Life after 35

10 years ago, I was in the midst of an active singles life, flying to Vancouver one weekend, planning trips to Japan, playing dodgeball 2 times a week and sometimes even more on weekends, I lived my best life....or so I thought. I ran a marathon in 2015! I can barely lift my legs now when running, often tripping on the sidewalk if there's just a little bit of a pothole or crack because I'm not lifting my legs enough. Every hill seems like the last peak on Mount Everest, needing a break to catch myself when I get on top. I would never be able to survive the L.A. marathon now with all its hills and intermittent slopes. And that's just one of the things I can't do 10 years later. I met with a close friend from 10 years ago and we did some of the things we'd do back in the day: go to In N' Out, eat yogurt at Yogurtland, and we both came to a conclusion: It's hard to make friends after 35. It feels like I met at least 20 new friends every year in my twenties, Facebook requests would come from people I had barely known once or whom I played a game of dodgeball against and they knew me by reputation......nowadays I don't get any birthday wishes on my Facebook wall anymore, nor do I wish anyone else a happy birthday. (This might be more a reflection on Facebook than anything else). But this, in a sense, is still me living my best life. I cherish being alone now. The alone time is so important for me to do my own thing, not have any obligations to worry about, rushing through L.A. traffic to get to my next appointment trying to cram everything into a tight window like a checklist. I remember all the time in my twenties being late to things and wishing I could teleport there faster, but also thinking, "things have to just slow down at some point and I need to reset." Well, slow down they have: my social calendar consists of maybe 1 item per week, and it's not even 100% guaranteed I make it. I do the things that I want to do, not what other people want to do and I'm tagging along just to stay social. I don't ever go out to a bar just to experience the bar culture, no clubs, barely any restaurants unless it's a vegan restaurant. I shop at Costco. It's not so bad, staying home. I used to get antsy if I didn't have anything to do on Friday nights or Saturdays nights, someone out there must be doing something fun! And I ended up wasting it or trying too hard to make a night of it. Once you've stayed home on Saturday night once, traditionally the time everyone's out there doing something, whether it's weddings, music concert, sports event, night out on the town, singing karaoke, whatever's your jam, I like to take time to read a book, call my mom, catch up on TV- the important things in life, it's much easier to do it again the next Saturday night, and then the next, and the next, and it just becomes a pattern. Age also plays a role: instead of weddings you get invited just to baby showers (attended one this weekend) which are usually during the day, when responsible adults roam and hang out with their kids. All the friends have kids so they only invite you sporadically when they can free up schedule like for Passover weekend or whenever their kids aren't sick or came down with something last second. And there's no impetus to belong to a crowd and hang out every week anymore, to need that feeling of belonging or to escape loneliness......thanks to MJ! The loneliness is mitigated as long as there's someone there who can assure you that there are other human beings in the world. I've been 35 for a few years now, and going to turning 35 again in a few weeks! It's not so bad! But my body really can't handle back-to-back red-eye flights with connections anymore. Booking Bobby and Frugal Bobby needs to get sat down by Adult and Responsible Bobby to say, "we just can't put ourselves through that, you're being penny wise but pound foolish," I don't care how much money you're saving, just make yourself comfortable. TREAT YOURSELF! It's ok to do that once in a while, like Tom Haverford said on Parks and Rec, and when you're past 35, gotta do that once in a while.