Virtuoso (大师, 名手, 거장)

MJ and I went to see Itzhak Perlman recently, a living legend of the violin and one of the top classical musicians in the world. I'd compare him to Paul McCartney or Cher from the pop world, a multi-generational talent who needs no introduction, when Perlman's name is on the ticket event people don't read the rest of the program, it just sells out the venue (and that's saying a lot for classical music nowadays). Itzhak played his normal program, then came out to do 4 more pieces with explanations of each. He was the consummate musician, explaining the peices that he would do (his voice is still a nice steady baritone even at 80 years old) and threw in jokes about how Brahms should be named "Brahm" for composing the Hungarian Dances because there's only one dance. I also appreciated when Itzhak played violin pieces that I've played before in my high school days, with various fingering exercises, pizzicato, and those all-so-difficult harmonic notes that I never mastered how to get enough contact on the string to achieve the perfect high-pitch notes. Perlman pretty much showed us how the piece is REALLY supposed to be played, with emotion, and Perlman played the the theme from Schindler's List (the sad violin music that hits your soul) like he owns the song, to me that was the best piece of the night. I'm sure he's an inspiration to innumerable young musicians out there, but he's especially loved by my dad, who loved playing the violin and still plays it now even in retirement (I guess whatever you do in retirement is a good indication of your preferences, what you always wanted to do with your life but never got the chance to). I think my dad would have loved to be a violin virtuoso, someone who plays in front of huge audiences like Itzhak Perlman does, and my dad gave me a chance to do so, it's just too bad I didn't have the talent for it neither, and moreover didn't have the same passion for violin as he did. I like sitting in the back of the violin section covered up by much better players and contributing to the orchestra, pretending at the end of the night performing in front of the audience that they were clapping for me, but I never wanted to do solos in front of an audience, there were just too many places I could trip up playing violin, every note could be the one that scratches, or be off-tune, or be an upbow instead of the required downbow, my personality was just never to be violin virtuoso. However, that's not to say I don't love the applause and performing; I think everyone at some level would like performing in a big music hall or stadium or football field and having people watch and applaud. I got a little taste of that in dodgeball, and I realize now that's partly why I did it: I was good at it, and other people watched and applauded. It's a pretty simple concept and adrenaline high; I'm sure Itzhak Perlman is used to it by now, night after night of standing ovations, but for commoners like me who don't have any special talent, it's a special treat to stand in front of an audience and have people applaud. In the profession I've chosen, you don't get audiences with any applause, if you win a case or get a favorable statement you get an "attaboy" from the partner or some form of monetary compensation, followed by maybe promotions, but never do you get an audience of people watching and appreciating your work; it's not artwork. Even when you argue in front of a judge and you win the case, jury declares the verdict in favor of your client, judge slams the gavel down, no one in court is going to applaud your effort. That's just the profession I've chosen. Art is just a completely different animal, and I understand why so many people pursue their craft: it's risky because you don't know if what you have is going to be good and appreciated, but if and when it is appreciated the audience REALLY appreciates it. Music stars have the highest popularity ratings in the world. Being a parent is one of those jobs that.....does not get appreciated. No one gives parents a standing ovation for changing a diaper, no one asks for an encore for getting your baby to fall asleep, those are just understood as a parent, and that's the job we as parents sign up for: it's a forever job that isn't going to get that adrenaline of applause that people like me seek. It's a different feeling, and I hope I achieve it. But maybe one day, I'll be able to stand in front of an audience, look up at the rafters to all the people clapping, and know the applause is for me.