I'm On a Boat

 It's a rite of passage for people of my generation..... at some point in our early adulthood, whether it's a reference from a co-worker, a social group, a family member; somebody, somewhere will turn your attention to the "I'm On a Boat" song by T-pain and Andy Samberg. The song has no artistic quality whatsoever, in fact what's more eye-catching is the music video that accompanies the song, full of over-the-top scenes of Samberg and friends on a boat having a all of a time, everything from flipping burgers to wearing black-tie only to helicopters above a boat, the song namedrops Kevin Garnett and Poseidon within seconds of each other....oh and a liberal use of F-bombs. It totally glorifies being on a boat, and it's a super-catchy song, like the "I'm a Barbie Girl" song or any summer song that just sticks in your head to be summoned over and over again (MJ told me that Kate Bush's "Running Up that Hill" was stuck in her head recently, and she hasn't even watched Season 4 of Stranger Things!) 

"I'm On a Boat" is the sentiment that a lot of Americans seem to embrace on July 4 weekend, maybe the whole conglomeration of being American, being free, hot summer days where you can wear almost nothing, cold beers under the hot sun (I have to admit, I don't drink much, but walking by a bunch of dudes drinking Coronoas outside on a porch made me want to have a beer too the other day), be on a body of water, and most importantly.....be on a boat. I've never seen anything like the amount of self-control that Americans lose when they get on a boat in summertime, like they flip a switch from the real world of cautious risk aversion to no-holds-barred recklessness on a boat, like something on a boat just screams "PARTY!" Some boaters that MJ and I passed today on the Potomac River near the Georgetown area didn't even need to be moving; they were docked, essentially on land, and still having the time of their lives, cranking up Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me" to maximum volume. 

For me, my experiences on a boat have been infrequent and lasting short amounts of time. I can handle larger boats where the waves don't have much effect on the boat, but anything smaller than a cruise ship dreamliner gets me worried about rocking and my experiences with whale watching, private yachting, and pretty much any kind of boat. Canoes and kayaks are fine, it's just specially these "I'm On a Boat" type of boats that make me want to dive into the water and swim shortly after setting off. So no, booze and alcohol would not help the situation on a boat. 

I do, however, get the appeal of being on a boat on a destination to somewhere, for example sailing down the Danube River, one of the best trips one can take, just ask Johann Strauss in the Blue Danube.... rivers are a great way to see the best parts of a region, cities are typically built near rivers. I have heard that watching fireworks on July 4 in places like Chicago, D.C. and New York are delightful... I'm all for using boats as a ways to sight see.....but I'm totally against celebrating the mere fact of being on a boat.