Memoir (回忆录, 伝記, 회상록)

 2023 has been the year of reading memoirs for me, apparently. From the highly emotional and influential "Crying in H Mart" by Michelle Zauner to Questlove to Matthew Perry to my most recent, "Governator Arnold Schwarzanegger." I guess my consumption of them comes along with lack of social interaction and hearing about people tell me their stories, so I resort to celebrities to tell me their own hyped-up or self-aggrandizing (in Arnold's case) or self-loathing (in Matthew Perry's case, sadly) or self-justifying (in Amy Schneider's case, more in a sec) but which are nonetheless fascinating reads and character studies. 

Not all memoirs reflect well on the person writing them. I would love to write a memoir about my life (this blog is kinda it) but it would likely show all my flaws, prejudices, and unpopular opinions and bad takes, and while I do get the chance to get my own story out there and try my best to appeal to the reader for sympathy and understanding, that can come off as arrogant and disagreeable anyway. 

Take, for example, Arnold's life story in his own words: it's a 700-page massive tome with a huge picture of his face on it (to be fair, most memoirs of famous people do have their face on it) but NOWHERE in the book can I find anywhere where he says he got lucky, caught some good breaks, or won the genetic lottery/ the game of life lottery. At times it feels like a personal advertisement for his next political or personal life campaign, telling only of the good things he did like sponsoring an education bill for education in California or seeking a ballot intiative for the Califronia people, but of course he did that for political gain in preparation for his running for governor in the 2003 recall election (of then-governor Grey Davis). He meekly admits to an affair with his housekeeper, and even having a secret child with her that he claimed to his then-wife wasn't his, because he was caught publicly having done it, not from the goodness of his heart of coming clean. Of course he just gently slides right over that, devoting a couple pages to it. Also the praising of various celebrities like Dustin Hoffman, Sylvester Stallone, etc. but then just taking a shot at James Cameron for being too controlling. (A sentiment shared by many actors, to be fair). The book served as a reminder that if not for Article II, Section 1 of the Constitution, Arnold might have beat Donald Trump to becoming the latest pompus celebrity president....only the fact he was born in Austria stopped him for running. To think just because you're an actor with a history of success you can become governor or even president, you got to be pretty egotstical, which famous people have developed years of being told only "Yes" and never "No.' 

Speaking of, Rachel Dratch and McCauley Culkin just dominated on the most recent episode of Celebrity Jeopardy, with Rachel winning in the end by pulling out canine infectious tracheobronchitis is "kennel cough" and the classic IHop pancakes and bacon dish is "Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity," further reinforcing the notion that comedians are smart. And McCauley, I though he grew up to be another lame child star....turns out he's a pretty chill guy at least from watching him for an hour on prime time television!  

And unfortunately for Amy Schneider, whose memoir "In the Form of a Question" (kind a expected a more original title, TBH, than the generic Jeopardy-related one. See "Prisoners of Trebikistan" as a catchy one) and whom i really respected and admired during her Jeopardy run, it made me have mixed feelings about her. The book had some of the expected portions like Amy's early life and her previous marriage and how she became so smart/ so good at Jeopardy, but her transformation to transgender rubbed me the wrong way: Amy has been open in that she still likes women, and she admitted to being a little excited to seeing femailes in the dressing room and admiring some of their bodies. That may seem like a pretty innocent thing for someone who truly thinks of themselves as a woman, which I do believe Amy does (I'm sure this post will be later flagged as transphobic now whenever I become famous- yea right), but should her right to be transgender precede other women's privacy in the locker room not to be ogled by any person who likes females? I guess there are lesbians who will be in the locker room who like women's bodies, but that does seem to me to be a little different than someone who transitioned from a man. to be doing it. Not questioning Amy's personal motives for transitioning, but what if someone else saw that as an opportunity to identify as female to get into the women's locker room? Or (as a kind of extreme example by right wing, but similar line of thinking), what if a prisoner identified as female to get into the female prison? Should that one person's right to identify as a certain gender override everyone else in society? Also kind of like the Lia Thomas trans swimmer issue: should she be allowed to compete with women and express herself placing her own needs over others? In both cases I think the reasonable solution is to have a separate category for trans athletes or trans locker rooms ( logistically difficult I know). So I didn't see that as a "win" for Amy on behalf of the transgender community, the more she wrote about that topic the less I was convinced. 

You know whose memoir I'd loved to have read? Princess Diana's, who died at age 36 (my current age!) in 1997 but probably had so many more life experiences (married into the Royal Family, for one) than I had at my age. (My Sundays consist of 3 hours trying to talk up random guys in between chess matches at the lcoal cafe). The Crown Season 6 started up its last season most recently (My dad apparently loves the show and actually asked me if the show was on yet, making me feel like a millenial explaining the new world to my Boomer dad). The show is generally even-handed in regards to coverage of both sides of the Diana v. Charles and Queen Elizabeth conflict, but the last several weeks show Diana somewhat in a negative light, able to manipulate the media into getting what she wants and being openly combative to Charles and Camilla's relationship. I wonder what she'd have to say now....and if the rumors were true that foul play contributed to her death? (Spoiler: we didn't find out and likely will never know for sure). 

Emmanuel Ax

 An interesting way to spell one's last name for Emmanuel Ax, a famous piano player from Ukraine who often shows up onstage with Yoyo Ma and other famous classical musicians. Well he showed up tonight at a concert as the star of the show, and he rocked it. Very few instruments command as much attention as the piano... Ax didn't swing his bow wildly like many violinists MJ and I have seen (Ray Chen) or have anything terribly distinctive, but the Brahms piece just rang out......plus the Schubert Serenade solo he played as an encore. What I noticed tonight, though, like most nights at a classical music concert, is how locked in everyone is for a 2-hour orchestra concert. It's one of the most polite audiences in the world: a classical music concert. Everyone applauds furiously when the conductor and even the first violinist steps onto the stage indicating the beginning of the concert, and then everyone dutily SHUTS UP. And they look at the screen unflinchingly, without getting distracted in an era of cell phones and online connectivty. I looked around the hall and everyone had their eyes pointed directly ahead......except for one guy in the rear orchestra seating who fell asleep of course, in full view of everyone else (good reason never to sit there). Everyone even had the presence of mind to cover their coughs and sneezes and everything else until after the piece ended, or at least between movements in between a piece. Remarkable discipline, one of the only places in the world now you can get that in public places: airplanes, buses, subways, restaurants: there's always someone doing something objectionable, or weird, or socially unacceptable, and MJ will surely catch it. Even in movie theaters there's always one or two bad apples making comments or being loud ruining it for everyone, or museums where someone's standing too close to the art, touching the art, or letting kids run around a Richard Serra maze-like sculpture. They save the standing for the standing ovation at the end, which was reciprocated today by Ax giving the above-mentioned encor performance. I was impressed and proud of the classical music crowd, a crowd I've grown up with and learned to appreciate. 

I may have been impressed also by the Chinese food I had during intermission; for some reason the local Chinese restaurant MJ and I have always desired but it's on the other side of town from us was hosting a food event at the concert hall and had food for sale later, and it's the only time ever MJ and I had Mapo Tofu and Veggie spring rolls, or any other kind of Chinese food, at a music concert. I guess I'm easily impressed, and the mapo tofu was good. 

I sure do wish Emmanuel Ax will come up on a Jeopardy question one day: I now have the 74-year-old man imprinted in my mind. I find that I do well with names of people because usually I associate them with a specific thing or accomplishment, or I connect them to a picture, and the visual image helps me remember better (although I still have trouble remembering the names of people I meet at a party). The names of specific tools, objects, furniture, rooms in a house, cheeses, clothing items, and other commonplace items though.....I have a really tough time remembering and inherently knowing, because I grew up in a household of Chinese people who didn't use those terms for any of the commonplace items around me! (convenient excuse, but it is a reason). Today I had a hard time in Celebrity Jeopardy! (the easiest version of Jeopardy!) coming up with a fulcrum that could be used as a bar to lift a car (answer: lever) or the type of Dutch cheese that looks like a wheel and has a red band around it (Gouda). I really need to know what stuff are called. 

Taylor Swift (泰勒斯威夫特, テイラー・スウィフト, 테일러 스위프트)

 Nothing makes me feel old more than spending a day with my sister, who's part of another generation apparently even though she's just 9.5 years younger than me. She has multiple tattoos, is into the most recent social media news, supports Palestine 100% in the most recent Gaza conflict, still keeps in contact with her college friends, and has the very 1970's attitude of "don't trust anyone over 30." (Wonder what happens when she turns 30? She doesn't trust herself anymore?) The most noticeable thing she does that separates her from me most clearly, though, is her undying love for Taylor Swift. 

Have you heard of Taylor Swift? She's only anywhere and everywhere you look. I looked up her name in different languages, and yup, she's famous enough to have a specific translation in all the key languages. International superstar who is probably more the face of America than anyone in America rigth now, including Joe Biden, Donald Trump, Elon Musk, and a host of other candidates. She played "kingmaker" to Travis Kelce, a formally successful tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs but unknown outside of the sports world, who has suddenly become the most famous famous sports star in teh world and transcnding sports by dating Taylor and having her show up to the games. Football fans have been complaining that the telecasts featuring the Chiefs cut to Taylor in her box seats more than the game itself. Superlative, superlative, superltive, Taylor has lived up to all those superlatives. 

My sister went to watch the Eras Tour concert film today in theaters; I abstained from spending time in the theater, but on Netflix I'm watching the Renaissance Tour concert film from 2018 (before her mega-mega-star status, when was just a mega-star). 

1.) Some questions: How does she not sweat through all her outfits and makeup after dancing so actively? She really gives it all in her performances, but she looks fresh the whole way through 3 hours of concert action...she has costume changes, sure, but I'd be sweating my ass off........it's not like she has a private shower backstage. Magic. 

2.) She's 33 turning 34 in December. Are Taylor and Travis going to make a baby soon? That baby will likely be the most discussed baby in the history of the world, eclipsing Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's babies, Kim Kardashian's babies, the Jon + Kate babies, the Octomom babies, Baby Jesus, etc. 

3.) Does she write all of her own songs? If so, she's the Moazart of her generation, a virtuoso who generates hit after hit after hit, where she played 30+ songs during her live performances but people like my sister still got "super salty" (yes, that word makes me feel old too) that she didn't include certain songs out of the 100+ hit songs she's ever had. 

4.) If Taylor ever performed at the halftime show for a Super Bowl, it migth be the most watched event ever, not just of Super Bowls. She definitely has the stage presence for it, and her shows have the entertainment quality for it, with massive props (like giant snakes, drummers baging on gong drums, half-naked dancers (both men and women), strobe lights, etc., etc.) I have to say she'd probably be better than pregnant Rihanna in the last halftime performance (unpopular opinion I guess). 

5.) I've never been to a Swiftie concert of course, but I imagine that watching it from home in the comfrot of my own couch and big-screen TV is a more pleasant experience than paying upwards of 4-digit prices (per ticket!) to go to a stadium to sit in the nosebleeds, wearing adult diapers (apparently fans this summer reported wearing them to not take bathroom breaks so they didn't miss a thing). It's just like UFC events, any sports events, really: you get to see more not going live. This is the old geezer Bobby Yan talking though: the film had close-up shots of fans who were pleased as punch, screaming their heads off when Taylor came onstage for the first time, shedding tears throughout the performance and when Taylor was speaking, holding up lights while the lights went dark, and I'm sure shouting the lyrics of the songs as Taylor was singing throughout along with 50,000 other screaming fans. Sounds stressful for me; heaven for others. 

6.) She has very quotable lyrics and catch phrases, like "Shake it off, shake it off." Also "Cruel Summer" (also title of a different song by Bananarama, "You Belong with Me." "I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22." (For me, it's soon to be I'm feeling 42). And of course, the one I say to my sister everytime I see her: "I knew you were trouble when you walked in....." surprised that one hasn't made it into the cultural zeitgeist: it's a classic. 

MJ and I just want to go see U2 in Las Vegas's new Sphere theater, Achtung Baby Live. 

Bradycardia (心动过缓, 徐脈, 서맥)

 Bradycardia is a term for a slow heartbeat, a term I recently learned from an episode of Jeopardy but also from my intermittent viewing of the Good Doctor, a series that's not really available on any of the streaming services I've ever subscribed to (Hulu, Netflix, HBO) but is curiously readily available on the Southwest WiFi system. That's pretty much how I learn stuff these days: it comes up on Jeopardy, I forget about that term because it's new and I haven't developed an interest in it yet, but then it shows up in another medium in a memorable way (in this case, Freddy Highmore's character Sean, a surgeon at San Jose Hospital, is rushing a 10-year-old patient to the ER explaining her syptoms including slow heart beat aka bradycardia), and now I've mastered that term hopefully forever. Also I created the image in my mind of a Tom Brady-like heart being slow, which the New England Patriots QB was famous for, solidifed it for me. Also tachycardia is a irregulary fast heartbeat- helps to know sets of opposite-meaning words, like hyper (over) vs. hypo (under). 

The Good Doctor pairs nicely with the Korean drama MJ and I have been watching recently, detailing the lives of nurses and doctors at a psychiatric hospital in Korea. It has plenty of interesting elements like treatment of patients, the causes of patients' trama and symptoms to look out for, scientific terms originating in Latin then to English then turned into Korean, but it also includes an element of every medical drama I've ever seen has to have: the dynamic between doctors and nurses. It's inescapable, like the "chicken-or-the egg" dilemma except for hospitals, or more like Batman and Robin. Doctors are supposed to be the more advanced level, or at least have received more schooling than nurses, but they often overplay their degree and disrespect nurses, often criticizing them and not listening to nurses (at least, according to the Good Doctor). I may be biased because MJ is a nurse and she reports plenty of drama about doctors who don't know anything or are too arrogant or are not responsive to nurses' advice, but it seems to me doctors need to value the nurses they work with more, even in situations where the doctor is the direct supervisor. Just because someone obtained the necessary qualifications for becoming a doctor, doesn't mean he or she is a good doctor (pardon the pun), I often say there are plenty of lawyers who became lawyers who shouldn't have, and to go further with that, some doctors should not be supervising others. Supervision in itself is a totally different role than being a doctor, so a lot of doctors are not fit for supervising others, despite having to play that role at the hospital. Conversely, just because nurses don't have the necessary qualifications for being a doctor doesn't mean they aren't just as knowledgeable about certain aspects of a patient's treatment. 

MJ is currently working for a doctor who pushes MJ and other members of the "team" around without regard for MJ's well-being and quality of life, and it's really disappointing; the doctor has even threatened in not-so-subtle messages that if "the team" doesn't perform well enough to gather patients for a study that there's not enough money for MJ to get paid her salary. (The doctor uses team to her advantage when it suits her to boss people around but not when it comes to not paying out people's salary or other disadvantageous situations). An unethical move to threaten people's livelihood and salary if they don't meet a certain level of performance and depending on the situation and employee contract, not a kosher way legally for a boss to incentive her employees. Doctors like that really bring down the whole profession and further make me realize I shouldn't be looking at real doctors (I can trust Freddy Highmore!) with rose-tinted glasses and assume they know best about everything. They don't, not even about medical issues, but definitely not about how to be a good boss and supervise others. 

Rant (on behalf of MJ) over. 

Nyad

 "naiad" or "nyad" in Greek means water nymph, a recurring theme in the movie I watched on a whim today about Diana Nyad, the famous swimmer who swam from Cuba to Florida, 110 miles through the gulf stream and shark-infested Caribbean waters. I'd only know her name through Jeopardy clues over the years, as trivia circles like "first ever person to" accomplishments and adventures that had a lot national buzz, and apparently it was a huge buzz in 2013 that Nyad accomplished this feat......at 64 years old! (Where was I when this story broke? For many years of my life I just completely tuned out the news and current events, apparently, or just completely dislodged this story from my brain). 2013....I vaguely remember Batkid, Edward Snowden, the Boston Marathan bombing......yup, that's about it. I was barely part of this world participating in its daily events. 

But yes the story of Diana Nyad is actually one of perserverance and various failures and believing that one is never too old to do something......we're a society that incentives being young and accomplishments...I always envied the Forbes "30 Under 30" editions and "College Students making a difference," especially after I had passed those ages/milestones and hadn't accomplished what those people had. So for a swimmer to come back after 30 years from her last attempt to cross from Cuba to Florida is really a pretty significant feat, a reminder for us that as the movie says, "a diamond is just a lump of coal that stuck with it." (I believe the actual quote from Henry Kissinger is "a diamond is just a lump of coal that did well under pressure,") but both apply as inspirational messages. I appreciate those stories about perseverance and personal accomplishment that also highlight the trials and tribulations that it took to get there, the toll that it took to get there. Too often nowadays I see people wanting to get famous or get rich with the easy route, like snapping your fingers and turning into a millionaire (for a crazy story about how making crazy amounts of money insanely quickly, read "Going Infinite" by Michael Lewis about Sam Bankman Fried, who was just convicted of criminal fraud this week and will be spending quite a lot of time in jail now), and the grind-it-out determination and grid and "10,000 hours" gets overlooked as part of that process of accomplishment something great. Diana Nyad apparently had to fend off sharks, cold water, violent waves, and jellyfish attacks while swimming the 110 miles (doesn't feel like a lot for walking, running, or driving.....but swimming? I don't think I've swum even half a mile consecutively my whole life). Just the logistics of getting a boat to be by her side monitoring, having to refuel with food every few hours (because she's burning so many calories every hour), keeping her head above water, keeping an even pace (apparently a lot of Beatles songs helped set the beat), not suffering any diseases, darkness, and just the fact of being 64 years old! My dad stopped playing tennis with me around age 60 because he couldn't run anymore, my mom had issues with her kidneys at 64, and both just go on long walks now. 

I met a guy today at chess club who mentioned during our brief conversation between games (yes chess players talk, not just bury their heads into the chess game) that he was locked up for awhile and played chess there- I should mention this gentleman was not Sam Bankman Fried. I did a double take at first, hopefully not rudely, but recovered quickly and kept the conversation about chess, but it was certainly unexpected information: here was a guy around my age who was talking to me normally and seemed pretty friendly, nothing out of place, who had just revealed to me he had spent time in prison. Talk about a big setback in life; but he got through it and is rediscovering his life, partly through chess. Him and Diana Nyad remind me that there are people suffering much bigger setbacks than I have the last few years (not getting on Jeopardy, not having a baby yet), and I really haven's suffered real loss that compares to spending one's whole life dedicated to trying to accomplish a single goal of crossing Cuba to Florida, but then not completing it three times in 2 years (like Diana Nyad had in 2011 and 2012 before she finally made it in 2013) and feeling life slip away as one just gets another year older wondering if I'm ever going to reach my goal. 

The Big, Terrible Thing

 Over Halloween weekend, an actor most poeple of my generation know intimately passed away: Matthew Perry, who played Chandler "Muriel" (I saw a trivia question asking about his middle name) Bing on friends. Not Matthew Calbraith Perry who fought in the War of 1812 and opened Japan's doors to foreign trade, the funny Matthew Perry who was apparently originally from Canada where he was pretty good at tennis for a Canadian, but it turns out a country that sends all its best athletes into hockey and winter sports doesn't have too many great tennis stars. I know all this about Matthew Perry because immediately after his passing I put Matthew Perry's memoir "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing" on hold at the public library, hoping I'd be the first one to get the news and think to check out his memoir which just came out last year. Is this a faux pas to do? I felt just a tiny bit guilty about trying to "beat the crowds" to get at a recently dead man's book, like I was capitalizing on his death like buying art right before an artist is about to die. 

I don't usually like to read celebrities' books because I don't like putting famous people on a pedestool (see many previous entries on this blog) but I wanted to read what most people were interested in: the stories about drugs. It's like when people bought Bill Clinton's first book after his presidency called "My Life": they all wanted to see what he had to say about Monica Lewinsky. I wasn't reading it to spite Matthew Perry or anything: I generally wanted to see how a seemingly good guy can just let drugs and alcohol spiral out of control and get addicted so many times, go through rehab so many times, only to relapse and get back on it. When I was a kid I always thought that only bad people were addicted to drugs and took to the streets; as an adult I realize it's not that simple. Apparently Perry was a colicky baby so he was fed barbiturates as a newborn baby to get him to calm down....that seems unhealthy and starting off life on the right foot. Kind of reminds me of how lucky I got to not be pre-trained to have a disposition towards drugs, or be in an environment growing up of drug use, or have that much of an addictive personality. Perry apparently had all of those, and as much as I wanted to point out holes in his story about blaming addiction like "HA! You had a choice! Don't just blame it on drugs!" I couldn't help but wonder if there are good people who just can't control themselves. Perry says that "he can only control the first sip of alcohol...." once he's had one, he's going to have them all. Fatalistic catchphrases like "you take the first drink of alcohol, but then the alcohol drinks you..." or something like that. 

Especially now with really lethal substances in street drugs (aka fentanyl) and opiates, it is SO DANGEROUS to do drugs (although Perry apparently did not have meth or fentanyl in his system and his death is being called a drowning so far)... it is literally life and death. Perry called the drugs and alcohol in a lethal combination the "Big, Terrible Thing," aptly named because it really is like an invisible demon you carry inside you that makes you a zombie (I've been hearing a lot of people call San Francisco the scene of the zombie apocalypse because of the drug users, and from the little time I spent there in 2018 that I've hard the 2023 version is a lot worse, I'd have to agree) that can focus on nothing else but brains......... I do think those drugs do rewire one's brain so that you only get stimulated by those drugs... the drugs just take over all of the impulses and instincts that a brain normally would do. That's what I always say, you can get hurt playing sports or other body parts, but you gotta protect the brain, from the outside (skull) and inside (drugs). Such a shame, I had a good time reading Perry's book, I recognized a lot of the comedic timing and writing that made Friends gold (Perry apparently pitched a lot of jokes for the show); it's too bad there won't be any more of his work. Just 54 years old; I would be distrought if I knew right now I'd live to 54, and he died without any children, which he laments throughout various parts of the book, one of the greatest joys in life sacrificed mainly because he couldn't settle down due to drugs, even a guy as successful as Matthew "Chandler Bing" Perry. Really is a big, terrible thing.