Got another book recommendation: Barack Obama's 2006, pre-presidential election campaign work, "Audacity of Hope." Whether or not you agree with him, it's like he's talking to you through the book, and you really got a good sense of what he thinks. It's VERY VERY honest, and my views of him have, let's say, "evolved" through it.
There will be two types of lawyer jokes in this post: the regular, make-fun-of-lawyers-cuz-they're-the-scum-of-the-earth-but-i-chose-to-become-one-anyway variety, and then a new, fresh batch of Robert Yan-type lawyer jokes that you gotta try on for size.
Came across these online:
What do lawyers use for birth control?-- Their personalities.
What's the difference between a porcupine and an ambulance chasing BMW
carrying three lawyers?-- A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What do you call a lawyer who doesn't chase ambulances?-- Retired.
What's the difference between a lawyer and God?-- God doesn't think he's a lawyer!
Why should you not run over a lawyer on a bicycle?-- It might be your bicycle.
Haha, good stuff.
Now for the good stuff: these jokes are like the jokes my law school classmates got sick of me using the whole year, yet it really shows some creativity on my part. Feel free to ceremoniously lift it and use it for your own use.
When playing fantasy basketball, you really enter into a contract with your NBA player. There's no mutual assent, but there's all the ups and downs in the relationship with a basketball player: the lack of performance, the overproduction, the total material breach of a contract that makes you never deal with that player ever again.
This year I have entered into a contract with Dirk Nowitzki: paid him lots of fantasy money: 5th pick in teh draft, based on his course of performance in the last 8 years or so, had expectations and he's lived up to them. Good investment. Now, a real tort has been committed by my drafting Andrew Bogut. Man's a fraud, I almost feel like suing for impractibility or misrepresentation or unconscionability or something, this guy just lured me into a false sense of security, gave me false hopes, and definitely did NOT act in good faith.
Unfortunately, I've been screwed before. In 2005 and 2006, I drafted Tracy McGrady in THREE LEAGUES each of those years. Talk about assault and battery, this guy did the whole package. He battered me, destroyed the whole foundation, stole my property, hit my in the balls, the whole nine yards. He has an affirmative defense in 2006 because I assumed the risk of drafting him AGAIN in all those leagues, but I might be judged by a different standard in some courts due to mental incapacitation in those years. (It must have been insanity to let him screw me again).
Every time I see Jermaine O'Neal ever again on a draft board, I file a 12b6 motion to dismiss mine, get his butt straight out of court and never hear from him again, if he ever comes up the next year I'll file a res judicata defense that the case has been tried already, and JO has definitely failed on the merits.
OK that didn't work out too well. I'll try better next time.
I'm so obsessed by TO's in my roto league, I seem to have just realized that they are worth any other category, yet i just don't take great weight in them. Guy like Dwayne Wade, 4.0 TO's per game, can kill you in that category automatically. Gotta keep that in mind. Guys like Rasheed Wallace (1.1 TO's) and Peja Stojavoic (0.9 TO's) get an added boost because they're like the thin, lean version of meet, limits their turnovers despite limited numbers in other cats.
Fantasize on, Robert Yan
Friday, December 26, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Extra Gift under the tree: More fantasy b-ball analysis
Back to business: As it's christmas and I'm in a giving mood, this is an extra long post on fantasy basketball players. It's really not a big problem for me, it's like telling an ice cream taster that he's got another batch coming: No complaints here.
I will say that basketball seems to be more interesting this year already: I dunno if it's again that dichotomy between law school and leisure, but it sure seems like storylines are getting better: LeBron James maturing into the legendary one like he should be, dwayne wade being my favorite player by morphing back to 2006 form, and the lakers-celtics inevitable finals matchup (Many think it HAS to happen- w/o a better option I'd have to agree w/ them).
Thinking about gettin' an intramural softball league going for law school: Be nice to bond w/ some peeps. Also, wanna have the SBA 1L reps to start some sorta talent show at the end of the show, w/o people embarrassing themselves of course. (Gotta imagine someone has a fire-breathing or grass-whistling trick up their sleeve in law school)
I'll do my player evals in this format: How high I was on the player on draft day, and whether they've exceeded general expectations. (By animal, I guess, big = exceeded, small = underacheived)
Allen Iverson: Like a termite. This guy has grossly underachieved, most of it not on him after getting traded to the graveyard of fantasy entities: Detroit. Doesn't fit his game at all, it's like trying to fit a round peg into a square hole, doesn't work. Especially not for AI's fantasy game. If anything, rodney stuckey is BETTER than the answer there.
Steve Nash: Butterfly. Sure he still looks flashy, still got that soccer-playing, handsomely charming, European good looks, but his numbers are downright ugly. Less assists, less 3's, less points, more turnovers, not good. Right there that's the 4 no-no's. And it's not like he's been hurt, which can be explained away. It's just the system has changed, and that's never a good thing if the coach isn't close to being fired yet. Uh-oh.
Yao:
Rhinocerous. Prodigious just cuz he hasn't gotten hurt yet. Lovely good, having him healthy and producing at Y!- ranked 8th level. Those peripherals alone are to die for: 54.4% FG and 88% FT, at a high volume too helps carry those 2 cats. It's like finding some ivory horns in your closet.
Jason Richardson- earthworm. Definitely shriveling. What could u expect from any fantasy player who was in charlotte long-term? Actually, he's no longer in charlotte and in phoenix where u'd think the fantasy atmosphere's more favorable, but shaq's bogging down that offense and jr's like the 4th option on that time. Urg if you're his owners.
Josh Smith- Dinosaur egg. Kinda puny right now, but very soon about to become a giant. Started off slow, but he's still a freak, and freaks put up steals and blks in abundance for a long time in this league, unless your name is andrei kirilenko. Smith will explode (hatch) soon.
Brandon Roy: shark. 52 points? Who? Roy. I was high on him comin out of college after he single-handedly eliminated the Illini from the tournament one year, so this comes as no shock to me. Again, there's some wierd air in the pacific northwest.
Pau Gasol: Fox. Not huge, not foreboding, but plays very smart, very consistent, comes to work night in and night out, love his work ethic and what he means for lakers ( lakers = mediocore team w/o him).
Danny Granger: cassowary (very big bird that nobody talks about). That's Granger in a nut shell. Puts up great numbrs, everything you need ( 2.5 3's, 1.0 stls, 1.4 blks, and 24 pts) but just is like a forgotten man in indiana. Fantasy force for many years to come.
"You are as high as a kite!" just saw an ad for pineapple express. Hahahaha.
Nene: Tazmanian Devil. for many years we heard about what this guy could do when healthy. Well, now we know. Stud for the nuggs, he just looks like a whirlwind on the floor. Also steals and swats like nobody's business.
Again, Merry Christmas, everyone!
Present over.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
I will say that basketball seems to be more interesting this year already: I dunno if it's again that dichotomy between law school and leisure, but it sure seems like storylines are getting better: LeBron James maturing into the legendary one like he should be, dwayne wade being my favorite player by morphing back to 2006 form, and the lakers-celtics inevitable finals matchup (Many think it HAS to happen- w/o a better option I'd have to agree w/ them).
Thinking about gettin' an intramural softball league going for law school: Be nice to bond w/ some peeps. Also, wanna have the SBA 1L reps to start some sorta talent show at the end of the show, w/o people embarrassing themselves of course. (Gotta imagine someone has a fire-breathing or grass-whistling trick up their sleeve in law school)
I'll do my player evals in this format: How high I was on the player on draft day, and whether they've exceeded general expectations. (By animal, I guess, big = exceeded, small = underacheived)
Allen Iverson: Like a termite. This guy has grossly underachieved, most of it not on him after getting traded to the graveyard of fantasy entities: Detroit. Doesn't fit his game at all, it's like trying to fit a round peg into a square hole, doesn't work. Especially not for AI's fantasy game. If anything, rodney stuckey is BETTER than the answer there.
Steve Nash: Butterfly. Sure he still looks flashy, still got that soccer-playing, handsomely charming, European good looks, but his numbers are downright ugly. Less assists, less 3's, less points, more turnovers, not good. Right there that's the 4 no-no's. And it's not like he's been hurt, which can be explained away. It's just the system has changed, and that's never a good thing if the coach isn't close to being fired yet. Uh-oh.
Yao:
Rhinocerous. Prodigious just cuz he hasn't gotten hurt yet. Lovely good, having him healthy and producing at Y!- ranked 8th level. Those peripherals alone are to die for: 54.4% FG and 88% FT, at a high volume too helps carry those 2 cats. It's like finding some ivory horns in your closet.
Jason Richardson- earthworm. Definitely shriveling. What could u expect from any fantasy player who was in charlotte long-term? Actually, he's no longer in charlotte and in phoenix where u'd think the fantasy atmosphere's more favorable, but shaq's bogging down that offense and jr's like the 4th option on that time. Urg if you're his owners.
Josh Smith- Dinosaur egg. Kinda puny right now, but very soon about to become a giant. Started off slow, but he's still a freak, and freaks put up steals and blks in abundance for a long time in this league, unless your name is andrei kirilenko. Smith will explode (hatch) soon.
Brandon Roy: shark. 52 points? Who? Roy. I was high on him comin out of college after he single-handedly eliminated the Illini from the tournament one year, so this comes as no shock to me. Again, there's some wierd air in the pacific northwest.
Pau Gasol: Fox. Not huge, not foreboding, but plays very smart, very consistent, comes to work night in and night out, love his work ethic and what he means for lakers ( lakers = mediocore team w/o him).
Danny Granger: cassowary (very big bird that nobody talks about). That's Granger in a nut shell. Puts up great numbrs, everything you need ( 2.5 3's, 1.0 stls, 1.4 blks, and 24 pts) but just is like a forgotten man in indiana. Fantasy force for many years to come.
"You are as high as a kite!" just saw an ad for pineapple express. Hahahaha.
Nene: Tazmanian Devil. for many years we heard about what this guy could do when healthy. Well, now we know. Stud for the nuggs, he just looks like a whirlwind on the floor. Also steals and swats like nobody's business.
Again, Merry Christmas, everyone!
Present over.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Merry Christmas
O the weather outside is frightful.........
Man it's good to be back. Looking at my last post, I was pretty accurate about what to expect from my first semester of law school.....it was quite the experience, and I'm gonna remember the last 4 months (actually, exactly 4 months). It was full of causation, breach of duty, 12b6 motions, stiff-arming common law judges, running for SBA 1L election under a Sarah Palin platform, it was crazy. Really crazy. The winter break has been so much more enjoyable this year, though, cuz I know I worked so freakishly hard the last few months. The contrast between work and play is especially highlighted, I guess.
Anyway, lotta fantasy matters to attend to. I won one of my fantasy baseball leagues this year again, not gonna brag but it's becoming routine. My well-tailored strategy has proven useful for me year after year ( if you don't know it, see my previous posts, fools), and my predictions were mostly correct: Ryan Howard broke 45 HR's again, Grady Sizemore was a stud, and the Cubs won the World Series! (Ahem, that last one was a figment of my imagination, and I actually really prefoer NOT to talk about it, so let's drop it, shall we?)
Fantasy basketball is well under way, and I'm doing well. Did I mention I LOVE fantasy basketball? Probably my fav game, ESPECIALLY in roto leagues. You just gotta manage your team really well in roto, and every game counts, just like fantasy baseball. So pure, roto is, none of this, "get past the week and wipe the slate clean" stuff. If Shaq gets off to an 0-for-10 start from the line, do you get to wipe that slate clean? No, you SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES for playing him! Not to sound cruel, but it's true. Roto is why Dwight Howard is a monster in real life but a mediocre player in fantasy, is why 3-point specialists like peja or steve blake( this year) have value, and where 5X5 cats are born (a la Josh Smith)
Ok let's get to it. I LOVE kevin durant this season. This man is getting better and better every day, he's on possibly one of the worst basketball teams on earth right now but still proves to be a roto stud. Ever since the thunder (terrible name, btw, I woulda named them the "honky donkey's" or the "blustery butterballs" before I named them the thunder) changed coaches and changed KD's position to SF, he's been a beast. He scores 20 + nightly, gets the defensive stats (either stl's or blk's, you choose) and the percentages to boost ( I actually rely on his 85% FT% along with dirk on my team to steady that cat). Man's solid and will probably be at least a top-20 fantasy player by year's end and drafted in the early 2nd round next year. Lot of good things happening.
Just traded Rudy Gay and Baron Davis away for Jose Calderon and Al Horford and Peja Stojakovic. Didn't really need peja, was a throw-in and probably a drop after i get him. It doesn't look good on paper, and it goes against one of my principles of trying to get players drafted higher on draft day, but for my team it's healthy ( I like how I've adopted a nourishing mentality to my team as opposed to "you guys fuckin' suck!" The key to this trade is B-Diddy's ineptitude in roto. Like D12 in FT%, Davis absolutely KILLS ur FG%, especially this year (atrocious 36.9% from the field). Nothing else is really terrible, like the 2.5 TO's per and actually his FT% is dece this year at 78%, but that FG% is gonna hold me back like a cancer. Calderon, the Spanish Flea, on the other hand, is the anti-diddy in that he posts nice peripherals, limits turnovers, and isn't an injury risk. None of the sexy numbers like 1.8 stl's and 18 PPG, but calderon is like a caesar salad health-wise to Diddy's omelette (not gonna kill you, but causes high cholestrol) Al Horford is a double-double waiting to happen, but key is is his 52% FG and 1.7 Blk's. He's learned to become a shot-blocker this year alongside J-Smoove on the hawks, and he's only getting better.
Steve Blake: The air in the Pacific Northwest must be easier to travel through, cuz White Chocolate is just rainbowing 3's from down-town. Love him cuz he throws in other #'s (asts, pts) along w/ limited turnovers.
biggest disappointment you could've seen coming: Elton Brand. New team, coming off injury, just signed big contract.......I woulda avoided brand at all costs in this year's drafting considering he was going at #5 or 6. Every other first-rounder except the matrix has played to form.
Chauncey Billups is just a great real player, but his fantasy stats didn't suffer after getting moved to denver. He's just so solid.
Buy low on david west. That hornets team will be back in action soon and running on full cylinders, and in roto west's 49% FG and 85% FT are very attractive.
Shoulda sold high on Spencer Hawes. I didn't. Now, though, I feel like you should Stash him and buy low, cuz he's in a rut but will get more opportunity as soon as the kings get into "play-the-young guys-cuz-we're done" mode again. ( An annual occurence)
More to come. I promise. Got a lotta free time this winter break.
-Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Man it's good to be back. Looking at my last post, I was pretty accurate about what to expect from my first semester of law school.....it was quite the experience, and I'm gonna remember the last 4 months (actually, exactly 4 months). It was full of causation, breach of duty, 12b6 motions, stiff-arming common law judges, running for SBA 1L election under a Sarah Palin platform, it was crazy. Really crazy. The winter break has been so much more enjoyable this year, though, cuz I know I worked so freakishly hard the last few months. The contrast between work and play is especially highlighted, I guess.
Anyway, lotta fantasy matters to attend to. I won one of my fantasy baseball leagues this year again, not gonna brag but it's becoming routine. My well-tailored strategy has proven useful for me year after year ( if you don't know it, see my previous posts, fools), and my predictions were mostly correct: Ryan Howard broke 45 HR's again, Grady Sizemore was a stud, and the Cubs won the World Series! (Ahem, that last one was a figment of my imagination, and I actually really prefoer NOT to talk about it, so let's drop it, shall we?)
Fantasy basketball is well under way, and I'm doing well. Did I mention I LOVE fantasy basketball? Probably my fav game, ESPECIALLY in roto leagues. You just gotta manage your team really well in roto, and every game counts, just like fantasy baseball. So pure, roto is, none of this, "get past the week and wipe the slate clean" stuff. If Shaq gets off to an 0-for-10 start from the line, do you get to wipe that slate clean? No, you SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES for playing him! Not to sound cruel, but it's true. Roto is why Dwight Howard is a monster in real life but a mediocre player in fantasy, is why 3-point specialists like peja or steve blake( this year) have value, and where 5X5 cats are born (a la Josh Smith)
Ok let's get to it. I LOVE kevin durant this season. This man is getting better and better every day, he's on possibly one of the worst basketball teams on earth right now but still proves to be a roto stud. Ever since the thunder (terrible name, btw, I woulda named them the "honky donkey's" or the "blustery butterballs" before I named them the thunder) changed coaches and changed KD's position to SF, he's been a beast. He scores 20 + nightly, gets the defensive stats (either stl's or blk's, you choose) and the percentages to boost ( I actually rely on his 85% FT% along with dirk on my team to steady that cat). Man's solid and will probably be at least a top-20 fantasy player by year's end and drafted in the early 2nd round next year. Lot of good things happening.
Just traded Rudy Gay and Baron Davis away for Jose Calderon and Al Horford and Peja Stojakovic. Didn't really need peja, was a throw-in and probably a drop after i get him. It doesn't look good on paper, and it goes against one of my principles of trying to get players drafted higher on draft day, but for my team it's healthy ( I like how I've adopted a nourishing mentality to my team as opposed to "you guys fuckin' suck!" The key to this trade is B-Diddy's ineptitude in roto. Like D12 in FT%, Davis absolutely KILLS ur FG%, especially this year (atrocious 36.9% from the field). Nothing else is really terrible, like the 2.5 TO's per and actually his FT% is dece this year at 78%, but that FG% is gonna hold me back like a cancer. Calderon, the Spanish Flea, on the other hand, is the anti-diddy in that he posts nice peripherals, limits turnovers, and isn't an injury risk. None of the sexy numbers like 1.8 stl's and 18 PPG, but calderon is like a caesar salad health-wise to Diddy's omelette (not gonna kill you, but causes high cholestrol) Al Horford is a double-double waiting to happen, but key is is his 52% FG and 1.7 Blk's. He's learned to become a shot-blocker this year alongside J-Smoove on the hawks, and he's only getting better.
Steve Blake: The air in the Pacific Northwest must be easier to travel through, cuz White Chocolate is just rainbowing 3's from down-town. Love him cuz he throws in other #'s (asts, pts) along w/ limited turnovers.
biggest disappointment you could've seen coming: Elton Brand. New team, coming off injury, just signed big contract.......I woulda avoided brand at all costs in this year's drafting considering he was going at #5 or 6. Every other first-rounder except the matrix has played to form.
Chauncey Billups is just a great real player, but his fantasy stats didn't suffer after getting moved to denver. He's just so solid.
Buy low on david west. That hornets team will be back in action soon and running on full cylinders, and in roto west's 49% FG and 85% FT are very attractive.
Shoulda sold high on Spencer Hawes. I didn't. Now, though, I feel like you should Stash him and buy low, cuz he's in a rut but will get more opportunity as soon as the kings get into "play-the-young guys-cuz-we're done" mode again. ( An annual occurence)
More to come. I promise. Got a lotta free time this winter break.
-Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)