Neighbors (邻居, 隣人, 이웃)

 Part of growing up is realizing what impressions we had of things as a child were total fantasies, exaggerations, or untruths, like the allure of Disneyworld or the sweetness of sodas (they're arficially sweet and bad for you!), and also neighbors. I grew up with this idealized version of neighbors from reading Dr. Seuss books and watching shows like Home Improvement (where Tim the Toolman Taylor talks through a fence to the faceless but sage advice-giving neighbor Wilson). My parents always had pretty good neighbors growing up in suburban Chicago, where I would see them leaving their driveways and say hi.....it was the Midwest in a nice neighborhood. 

Not all neighbors are nice, and like the general population, there are some good ones, some not-so-good-ones, and some downright nightmare neighbors. Neighbors are like umpires: If they're doing their job, you don't notice them. As I write this my upstairs neighbor is stomping around in his/her unit (I've never seen my neighbor ever since I moved in during the pandemic) and making incredible noise through our ceiling so that I can feel the pounding of his steps in my heartbeat, like a steady drumbeat traveling through the walls. There are also occasional sounds of tables being dragged across the floor, furniture moving, chairs scraping, but mostly it's these loud footsteps that cause the most distress, more to MJ but even to me, the more tolerant one. It's become a problem, but in today's society we don't meet our neighbors ever: people barely look at me when I'm in the elevator with them, unless I do my best to initiate some sort of conversation. So how do I deal with this ruckus- causing faceless and nameless neighbo whom I've never met? I've decided to write them a note and ask nicely first. 

Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but for some reason I feel like it used to be the standard thing to do upon moving in to introduce oneself to neighbors by knocking on the door and saying Hi, or when bumping into them just start a conversation, just in case some common problem occurred and we needed each other's help, like if I locked myself out of my apartment or something. I actually did that when I was in college and starting law school.......it was not met with very warm responses. I guess I was naive then, but it does seem emblematic of today's society of being online and social media to actually get farther away from those people who are closer in physical proximity to us; seems counterintuitive. By making everyone around the world closer each other, we've pushed the people closest to us further away. 

Maybe I'm causing distress to my downstairs neighbors as well, but I doubt it: MJ has these magic slippers she has me wear to control the thuds of "heavy steps." I am a big fan of the Korean standards for being a good neighbor: Be as quiet and as considerate as possible. Hopefully Mr. Upstairs will reciprocate in kind.