MJ and I recently visited a friend to witness the baptism of her daughter, and of course being the nosy person I was I looked at the bookshelf of their home and found a book I've always wanted to read: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, describing the African-American woman who originated the HeLa cells, an important cell line in cancer research. The book looks behind the rosy picture of Henrietta contributing to cancer research and years of scientific exploration, as she was not informed that her cells were being used, she wasn't compensated for using her cells, and she led a difficult life with 5 children and going through cervical cancer, especially in 1951 at Johns Hopkins Hospital, not exactly the best time in the history of the world or the U.S. for African American women. It's a sad story but one that described one of the people who sacrificed for contributions to science, albeit unwillingly. I ask myself the question, if I had the body like Henrietta Lacks to be the key to discovering a cure for cancer, would I give up my life for millions of people after me to receive that cancer? Even knowing that after they cure cancer the hedonic treadmill will just move on to the next thing that's bothering the world and my contribution will likely be forgotten, like Henrietta Lacks's contribution is mainly forgotten? It's a tough conundrum, right? Utilitarians would say, yes, of course the cost of one life is nothing compared to saving millions of other lives, but it's not their life their sacrificing, if I give up my life I don't live in a world anymore that requires me to save, so why do it in the first place? It's a paradox for sure, although I wouldn't put it past the future to have one person in history have to make a decision like that, I imagine some sort of button like in a movie where there are 2 options: "sacrifice yourself to save the world" and "sacrifice the world to save yourself." What a dilemma.
Unfortunately we don't have a cure for cancer yet, and even with AI and technology improving all the time, a cure for cancer is not expected. Cancer seemingly is appearing in my life in various places, to distant connections like a law school friend's dog dying suddnely because of a silent killer of cancer in the pancreas, to my mom developing cancer and going through chemotherapy and now having to make a difficult decision whether to continue with chemotherapy, pursue immunotherapy, or go with the doctor's initial recommendation of doing surgery. It's not something anyone wants to go through but a real problem nevertheless; and based on how common cancer is (if other killers like heart disease, diabetes, suicide, accidents, Covid-19, etc. don't get you, cancer will eventually catch up to you) it's something I will continue to deal with either in myself or someone I'm close to. There are also so many different types of cancers: breast cancer, lymphoma, leukemia, lung cancer, colon cancer, melanoma, and the one I really fear because it's so in deep and involving an essential organ: brain cancer. I donate to the St. Jude Children's Hospital because they deal with childhood cancers, something that seems grossly unfair to not let children even live their lives for a little bit before burdening them with cancer. Heck there's even a whole month for breast cancer awareness every month (this month!) coupled with Nurses week, etc..... MJ and I got a pink Phillies hat upon going to a Phillies game last week, pleasantly fun experience as MJ seems to have taken to baseball stadiums, it's kind of her concession to me going to art museums with her.
I often wonder if I will be known for anything in this world, and the answer increasingly seems to be no, I won't because I'm just not superlatively good at anything: not the best at dodgeball, not apparently ANY good at chess, know some languages but definitely never going to be the best polyglot in the world, after watching Jeopardy Masters definitely not ever going to be as good as Victoria Groce or Yogesh Raut at trivia, not going to become the best lawyer in the world; I've settled on becoming the best person I can be and the best husband/son/(hopefully one day father)/ friend to the people around me, etc. Donate blood/platelets once in a while (and still not going to become the most prolific blood donor in the world, those people are crazy getting stuck in the arms all the time). But would I bite at the chance to be a specimen for cancer treatment, knowing it might increase the chances of finding a cure for cancer? Yea probably, as long as I don't die from it. I keep having this fantasy of grandeur and making a difference in the world, it might as well be that. But I'm no Henrietta Lacks (nor do I want to be with the unhappiness she dealt with), and thus my life will not be as immortal as hers.
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