep loving him until he proves us wrong.
4.) Our
trick wouldn’t be complete without a little luck, and for that we bring you to
Andrew Luck, a new colt we just got into the zoo this week. Less acclaimed than
other newly-acquired animals, there’s a reason this little guy was picked. He’s
tall and can see over other animals and has all the tools to be a great asset.
O what’s that? Look at him now.
5.) A more mature mare (but still in the grooming stages) is
Demariyus Thomas, who grew up before our very eyes last year despite not having
the greatest of jockeys. He’s fast, he’s strong, he just keeps running. And we brought
in legendary jockey Peyton Manning to get him to perform at optimal levels. We
expect big things out of him this year.
6.) We’re gonna take a
detour here and take a look at our less-traditional animals at the tight-end section
of the zoo. As you can see, these guys are just jumping out of the boxes. We
could show you the irrepressible jimmy Graham or indefatigable Rob Gronkowski,
but you’re really in for a treat with Aaron Hernandez. Not many people like the
Hernandez, but he’s Gronk’s younger brother and may do even better than Gronk,
especially if our trainer utilizes him more.
7.) What’s that? What’s my favorite
critter this year? Here at the fantasy football zoo we like all animals and pay
attention to them, because we never know which one will drop below value and we
can get them at a discount! Yay! I
really like our little-known spotted Jaguar named Rashad Jennings, especially
since our elder Jaguar Jones-Drew is out of commission at the minute. Rashad
averaged 5.5 yards a carry last year and is very good at catching balls thrown
at him. Really like him.
8.) We
gotta show you our naughty animals too, those we put in their special place
called “the doghouse.” We won’t be displaying these animals this year, and we
let other zoos have them. Sometimes we’re totally wrong and we other zoos get a
lot out of these animals, but I think in this case we’re right about not
getting Victor Cruz, the little engine that could, or Robert Griffin III, the
guy that’s gonna cost us too much, Rob Gronkowski because people are tired of
him already, or AJ Green because we just don’t have a good trainer for him.
Thank
you for visiting the Fantasy Football Zoo. May you take your knowledge gained
today to great lengths, and we hope to see you next year after you conquer your
own little Fantasy Football Wars!!!!!!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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