Changing Priorities

It's funny how people's priorities change as time goes along. It happens all the time, and I'm not just talking about the "O shoot instead of 3 months left to file my taxes I only have 3 days left so I better actually do my taxes now" kind of anxiety change, I'm talking about just naturally changing, changing

Here's an example of what priorities I've changed (and as always, I'm trying to relate it to the casual reader, so try to see where any of this might apply to you).

This time last year, I was absolutely OBSESSED with getting on Big Brother 12 (the summer-time TV show on CBS hosted by Julie Chen that trap "real" people in a house like guinea pigs while viewers watch. Yea, I know, sounds FUN). Big Brother 11 had just been a smash hit with some of the most memorable characters ever (Jordan/Jeff, Russell, Chima, etc.) and I wanted to be part of the excitement, try to show America how smart/social I was, and win some CASH. It was not to be, despite my best efforts. I sent in an audition video, went to the casting call, spent hours trying to find ways I could get cast or get an interview with a casting producer, even considered flying to Chicago to go to a SUBSEQUENT casting call after the one in LA didn't take.....it just wasn't meant to be).

Now looking back on it, I was being a little silly. Lots of people think they're great for reality TV. Lots of people want to be on the show, want a chance to make a lot of money. Doesn't mean the show wants you. Big Brother, like any other TV show, is a business...they take people who will be the best for them. Put simply, I don't fit their demographic.

This year, I didn't do ANYTHING for Big Brother. Not only do I have other obligations this summer (taking and passing the Bar) but I realize I have other things to plan for, to live for. When I was obsessed with Big Brother, I thought that was my life goal, and I was running out of time to get on. Kind of irrational; my life won't be defined by whether I was a reality TV contestant or not, it'll be defined by how I treat others, my reputation, my way of living, and what I do for others. Secondarily, my career, my financial success, my ability to achieve my goals. Getting on a show like Big Brother should be just one of the goals under that subsection of "achieve my goals."

That said, Big Brother producers, if you're reading this, I still wouldn't mind doing the show; I still really like it; have your people call my people. Survivor and Amazing Race producers, I bid you do the same.


Other change in priority in the last 5 years:

1. From reading all-fiction novels to non-fiction so that I can actual learn about the real world.
2. No news at all ( I didn't even know about Bear Stearns collapse) to getting a daily subscription of the Wall Street Journal.
3. Not caring about learning Chinese = EXTENSIVE review of Chinese: I gotta use that as my skill set, man.
4. Challenging myself intellectually (chess) to challenging myself physically (working out, losing weight).
5. Thinking "make a lot of money" in my career to "do what I enjoy." Eck......still trying to find a balance there, it's not as easy as people say, especially with the amount of student debt I'm in the hole for.
6. Thinking "how to get attention from my sister and put it on me" to " how I can help my sister achiever her goals and be the best that she can be."
7. Not having to win EVERY single fantasy league I'm in (unrealistic) but trying to have fun in each one, however I can have fun. This is admittedly hard to do, I'm VERY competitive and still would like nothing more than to take victory from the grasps of others.

I think a lot of these goals are a product of maturity, a sign of positive growth, but also more likely a better understanding of myself, of what I want out of life. I'm slowly realizing what it is. Finally,

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan