Munchkin

Never did a post on Munchkin before, and since it’s become the cool thing to do at our workplace.

In short, if you’ve never played “Munchkin,” you’re missing out on a BLAST. It’s a game based purely on cards and very synonymous with a role-playing game like World of Warcraft or “Diablo,” where you assume the identify of a character (you start Human, then you can become Dwarf, Elf, Orc, etc.) and class (Wizard, Warrior, Thief, Cleric) and go around picking up items that help you fight Monsters big and small. (Sound familiar? That’s because it is). The twist is, instead of fighting mosnters exclusively on your own, you’re playing against OTHER PLAYERS, and you have to beat enough monsters, etc. to get to level 10 before the other guys.

Great game. Lots of fun, lots of collaboration, lots of screwing over. And that’s the thing with “games………a lot of the time, they just give you a chance to get around, socialize, not feel like you’re a rat in a maze. And Munchkin plays off of that: It has silly little cards with silly little pictures that make fun of the “serious role playing games” like Dungeons and Dragons by inserting cards like the “Stoned Golem” (Yes, that kind of stoned, you can get past it just by waving), the “Snails on Speed,” and my favorite, the “of Doom!” card: gives any weapon a further +2 bonus because it is now the “Whatever” of Doom!

Favorite cards and how much I would pay for them if in real life.  

1.)    Loaded Die: Play after you roll the die, for any reason. “Turn the die so the number of your choice is on top. That’s your roll.” Of very practicable use at various casino games. Craps comes to mind instantly. Usable only once, but you can make a LOT of money off of that one roll. Price: $300.

2.)    Wand of Dousing: “Go through the discards to find any one card you want. Take that card and Discard this one.” Imagine being to just go back in your life and take one image, one experience, and replace it with something that you’re doing now, like sitting at work. O would I use the Wand of Dousing but good. (I’m starting to use this phrase “but good” a lot).  Price: $200.

3.)    Really Impressive Title: (+3 bonus). Have a “kind of impressive but kinda just means you’re sleezy” title of “Esquire. Not sure it’s a +3 bonus but at least I can practice law and make a living. And it’s for life, no one can take it away from you. Price: $500.

4.)    Coat of Arms: Gives the wearer two extra hands to carry items with. Great to get through the daily grind, play dodgeball. Not a perfect machine, I’d rather have an invention that gave you more TIME, not more appendages. But I can’t complain, I suppose. Price: $100.

5.)    Hireling; Allows you to carry and use one extra item, and a +1 Bonus. You may discard your Hireling for an automatic escape from any monster.

Kind of tainted by allusions to slavery, but how helpful would a great helper be to clear up your daily schedule? And when you screw up, you can always just throw that person under the bus as a “Get Out of Jail Free card?” money. Price: $700.

6.)    Transferral Potion: Any other player (your choice) fights the monster(s), may ask for help normally. Imagine sitting at work having a pile of work to do, then realizing you can just pass it off on someone else and you go and just nap for the day. Lots of value, lots of value!!!! (note: I’m pretty sure a lot of bosses throughout the world have and use transferal potions all the time. It’s called “delegating.”) Price: $200.

7.)    Divine Intervention: All Clerics immediately go up a level. This can be the winning level. Price: priceless. I think the most important item that you can use, and in munchkin actually it’s one of the most valuable cards in that it lets you go to level 10 without fighting a monster. I’m in the camp of we each control less things that we can, that fate decides a lot of what happens to us, like how traffic is going to be like, what the weather is going to be, who your parents are, how many points Jamaal Charles scores for your fantasy football team on any given day, how smart you are, so the most important factor in leading your life IS really luck, or “divine intervention.” Can’t put a price on that.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

The Office

In less than a month, I will have worked at my current job for an entire year. The year that I’ve been with the firm has been a very interesting one, full of ups, downs, and lows, lots of unexpected events like victories in court, losses in court, outbursts by bosses, being moved out of one desk to another, living in no less than 4 different places for work, passing the bar, being swore into the California Bar, spending most of my time with the people at work, more than with my friends, family, or any others. I’m  mostly  just glad I’ve had this year to work, considering how much I fretted and worried about finding employment in the first place; there was a solid month there when I was really, truly, unemployed: No excuse of being a student, studying for the bar, or anything: Just plain unemployed. Dreadful times.

Coming into work at Meyer Law Organization, I had never worked for an entire calendar year at any one job. Sure I’d done internships, summer camp jobs, but never anything consecutive such as the “you’re gonna be spending the rest of the year at this job” situation. I’ve realized that life is so different as a student/ being unemployed than being at work. Here’s what I’ve learned:

1.)    Have to wake up early. Man this is the toughest part, when that 7:30AM alarm clock (or whatever it is) goes off and you HAVE to get up. No procrastinating, negotiating, etc. Suck it up, put your pants, on, and go to work. Can’t dillydally on the way out, neither, grab your breakfast and go, there may be traffic waiting for you on the way.

2.)    Same officemates every day. Ever since like eighth grade I’ve had different classes each day where you at least switch it up every day; you switch from history to English to math in any given day, or in college you have a Tuesday-Thursday schedule and a M-W-F schedule. Not so. It’s the same people EVERY day. At the same time. Wearing a lot of the same things. So you better get used to it, and get along with those people. You’ll be seeing them a lot.

3.)    You take on the identity of work. You start feeling like a lawyer, a doctor, a camp counselor, a store clerk, an accountant, an engineer, whatever its. It’s a strange concept and sort of “obvious,” but on a day to day basis I HAVE to think like a lawyer, argue with other lawyers, persuade the court of my client’s position, be assertive to the client about collecting legal fees. And while performing these tasks you take on those qualities: assertiveness, persuasiveness, argumentativeness (not a word, Bobby- try “combativeness.”) There’s no way to escape that. Even if you weren’t a type-A lawyer personality (or whatever personality your profession requires), you are that now.

4.)    There’s gonna be office politics. It follows everyone everywhere: from school to college to your social circles to the office. People v. people and trying to get to the top/trying to be the coolest person around. It’s gonna happen. Unless u work by yourself (and even then I could argue you “compete” against your dual personalities) you’re gonna have to brave the world of office politics. It’s rough waters, and some people just don’t know how to manage it. Oftentimes, unfortunately, the quality of your work gets outweighed by office politics. Seriously; true story. To quote the wire: “There’s games beyond the game.” – Stringer Bell.

5.)    Welcome to the rest of your life. I’ve used this phrase throughout the year to describe getting into the “working world” and having responsibilities and a career, but it’s really the truth. High school, college, law school….those were kind of just fairy tale stopping grounds before the long grind in the real world: you have to realize you’re a little fish in a VERY LARGE pond: if you stop to take a breath the world will not hesitate to leave you behind. The good news is: You get paid. Start working on your student loans. And you can buy stuff! Yay! The bad news is: this is the rest of your life. You have no idea when it’s gonna end. Marriage only makes it more complicated. Children worse. It’s a daily routine, 24/7, there’s a reason why they call it “nose to the grindstone.” No mythical things such as a “summer break” to take off, no “No classes on Friday!” breaks, no “O I’ll just skip class today.” This is real life. Time to nut up or shut up.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan 

Fantasy Football Zoo

A few words before I begin my fantasy football preview:

The draft is like 50% of your season experience. Seriously. It’s big. Unlike basketball and baseball, where there’s much more player movement and adjustments needed during the season, much of fantasy football is decided at the draft. Whereas I think in baseball and football the draft is OVERRATED as too many people place too much stock on what the draft is, in football it’s almost UNDERRATED. There’s certain guys you can only get at the draft, and once they’re gone they’re probably gone forever. So preparing for the draft is essential, that’s where half of your preparation for the WHOLE SEASON should be focused.

Other tenets I usually go by:

1.)    Go for the less hyped players. A lot of very good players don’t get a lot of pubs because they’re getting older, on the same team, not in the media, not flashy, nothing really new happened in their lives, etc. They also happen to be fantasy BEASTS and are underrated. Get them.

2.)    I love something I read once: “Floor early, ceiling late.” A little cryptic: Means in your early rounds get the sure thing guys with very low chance to do poorly but not as much upside, then later in the rounds get guys who are very risky and can fall off the map but can also break out in a big way.

3.)    In the NFL, it’s young guys (30 years and over are toast). Don’t get rookies. 2^nd years, 3^rd years, and 4^th years all welcome. Doesn’t apply to QB’s.

4.)    Don’t pay for last year’s stars. Hasn’t failed me yet. Draft guys who underperformed but have better skill, not guys with inferior skill who overperformed last year.

5.)    Finally, the Secret to Fantasy Football 2012: In the last few years, the league has become a QB-WR league. Lots of split carries in backfields across the country and the opposite of “feature back.” Guess what: your stud QB’s and WR’s don’t come off the field. Draft them before RB. Seriously.

Welcome to the Fantasy Football Zoo! It’s a pleasure serving you today; my name is the Guru and I’ll be taking you through the proverbial jungle that is the fantasy football player pool this year; you never know what you might see, you could see Lions, Bears, Cardinals, Broncos, Ravens, all kinds of creatures. Keep your eyes open!

1.)    We start our tour today with what some might call our “Alpha Males,” the guys that most of you probably came to see, the awesome trio of Rodgers, Brady, and Brees. Look how they throw food at each other with razor sharp provision and have all the other animals at their command. At the top of the food chain here, these guys are always accurate, play to the crowds, and have become fan favorites. But don’t spend too much (time) on them; there’s a lot of underrated critters in our zoo that also deserve your attention that could be in the “Alpha Male” exhibit by this time next year. So let’s move on.

2.) We next bring you to one some of us call “Beast Mode,” a true beast of burden called Marshawn Lynch. Last year this guy tore up our zoo, aggressively running roughshod through other animal habitats with no regard for animal life. Unfortunately, he’s had a history of going “bananas” and then calming down a bit, so who knows what this year will bring. Nah, I wouldn’t want you to adopt this guy; no knowing what to do with him.

3.)    I see that you have seen the great long-time aerial resident Roddy White. Now, Roddy’s not the quickest Falcon, not the most ferocious, and hasn’t got the longest fangs, but all he’s done in the last 5 years is be everything we asked for, come out every day and put on a show for all of us. We got the same trainer with him, same old tricks. We love our Roddy here at the Fantasy Football Zoo and we’ll keep loving him until he proves us wrong.

4.)    Our trick wouldn’t be complete without a little luck, and for that we bring you to Andrew Luck, a new colt we just got into the zoo this week. Less acclaimed than other newly-acquired animals, there’s a reason this little guy was picked. He’s tall and can see over other animals and has all the tools to be a great asset. O what’s that? Look at him now.  

5.) A more mature mare (but still in the grooming stages) is Demariyus Thomas, who grew up before our very eyes last year despite not having the greatest of jockeys. He’s fast, he’s strong, he just keeps running. And we brought in legendary jockey Peyton Manning to get him to perform at optimal levels. We expect big things out of him this year.

                        6.) We’re gonna take a detour here and take a look at our less-traditional animals at the tight-end section of the zoo. As you can see, these guys are just jumping out of the boxes. We could show you the irrepressible jimmy Graham or indefatigable Rob Gronkowski, but you’re really in for a treat with Aaron Hernandez. Not many people like the Hernandez, but he’s Gronk’s younger brother and may do even better than Gronk, especially if our trainer utilizes him more.

            7.) What’s that? What’s my favorite critter this year? Here at the fantasy football zoo we like all animals and pay attention to them, because we never know which one will drop below value and we can get them at a discount!  Yay! I really like our little-known spotted Jaguar named Rashad Jennings, especially since our elder Jaguar Jones-Drew is out of commission at the minute. Rashad averaged 5.5 yards a carry last year and is very good at catching balls thrown at him. Really like him.

8.) We gotta show you our naughty animals too, those we put in their special place called “the doghouse.” We won’t be displaying these animals this year, and we let other zoos have them. Sometimes we’re totally wrong and we other zoos get a lot out of these animals, but I think in this case we’re right about not getting Victor Cruz, the little engine that could, or Robert Griffin III, the guy that’s gonna cost us too much, Rob Gronkowski because people are tired of him already, or AJ Green because we just don’t have a good trainer for him.

Thank you for visiting the Fantasy Football Zoo. May you take your knowledge gained today to great lengths, and we hope to see you next year after you conquer your own little  Fantasy Football Wars!!!!!! 

Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan 

Planning Ahead

So many plans, so little time. Here are some things I notice about “planning ahead.”

1.)    When trying to “plan ahead” in the fantasy playoffs, just forget it. I’ve never succeeded in doing that, especially with injury risk (can you be certain a guy will still be healthy 3 weeks from now? No…you can never be certain.) Guys can become really really bad,

2.)    Setting a “price point” to buy/sell a stock: can be nullified by the stock never dropping/rising to that point. However, this type of planning gives you an idea of how much intrinsic value you put in the stock, gets you thinking about the stock, makes you plan your personal finances. Not a bad idea; just make sure you make the proper adjustment if it doesn’t get there.

3.)    Planning trips: tough. Wish I had done it more law school/college, when obligations to go to class are a bit “looser” than going to work. How long can you really take off? Will something come at work that forces you to miss that vacation? Which holiday to plan it around? I’m facing this very dilemma right now: How can I maximize my (deserved) vacation time to best get the most time out of it while not losing too much work time? I’m thinking November around Thanksgiving time (already gather around with my family too much as it is, not exactly my favorite holiday anyway.)

4.)    Planning 3-day weekends: Much easier. Easier in my position as it is to take just a day off work (lop off the Monday, Friday and stretch it into Saturday/Sunday.) 3-day weekends are compact weekends that can be planned pretty spontaneously, especially for someone with me with no kids, no significant other, no pets (Sorry people who have all of those, you’re missing out).

5.)    How early to plan? Also a legitimate concern. If you plan too early, things might happen between then and now that get in the way (maybe something better comes along that weekend) that gives you buyer’s remorse. Plan too late, and things get more expensive (think airline tickets). Southwest Airlines, for example, has like a magical cut-off date when their low, low rates go from attractively low to mundanely normal. There’s always Kayak.com, but even they get pretty expensive closer to the date. It’s also a fine line between “committing” to the trip v. still leaving it open. You want to be as flexible as possible, but if that’s the case you might never come to a decision and pull the trigger. This must be what marriage is like.

6.)    Planning around fantasy playoffs: Should never be a concern, but just came up recently. If I’m in the fantasy playoffs, I want to be at home watching the games/adjusting my lineup, ESPECIALLY in fantasy baseball. Sure there’s more important things than fantasy baseball, but if you can work your schedule around an awkward time, it’s probably better to do so.

7.)    Coordinating with friends. O man this could be dreadful; So many different people with different agendas, different schedules, different requirements. The more people the harder it is. The more people there are the earlier you have to plan it. Also have to expect unexpected dropouts, unexpected and uninvited “plus-ones,” etc. etc. It was so much easier back when I was a kid, just go outside and grab people playing outside or knock on their doors. (“Can Jimmy play?”)

8.)    Structure: overall, though planning ahead gives you structure in your life and something to look forward to. It makes life seem more organized, like you have more control of what’s going to happen to you, and usually it’s exciting to do something new, go out a whim, escape from the rat race for awhile.

Planning ahead note: I’m “planning ahead” to write way more for the rest of this year. The procrastination, neglect, and sheer laziness of this particular blogger has become ridiculous and unacceptable, and I will not stand for it. Later this week is Fantasy Football preview. I have a few fantasy football league titles to defend. Be here. Plan on it.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan  

Dodgeball = Life

I love dodgeball. My friend convinced me to join at the beginning of last year, and it’s been a whirlwind ever since. It’s fast-moving, requires unbending concentration, flexibility, accuracy, teamwork, a lot of the attributes that sports that get much more attention have. I would even argue that dodgeball is much more of a sport than many of the sports represented in the Olympic games, like 1.) who can shoot an arrow the straightest, 2.) who can run the fastest, or 3.) who can lift the most. I mean, those are sports, but they’re one-dimensional. Dodgeball is a game requiring so many different facets even beyond the three main facets of throwing, dodging, and catching (of which themselves trump some of the other aforementioned sports). Takes a lot of time and a lot of games to mold this tough game, but it’s a game you can definitely “get”/”figure out.” It’s a lot like life: the more games  you play, the better you get  (hopefully).

1.)    Throw together- when you can’t do something yourself, get someone to help you. Excellent lesson for dodgeball as throwing just one ball is easier to dodge and easier to catch as opponents can hone in on one ball, but having 2 balls throw at you is exponentially more difficult to focus on. It’s called “synergies,” or “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts,” something mega-billion corporations and governmental organizations alike can learn from.

2.)    Throw low and hard: Avoid the worst possibility, which is a catch by the other team. The kneecaps/shin area for most dodgeballers is a weak area, as opposed to the head (most leagues penalize head shots) or chest (easiest place to catch). Exploit weaknesses. It’s kind of like finding a job; find a weakness in supply in an industry that needs certain services…once you find it, you can market yourself and make yourself necessary.

3.)    Don’t reach for the balls when attempting a catch. Overreaching- obsessing over things, investing in pyramid schemes, whatever, don’t let your ambition run wild and reel it in. You’re not gonna catch/win at everything. Minimize the losses and capitalize the gains.

4.)    Don’t be afraid of getting hit. So many analogies here like “you can’t fly if you’re afraid of falling, etc.” It’s totally a mental game: if you try to catch, it’s gonna involve some residual pain. And there’s the obvious possibility you get hit but don’t catch, in which case you endured pain for no reason. But the payoff of a catch is huge; you can turn the whole game around.  

5.)    Pay attention. In leagues I play in there’s usually 7 balls in play at all times, and most of the time those balls will not be with your teammates. They can come at you at any time. The worst feeling is getting hit by a ball that you just didn’t see coming because you were inattentive; I’ll contentedly go out on a nice shot by someone or a nice play, but getting hit with a cheap shot is very frustrating. In our I-phone/texting/tech society today, it’s such an important lesson to maintain your concentration. Don’t take your eyes off the task at hand, or even your mind, which is usually the hardest part, when your mind wanders to other places, that’s when you miss something really important, like the ball coming right at you that you don’t see.

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

Here’s to a strong push to make Dodgeball a nationally-recognized game.