Big Things Poppin' in this Year's Big Brother House. Actually, like I've expressed before, I think this has been somewhat of a down year for Big Brother, especially cuz the lack of fights. The only tiffs have involved Rachel, and they were just minor skirmishes, not the full-on, drag-it-out, call-someone-the-worst-thing-you-can-think of affairs that Russell, Chima, Evil Dick have had. Not surprising, though, when they cast guys like Lane who have self-described himself as "shy." Huh? C'mon, CASTING!!!!
Anyway, after almost a full month of watching the 24/7 live feeds, BBAfterDark, AND the actual TV show, here are some predictions about the rest of the season that are sure to go wrong:
1.) Brendon will NOT win this game. Let's start with the obvious. In a show-mance, the strongest goes first. Brendon is that guy. He has 0% chance.
2.) Kathy will skate by til the final 3 or final 4. It happens every year, time after time, even AFTER everyone talks about it happening. The sucky housguest who can't ever win any competitions sticks around cuz no one wants to waste their HoH week on that person. This year's version of Jordan, Sheila, Jameka, is............KATHY!!!!! The cleaning lady, ahem deputy sheriff.
3.) The Brigade will break up next week if they don't win HoH. It's actually pretty amazing how long the B-b-b-brigaaaaade has stayed together without being detected, and it goes to show how powerful a secret alliance like that can be without a weak link in their midsts (like the Sovereign Alliance Season 7) or members who throw each other under the bus (Mrs. Robinson season 8). However, apparently production's been hinting stuff to other houseguests like Ragan already, Matt's more of a double-dipper than a loyal follower, and eventually other housguests will start running out of targets. Once 2 Brigaders hit the block, someone's spilling the beans and the whole house of cards will collapse.
4.) Britney or Ragan will go head-to-head in the competition for best diary room quotes this season, succeeding Kevin from BB11. These two got some zingers, unlike the coached sessions of "The Beast" Hayden or "open my eyes real wide to look excited" Lane.
5.) The return of the Sabotuer will fail miserably, as will this Pandora Box combo twist. Surprised CBS is even reviving it after its first attempt ended in its hyped-up Saboteur
6.) Holding true to its once-every-3-seasons pattern, Big Brother will bring back a Houseguest midseason to try to "spice it up" and have a revenge factor present to further "shake things up." Currently, Big Brother producers are arguing vehemently amongst themselves whether to do this due to the lack of big characters evicted so far who are worth bringing back, but they will probably have a chance of heart once Brendon/Rachel get evicted next week.
7.) Jeff from BB11 will make a "surprise visit" to the Big Brother house and bring us a pleasant blast of BB11, firing one-liners like people and entertaining viewers with his fake Irish accent temporarily replacing his very real Chicago accent, providing a bit of comedic relief in what has primarily been a laughless cast.
8.) Someone will do something truly disgusting to vilify themselves, finally giving us a villain that we can root against with all our fury, like BB11's Natalie. This game is all about rooting for the good guys and hating the bad guys, and so far this season no one's really made us get emotionally involved. That will change when a.) Enzo gets caught for the 17th time not washing his hands after using the restroom, b.) Ragan scolds Brendon again for his lack of gameplay but does it in a professorial, condescending tone, c.) Kathy talks bad about America for not giving her America's choice cuz she is the most deserving of it and needs it the most, or d.) Hayden reveals that he and Kristen were in fact brother and sister. Until then, still no uber-villains. Bleh.
9.) Britney will emerge as one of the best female gameplayers Big Brother has even seen, prove her encyclopediac knowledge of the game useful, benefit from the fact her closest ally (Monet) was severed from her early in the game, and show how she's been a demonstrably better player than last year's southern peach, culminating in a non-controversial BB12 victory. Huzzah!
Btw, I love Vicente Padilla.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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