My wife MJ is better than me at many things, but one of them, at least recently, is being able to study for long periods of time, in the same position, at the same table, looking at the same materials, for the better half of the day or all day. I'll call her at different times of the day, and it seems like she's always at home, with the same background (we do Google Facetime calls which are very immersive and allow me to feel close to her) and same music playing. It's a very important quality to have in today's day and age.
I, on the other hand, have lost my ability to concentrate. One of the only things I can do continuously is to play dodgeball: I put down my phone, don't look at it for at least an hour, and just enjoy the game and focusing on one activity. Otherwise, though, I'm a mess. From the moment I open my eyes to when I close them, there's just so much I try to pack into the day, and so many things I try to do that I get them crossed up and try to do too many things at once. The iPhone doesn't help; there's so many things I CAN do with just a tap of a button (or a few buttons and a swipe) that I barely get started on one task before moving on to the next. I often find myself unsatisfied with what I'm doing in the present moment and want to move on to the next activity, stimulating myself with the new information/ stimulus. It's toxic, and I look back at the end of the day and evaluate how much I've done: I've tried to do 20 different things, but none of them well, thus making it a less productive day than if I'd just focused on 2 or 3 things.
Last week's stock market didn't help. They say that the stock market goes up like an escalator (gradually) but goes down like an elevator (sudden spike down, free fall), and nothing personified that more than this week's selling, where 6 straight sessions including last Friday cancelled out 6 months of gains in the market. Basically, all the gains I had accumulated for 6 months (since October of last year) just went poof in a week, which feels a bit like someone taking the money I'd earned on a job for 6 months (it's not like that because the stock market is inherently risky, but psychologically I do feel similar to this). The market reacted strongly negatively to the latest coronavirus news (of it spreading to many other countries than just China, even the US is in the crosshairs), and the market quickly tanked, with the Dow futures already down 1000 points before the market even opened on Monday morning (not a good way to start the week, but it would only get worse). Every attempt by the market to rally back a bit was sold ruthlessly, and if anything the clawback rallies accelerated the selling as the sellers used the little burst of higher prices to sell off even faster. To make matters worse than just money, I was not productive at all the whole week, forcing myself to go into "save my portfolio mode" by waking up at 6:30AM PST before the market to try to "salvage" some money, only to find my best efforts were probably minimal, short of selling my whole portfolio. In short, I really don't think waking up early helps me save any, it just forces me to watch the next tick and wait anxiously for more information, making me get right into the jumpy attention-shifting mode all day. The dips in the market make me feel like I'm losing money all the time (which I kinda was) and for those 6.5 hours the market is open it's like torture, making myself check and check over and over again, switching my attention to what I was doing to market news. Not a healthy habit, but very typical of today's culture of short attention span.
Maybe in 20 years, similar to the tobacco industry, scientific research will find that smartphones and social media are detriments to the health of human beings, with long term damage done to the brain of not being able to concentrate, which could be worse than the cancer and other physical damage caused by cigarettes and nicotine. For me and the rest of my generation, we just have to moderate ourselves and self-regulate to reduce the distractions. I think one key thing is how you start the day: read a book, read a newspaper, allow your brain to get into a pattern of focusing on something and feed it healthy stuff, and stay off the smartphone for just a bit. And DON'T touch your smartphone while you're driving. I made a stock trade in the car and instantly regretted it. Whatever it is, it can wait! Put on the radio or a podcast that lasts the length of time you need to get to your destination. Driving can actually be a cure for short attention span!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Saturday, February 29, 2020
Wednesday, February 26, 2020
Shark (상어, サメ, 鲨鱼, Hiu)
So many things going on in the world like a global health crisis spreading to new countries by the day, the Bernie Sanders "Feel the Bern" campaign taking over the Democratic party, Sprint and T-Mobile merger finally happening, the Tokyo Summer Olympics possibly being canceled in what would be an unprecedented move, but ere I am only thinking about sharks. The Chinese word for shark, by the way, is one I've never had to write out and always thought was "killer fish," which is part of the reason I've always associated them with brutality and savage tendencies, but apparently the word is a combination of sand and fish. Hmm.
Sharks are fascinating creatures and probably has the widest range of villain-hero perceptions in common culture. It's known for shark attacks at various beaches in the US during the summer, so much so that there's a "shark week" every year on the Discovery Channel, there's "Jaws," but then there's the cuteness angle with the "Baby Shark" song that's spreading throughout the world with the notable YouTube video being that of people in Turkey singing the song to a baby to calm him during a traffic jam. MJ had a phone cover case in the shape of a shark that strangers and friends alike commented on and gave a thumbs up to, there was the Left Shark dancer at the Super Bowl halftime show with Katy Perry, and our dodgeball team even had a Shark Halloween theme one year. Most animals usually tilt one way towards being a hero/underdog (see gorillas, pandas, cubs, dogs, mice, small birds, chipmunks) or are strictly villainous (snakes, vultures, hyenas, etc.)
Sharks may be on my mind due to the recent surge of warmth in L.A., reminding all Angelenos that summer's never that far away in Southern California and can start essentially any time. It also makes me long for spending long summer days and nights on a tropical island, with waves washing ashore and brilliant sunrises and sunsets fading into the cool summer night. MJ loves urban locations, as do I......most of the time. But something about the isolation and being at one with nature is alluring about an outdoor barren paradise is primitive for humans, until I realize there'd be no or limited cell phone service, and probably little contact with other humans. I've become a very noncommunicative human recently, going to work, sitting at my work, doing a brief lunch run, and then coming back from work, barely talking to anyone in the process. Forget speaking other languages to work on conversational skills, I don't even speak English to people anymore. It does take a toll on my psyche and overall urge to want to speak to other human beings, as human animals.
And that's kind of why Survivor is so fascinating, as it has been for 40 seasons (Yes, inevitably as Survivor expected I, like many other Survivor fans, just had to tune into this latest all-winners season, even though I'm a little jealous and snarky that some of these players have gotten 4 or 5 chances to win 1 million dollars and keep getting more chances the more and more they're on, in a neverending cycle, and one will win an additional $2 million on top of the $1 million they've already won at the end of this season for essentially being on a TV show and living their lifelong dream of being on Survivor, once again). Incidentally, in the latest episode there was a shark getting trapped in a trap set by Sandra who gets viciously dragged out by Tony, and I felt for that shark.......just minding its own business, trying to navigate the ocean that is life, and then as fate would have it being forced to become lunch for human beings that just came onto the island to film a TV show and to try to win money. Anyway, my point about Survivor is it's a game of human interactions and communication and trust, played on a stage where normally there would be no humans, or where there might be one human stranded and cut off for civilization.....but instead on these islands very human things like greed, betrayal, trust, deceit, and conquest happen. Quite a show, and I've been sucked in for 20 years.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Sharks are fascinating creatures and probably has the widest range of villain-hero perceptions in common culture. It's known for shark attacks at various beaches in the US during the summer, so much so that there's a "shark week" every year on the Discovery Channel, there's "Jaws," but then there's the cuteness angle with the "Baby Shark" song that's spreading throughout the world with the notable YouTube video being that of people in Turkey singing the song to a baby to calm him during a traffic jam. MJ had a phone cover case in the shape of a shark that strangers and friends alike commented on and gave a thumbs up to, there was the Left Shark dancer at the Super Bowl halftime show with Katy Perry, and our dodgeball team even had a Shark Halloween theme one year. Most animals usually tilt one way towards being a hero/underdog (see gorillas, pandas, cubs, dogs, mice, small birds, chipmunks) or are strictly villainous (snakes, vultures, hyenas, etc.)
Sharks may be on my mind due to the recent surge of warmth in L.A., reminding all Angelenos that summer's never that far away in Southern California and can start essentially any time. It also makes me long for spending long summer days and nights on a tropical island, with waves washing ashore and brilliant sunrises and sunsets fading into the cool summer night. MJ loves urban locations, as do I......most of the time. But something about the isolation and being at one with nature is alluring about an outdoor barren paradise is primitive for humans, until I realize there'd be no or limited cell phone service, and probably little contact with other humans. I've become a very noncommunicative human recently, going to work, sitting at my work, doing a brief lunch run, and then coming back from work, barely talking to anyone in the process. Forget speaking other languages to work on conversational skills, I don't even speak English to people anymore. It does take a toll on my psyche and overall urge to want to speak to other human beings, as human animals.
And that's kind of why Survivor is so fascinating, as it has been for 40 seasons (Yes, inevitably as Survivor expected I, like many other Survivor fans, just had to tune into this latest all-winners season, even though I'm a little jealous and snarky that some of these players have gotten 4 or 5 chances to win 1 million dollars and keep getting more chances the more and more they're on, in a neverending cycle, and one will win an additional $2 million on top of the $1 million they've already won at the end of this season for essentially being on a TV show and living their lifelong dream of being on Survivor, once again). Incidentally, in the latest episode there was a shark getting trapped in a trap set by Sandra who gets viciously dragged out by Tony, and I felt for that shark.......just minding its own business, trying to navigate the ocean that is life, and then as fate would have it being forced to become lunch for human beings that just came onto the island to film a TV show and to try to win money. Anyway, my point about Survivor is it's a game of human interactions and communication and trust, played on a stage where normally there would be no humans, or where there might be one human stranded and cut off for civilization.....but instead on these islands very human things like greed, betrayal, trust, deceit, and conquest happen. Quite a show, and I've been sucked in for 20 years.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Saturday, February 22, 2020
DTLA - Downtown LA (市中心, 市中心, 다운 타운)
On a temperate Friday afternoon in bright and sunny Downtown yesterday, I got off work early and took the opportunity to run around DTLA, and reflected on how different it is from other downtowns around the world.
I've lived around New York downtown (and Uptown), Washington DC downtown, Chicago downtown, San Francisco downtown, and they're all prominent attractions for tourists and usually brimming with tourists. Manhattan is one of the most dense spaces on Earth and has Central Park, Wall Street, Empire State Building, and miles and miles of cultural destinations, DC has the White House and National Mall, San Francisco is right around the Bay and offers great views, and Chicago has the Chicago River and Lake Shore Drive running through it that claims the best properties. I'd say the No. 1 destination if I were visiting those cities for the first time would be downtown.
Not Los Angeles. DTLA is not built around the ocean, not built on the mountains, no river running through it......it's actually interesting why downtown LA was built where it is. (My friend Nathan is a historian/ librarian/TV host hosts a TV show called "Lost in LA" about this very topic); tourists would much rather visit Santa Monica, Beverly Hills, and Hollywood before venturing to DTLA. In fact, when I first moved to LA more than 10 years ago downtown was sort of a ghost town where people went to work and left after the day ended, going home to nicer areas. Even as an urban center some might prefer to work in Century City or Santa Monica.
The lack of tourists and acclaim, however, actually makes running through DTLA nice.......there's not that many people who take the route I do, whether it's through the Walt Disney Hall area or the newly built Los Angeles State Historic Park next to Chinatown, or a trek to Union Station.......they're all nicely built areas with fountains and decoratively arranged flowers, architectural masterpieces.....just without the mass amounts of people stampeding all over it. Like in New York City, I'll see flocks of people running the same running path that I do. In DTLA, I'm a lone wolf. Dodger Stadium is a little ways away from DTLA but actually reachable by foot; one day I imagine there will be some sort of easy subway line or tram that transports people from downtown to the stadium.
Certainly parts of DTLA are hilly, so it might require climbing up or down some stairs, which I appreciate. Sometimes you might have to cross through a building or two, through the Los Angeles Public Library, for example, to get where you want to go, a sort of zig zag path of loops and turns. Not a straight, clearly marked path for runners to know exactly how far they're running and where to. Which is part of the intrigue for me: climbing up a 50-step flight of stairs, for example, isn't exactly normal, but it changes the view dramatically and gets you to another area of the city, as if teleporting to one area but also traveling through time from one era of older buildings to the modern skyscrapers. There are vestiges of tunnels and overpasses over the roads that were probably illusions of grandeur of a larger city walk above the city which are probably underutilized (but I love them!) and iconic areas that one can see used in films like "Heat," or in the upcoming third season of Westworld. I often see new TV shows and commercials shooting too, especially on clear days or dark nights. It's really a unique downtown that I've had the privilege of working in and exploring (and really looking through every nook and cranny). Even better, it's still expanding! With the gargantuan Wilshire Grand Building opening a few years ago, downtown's attracting even more innovation and development. Like a kid growing up year after year from infancy, every time I come back to work in DTLA I see newly developing features and potential of things to come.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Wednesday, February 19, 2020
Motion Sickness (晕车, 乗り物酔い, 멀 미) Wh
Ever since birth, I have been extremely, extremely blessed to be a very healthy person: no long-term illnesses, no debilitating injuries, and even when I get the common cold or a stomachache it goes away pretty quickly, to the extent I fantasize about being like Wolverine from X-Men: a superhuman ability to heal. I wouldn't trade my internal health with anyone else. There are, however, some weaknesses of my body: 1.) my skin, which I've discussed previously, 2.) my eyes are non-symmetrical (one eye is bigger than the other, 3.) I used to get nosebleeds a lot when I was a kid, but in retrospect may have been caused by not eating enough vegetables or balanced diets, and 4.) a big one, I get motion sickness a lot on cars, boats, etc. In fact, my most vivid memory of arriving in America for the first time on 12/13/1991, Friday the 13th, was not my parents greeting me at the airport, was not landing at O'Hare Airport, was not driving back to our shabby apartment in a poor neighborhood in Chicago, but was puking thoroughly on the way back from the airport in my parents' car. That was the beginning of my bouts with motion sickness that's turned into a lifelong crusade. I've felt sick on boats to the point where I avoid getting on any ships or boats smaller than a cruise line due to the rockiness of the boat, I'm OK on planes generally except on pretty turbulent flights, and I especially can't handle being in other people's car on curvy mountain roads while not having consumed enough food.
And that's where I found myself on Monday morning after the Big Bear weekend with my friends, taking the bus back from Big Bear down to Los Angeles to work on President's Day. The road back from Big Bear is scenic with great views of Big Bear Lake and the ski slopes, but it becomes treacherously curvy and windy as to comes down from the San Bernardino mountains. Motion sickness starts for me just as a slight headache, but as I'm thrown around in the back of a vehicle while the vehicle shifts from left to right leaning into curves down the mountain, I feel the headache travel from head to stomach to pretty much the whole body, an out of body experience. I try to close my eyes, but that doesn't stop the sensation of the wild movements from making me want to puke. I berate myself for forgetting that I suffer from this condition and not taking necessary precautions to avoid being in the position that I was in. I most distinctly felt trapped, trapped inside a moving vehicle that was many miles and many curves and twists away from its desired destination with a driver who felt no sympathy for my condition and no gauge of how much motion sickness he was causing, trapped upon a mountain that I needed to descend to where I got to, and trapped in a car with no food to balance out my body chemistry to prevent a severe reaction to the motion sickness. Although, I also wondered if it was better that I didn't have any food to throw up. I couldn't fall asleep and I didn't have any energy to study anything on my phone, so it was also unproductive; just trapped in this motion sickness world that I couldn't escape from, just endure until the wild ride was over and hopefully remind myself (maybe through the blog) never too be in the same situation again. Back on solid ground is where I like to be.
Motion sickness, I bow to your greatness and omnipresence in my life. May we never meet again!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
And that's where I found myself on Monday morning after the Big Bear weekend with my friends, taking the bus back from Big Bear down to Los Angeles to work on President's Day. The road back from Big Bear is scenic with great views of Big Bear Lake and the ski slopes, but it becomes treacherously curvy and windy as to comes down from the San Bernardino mountains. Motion sickness starts for me just as a slight headache, but as I'm thrown around in the back of a vehicle while the vehicle shifts from left to right leaning into curves down the mountain, I feel the headache travel from head to stomach to pretty much the whole body, an out of body experience. I try to close my eyes, but that doesn't stop the sensation of the wild movements from making me want to puke. I berate myself for forgetting that I suffer from this condition and not taking necessary precautions to avoid being in the position that I was in. I most distinctly felt trapped, trapped inside a moving vehicle that was many miles and many curves and twists away from its desired destination with a driver who felt no sympathy for my condition and no gauge of how much motion sickness he was causing, trapped upon a mountain that I needed to descend to where I got to, and trapped in a car with no food to balance out my body chemistry to prevent a severe reaction to the motion sickness. Although, I also wondered if it was better that I didn't have any food to throw up. I couldn't fall asleep and I didn't have any energy to study anything on my phone, so it was also unproductive; just trapped in this motion sickness world that I couldn't escape from, just endure until the wild ride was over and hopefully remind myself (maybe through the blog) never too be in the same situation again. Back on solid ground is where I like to be.
Motion sickness, I bow to your greatness and omnipresence in my life. May we never meet again!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Tuesday, February 18, 2020
Manna from Heaven (渡りに船)
The Japanese have a phrase similar to "lifesaver" or "manna from heaven" of a boat that arrives just in time, similar to the origin of "manna from heaven" (I didn't know about this before today), the Biblical story of God arriving miraculously to give the Israelites food as they wandered in the wilderness. It could also be a financial windfall, or any sort of gift, but usually it's a gift given when someone is in some trouble, or desperately needs some help in some way and the gift would make a huge difference in their lives.
Today, after a brief period of speculation and foreboding, my work project was extended for a couple more weeks (estimated), allowing me to have more work to do for now. In my line of work, projects come and go, so once I'm no longer needed, I move on from the project and no longer work for that client/law firm, moving on to another law firm/project that needs me for my foreign language skills. It's not as steady as a normal job, but it allows me flexibility and ability to travel to different cities to experience new environments, which I cherish before MJ and I have to finally settle down and start a family.
Often, there will be times when my project may appear to be over, where the client no longer seems to want us to work anymore or has no more work for us to do.......that's when things seem to wind down, my co-workers are anxious, and I start polishing my resume again. However, like a lot of litigation and law projects, sometimes deadlines are extended, a new issue arises, new facts emerge, and suddenly we're back in demand and working as usual. I've gotten used to this constant variation in demand for my services, but I still appreciate the manna from heaven sent by the legal/ job gods.
I also enjoyed my weekend in Big Bear, which was a sort of manna from heaven of a respite from the long work week (although I did work on Presidents' Day Monday, a holiday for most. Some of my Facebook friends have begun to call it Presidents not named Trump Day). Sometimes a weekend of just doing nothing but hanging out with one's friends is needed, and it was thoroughly enjoyed. It started in Long Beach where my friend picked me up, but not before I realized how cool a place downtown Long Beach is; excellent view of he ocean and a nice hip downtown scene. At Big Bear we did plenty of hot tubbing, hiking, some skiing (I don't ski anymore now that I've seen how painful MJ's leg injury was), watching movies, playing games, talking, eating, and generally enjoying each other's company. A very "Caucasian middle-class" kind of weekend, some might say, and not everyone can afford the luxury of a whole weekend off in of the busiest weekends of the year in Big Bear, but it gave me some respite from basically a quiet, isolated life of working and traveling back and forth from the office. We watched a Japanese movie rated 100% on Rotten Tomatoes (very rare, even higher than Parasite!) that was a zombie movie but somehow made me inspired about the power of a community: you'll see what I mean if you ever watch "One Cut of the Dead." Similar to Parasite, there's a huge twist towards the middle of the movie that I did not expect which really makes the movie what it is. Our group also played 2 mafia-like games called Resistance and Secret Nazi, and they really made me question how good of a liar I am. I'm a competitive person naturally and wanted to win the game, but since the game relied heavily on lying to others I don't think I was that good, which is probably actually a good thing.
I really hope everyone can get their manna from heaven from time to time, especially those who need it, like coronavirus victims, people suffering from oppression, natural disasters, financial trouble, or maybe are just bored from work like I was. Hope everyone can have a boat come and throw you a lifesaver!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Today, after a brief period of speculation and foreboding, my work project was extended for a couple more weeks (estimated), allowing me to have more work to do for now. In my line of work, projects come and go, so once I'm no longer needed, I move on from the project and no longer work for that client/law firm, moving on to another law firm/project that needs me for my foreign language skills. It's not as steady as a normal job, but it allows me flexibility and ability to travel to different cities to experience new environments, which I cherish before MJ and I have to finally settle down and start a family.
Often, there will be times when my project may appear to be over, where the client no longer seems to want us to work anymore or has no more work for us to do.......that's when things seem to wind down, my co-workers are anxious, and I start polishing my resume again. However, like a lot of litigation and law projects, sometimes deadlines are extended, a new issue arises, new facts emerge, and suddenly we're back in demand and working as usual. I've gotten used to this constant variation in demand for my services, but I still appreciate the manna from heaven sent by the legal/ job gods.
I also enjoyed my weekend in Big Bear, which was a sort of manna from heaven of a respite from the long work week (although I did work on Presidents' Day Monday, a holiday for most. Some of my Facebook friends have begun to call it Presidents not named Trump Day). Sometimes a weekend of just doing nothing but hanging out with one's friends is needed, and it was thoroughly enjoyed. It started in Long Beach where my friend picked me up, but not before I realized how cool a place downtown Long Beach is; excellent view of he ocean and a nice hip downtown scene. At Big Bear we did plenty of hot tubbing, hiking, some skiing (I don't ski anymore now that I've seen how painful MJ's leg injury was), watching movies, playing games, talking, eating, and generally enjoying each other's company. A very "Caucasian middle-class" kind of weekend, some might say, and not everyone can afford the luxury of a whole weekend off in of the busiest weekends of the year in Big Bear, but it gave me some respite from basically a quiet, isolated life of working and traveling back and forth from the office. We watched a Japanese movie rated 100% on Rotten Tomatoes (very rare, even higher than Parasite!) that was a zombie movie but somehow made me inspired about the power of a community: you'll see what I mean if you ever watch "One Cut of the Dead." Similar to Parasite, there's a huge twist towards the middle of the movie that I did not expect which really makes the movie what it is. Our group also played 2 mafia-like games called Resistance and Secret Nazi, and they really made me question how good of a liar I am. I'm a competitive person naturally and wanted to win the game, but since the game relied heavily on lying to others I don't think I was that good, which is probably actually a good thing.
I really hope everyone can get their manna from heaven from time to time, especially those who need it, like coronavirus victims, people suffering from oppression, natural disasters, financial trouble, or maybe are just bored from work like I was. Hope everyone can have a boat come and throw you a lifesaver!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Friday, February 14, 2020
Interpreter (통역, 通訳, 翻译)
On Sunday night, the Academy Awards awarded its first Best Picture Award to a Foreign Language Film, and it was Parasite! MJ was super giddy at this development, not only from the pride in Koreans that it inspired her with but also from the surprising result: The war film 1917 had been the frontrunner throughout awards season and oddsmakers (whom I look to for the most accurate chances because that's where people actually put real money on bets) had a really low chance for Parasite to win. But award after award went to Parasite, Director Bong Joon Ho (and his interpreter) went again and again up to the stage to accept the Best Foreign Film award, the Best Original Screenplay, Best Director (he kept promising more and more extravagant drinking excursions too) until finally the Best Picture goes to........Parasite! The whole cast of Parasite used one Korean-English translator, later found to be a young film director Sharon Choi, and she turned out to be the star of the show! She was excellent in her command of the English language, and I doubt I would have done as good of a job if I were pressed to be a Chinese-English interpreter. And she wasn't certified or professional or anything! Just in the right environment (both countries) to master both languages and be natural with both, like being able to write equally well with both hands. That's one of the true joys of life and especially language, to wield 2 languages equally well at the same time. It feels like a superpower that other people don't have.
Even in today's world of high tech tools and smartphones, I'm still fascinated by language (I should be, I profit immensely off it as a profession) and how important a tool it can be. Normal people like Sharon Choi can become heroes by being fluent in 2 languages. It's one of those weird disciplines that you can't just learn coding in 6 months, it's either you learn as a child or you have to dedicate a long, long time, of grueling practice and dedication to as an adult (I've learned the hard way and I'm not even that proficient). But when one does master it, it's great, and I'm not sure how technology eventually can replace it short of inserting a chip in one's brain that tells you what to say in various languages. And even then, it doesn't give the same feeling of gratification that interpreting does, to be able to seamlessly say exactly what was said by another person and express meaning, but with completely different words and noises coming from one's mouth that only makes sense to the other party. I've done interpreting a few times in Chinese-English (in court, in legal clinics, on the street with random Chinese people who got lost in downtown LA) and I never mind it; it's one of the one things I can know for sure I'm getting right, I'm confident I have the right answer (or at least, something functionally close to the right answer, as there can be multiple right answers) as opposed to trying to answer "How do we solve poverty in the world?" or "what are all the laws regarding reporting capital gains on your tax return?" etc., that I have some notion of but never the complete answer.
Anyway, yes, Sharon Choi was great, and she's my hero! But luckily I can be that hero too. Interpreting can happen for you too!
Even in today's world of high tech tools and smartphones, I'm still fascinated by language (I should be, I profit immensely off it as a profession) and how important a tool it can be. Normal people like Sharon Choi can become heroes by being fluent in 2 languages. It's one of those weird disciplines that you can't just learn coding in 6 months, it's either you learn as a child or you have to dedicate a long, long time, of grueling practice and dedication to as an adult (I've learned the hard way and I'm not even that proficient). But when one does master it, it's great, and I'm not sure how technology eventually can replace it short of inserting a chip in one's brain that tells you what to say in various languages. And even then, it doesn't give the same feeling of gratification that interpreting does, to be able to seamlessly say exactly what was said by another person and express meaning, but with completely different words and noises coming from one's mouth that only makes sense to the other party. I've done interpreting a few times in Chinese-English (in court, in legal clinics, on the street with random Chinese people who got lost in downtown LA) and I never mind it; it's one of the one things I can know for sure I'm getting right, I'm confident I have the right answer (or at least, something functionally close to the right answer, as there can be multiple right answers) as opposed to trying to answer "How do we solve poverty in the world?" or "what are all the laws regarding reporting capital gains on your tax return?" etc., that I have some notion of but never the complete answer.
Anyway, yes, Sharon Choi was great, and she's my hero! But luckily I can be that hero too. Interpreting can happen for you too!
Tuesday, February 11, 2020
Personality Clash (성격 충돌, 人格の衝突, 个性冲突)
There are so many conflicts globally nowadays: The coronavirus death count broke over 1000 today, while the cruise ship in Japan remains quarantined, the most recent Academy Awards had an issue of too few minority nominees, which somewhat overshadowed Parasite's win for Best Picture and Director Bong Joon Ho, airlines are now starting to ban passengers from watch porn while in flight (I really did not know that people did that), and I have a daily internal clash about whether to buy some TSLA stock or not despite already missing the huge move from 300 to 750 ( I AM happy that AMZN stock finally broke out and is moving higher steadily). Andrew Yang dropped out of the Democratic race for President after tonight's New Hampshire primary, while the remaining candidates are clashing during debates and online over issues such as electability, policies, and who said what. Nancy Pelosi and President Trump had a big public conflict during the State of the Union address last week where Trump refused to shake Pelosi's hand, Pelosi ripped up a copy of Trump's speech.
So many conflicts reported in the news, but most people are still preoccupied mostly with their own individual conflicts: with coworkers, with family members, with friends, with random strangers on the street, it's how we deal with those conflicts that largely defines who we are. It's all nice and friendly when you first meet someone, as we're mostly conditioned to give others the benefit of the doubt and to put our best foot forward to give a good first impression, but paradoxically the more we know someone the more conflicts develop, and personality clashes ensue. Accordingly, I often judge people and whether I want to continue being friends with someone based on how well they manage conflicts with others, or how often they have conflicts (the less the better, but if they handle those conflicts relatively well, it may mitigate the concerns).
My mom and I often have personality clash, butting heads since literally the day I was born about my school work, college choice, career choice, daily habits, etc., etc., etc. These problems creep up every so often if I visit on the weekends or on holidays, but are somewhat defused when I go back to my own home. If I stay for extended time with my mom......sparks could fly. Luckily, our relationship otherwise is strong enough to withstand the major personality clashes, but many times other relationships are not able to.
I work in a close office environment where most people are within sight (and smell, and hearing) of each other, and it drove a couple of co-workers who used to be friends to become enemies. Actually pretty sad, a pair of strong personalities who are otherwise nice but have personal preferences and hygiene issues and daily habits that drive each other insane, and suddenly it's become a huge issue that people gossip about and becomes uncomfortable for everyone else in the office.
Sometimes, as I tell MJ, it's not necessarily that someone is a bad person and can't get along with other person, or person A is normal but person B is bad, but rather that person A and person B just have clashing personalities. They just don't mix well, like oil and water. Mix them with other combinations of people and they get along great, can be great friends. Some common toxic combos are reserved v. outspoken, "loose and carefree" about cleanliness v. obsessively compulsive about cleanliness, vegans v. everyone else. Neither side is necessarily wrong, it's just that they can't co-exist.
The genius of Survivor the reality show (and part of why I liked it) was that they played off of this by forcing groups of people with clashing personalities to be stuck on an island together and have to live with each other. And be severely hungry (and hangry) all the time, causing their most basic instinctual personalities to come out and do battle with others' personalities, and the conflict makes for great TV. I'm convinced that Survivor, Big Brother, Amazing Race, all of my most favorite reality TV shows looked for characters who had clashing personalities so that they would get into disagreements and fights, which is part of the reason I never got cast: not big enough of a personality, and I pride myself on being able to resolve differences in personality by compromising. "Compromise" is not a great word for reality TV producers. However, some Survivor winners were really good at compromise enough to win the show, and this week they start Survivor 40: the winner season. It was the ultimate social experiment that really shows on live TV the perils of living too long with someone, having personalities clash and boil over, eventually driving each other insane. I just can't help but watch, as Survivor has been part of my growth into an adult for the last 18+ years, and it'll be a great way to end my social experiment-watching days.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
So many conflicts reported in the news, but most people are still preoccupied mostly with their own individual conflicts: with coworkers, with family members, with friends, with random strangers on the street, it's how we deal with those conflicts that largely defines who we are. It's all nice and friendly when you first meet someone, as we're mostly conditioned to give others the benefit of the doubt and to put our best foot forward to give a good first impression, but paradoxically the more we know someone the more conflicts develop, and personality clashes ensue. Accordingly, I often judge people and whether I want to continue being friends with someone based on how well they manage conflicts with others, or how often they have conflicts (the less the better, but if they handle those conflicts relatively well, it may mitigate the concerns).
My mom and I often have personality clash, butting heads since literally the day I was born about my school work, college choice, career choice, daily habits, etc., etc., etc. These problems creep up every so often if I visit on the weekends or on holidays, but are somewhat defused when I go back to my own home. If I stay for extended time with my mom......sparks could fly. Luckily, our relationship otherwise is strong enough to withstand the major personality clashes, but many times other relationships are not able to.
I work in a close office environment where most people are within sight (and smell, and hearing) of each other, and it drove a couple of co-workers who used to be friends to become enemies. Actually pretty sad, a pair of strong personalities who are otherwise nice but have personal preferences and hygiene issues and daily habits that drive each other insane, and suddenly it's become a huge issue that people gossip about and becomes uncomfortable for everyone else in the office.
Sometimes, as I tell MJ, it's not necessarily that someone is a bad person and can't get along with other person, or person A is normal but person B is bad, but rather that person A and person B just have clashing personalities. They just don't mix well, like oil and water. Mix them with other combinations of people and they get along great, can be great friends. Some common toxic combos are reserved v. outspoken, "loose and carefree" about cleanliness v. obsessively compulsive about cleanliness, vegans v. everyone else. Neither side is necessarily wrong, it's just that they can't co-exist.
The genius of Survivor the reality show (and part of why I liked it) was that they played off of this by forcing groups of people with clashing personalities to be stuck on an island together and have to live with each other. And be severely hungry (and hangry) all the time, causing their most basic instinctual personalities to come out and do battle with others' personalities, and the conflict makes for great TV. I'm convinced that Survivor, Big Brother, Amazing Race, all of my most favorite reality TV shows looked for characters who had clashing personalities so that they would get into disagreements and fights, which is part of the reason I never got cast: not big enough of a personality, and I pride myself on being able to resolve differences in personality by compromising. "Compromise" is not a great word for reality TV producers. However, some Survivor winners were really good at compromise enough to win the show, and this week they start Survivor 40: the winner season. It was the ultimate social experiment that really shows on live TV the perils of living too long with someone, having personalities clash and boil over, eventually driving each other insane. I just can't help but watch, as Survivor has been part of my growth into an adult for the last 18+ years, and it'll be a great way to end my social experiment-watching days.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Wednesday, February 5, 2020
The nail that sticks out will be hammered down (出る杭は打たれる)
A Japanese idiom that means people who have strong opinions or are extreme will be knocked down a peg, this phrase is a good representation of the difference between Asian cultures and U.S. cultures. Both my wife MJ and I are what I would consider "reserved" people, where we don't express our opinion too strongly to others. MJ actually has strong opinions about how people should act, but she saves her complaints for home when she tells me about them. I generally don't have strong opinions except on certain issues like money and studying techniques, which is because I accept that I might not have thought of everything yet. MJ and I are reserved for different reasons, but a common reason is we were raised in Asian family households that did not reward having strong opinions and speaking out about them.
I used to think U.S. society wasn't that much more extreme than Asian ones, but it seems like more and more that people have very strong opinions and won't be convinced by anyone else's arguments. It's fashionable to show a strong opinion on social media (one of the few places people have conversations anymore), and some people online will even berate those who don't have a strong opinion on something. Often I wonder if the strong opinions people take are even truly their own or just motivated by the opinion that they think society WANTS them to have, so in reality they're actually the ones being nailed down to what society wants them to be. Maybe the more courageous and bold thing to do now is actually NOT to take strong and bold stances and be willing enough to hear both sides of the story to seek to understand what the other side wants and where it is coming from. Just imagine the Senate impeachment trial of Donald Trump this week if each side actually listened to the other side; we certainly wouldn't get 2 seemingly completely different versions of the facts of what Trump did as well as Senators just voting down party lines, except for Mitt Romney.
"Nail that sticks out" also refers to people in a company or a group who try to lead and do stand out among the other employees, and here I do think the American style is better, to find one's own path and seek to become a leader. Lots of innovators like Marc Zuckerburg, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, were trying to do something new that other people hadn't tried before, that they probably took on a lot of riks to believe in something that wasn't popular in their circle of friends or co-workers. In Asian societies, the nails sticking out might have been hammered back in to conform to everyone else and to have a collectivist society, but luckily for iPhone users, Facebook users, and plenty of other great technological inventions, those leaders went against the grain and didn't mind being hammered back down. That's the kind of conviction and strong opinions we need to have in today's society.
Another "nail" in the stock market recently has been TSLA..... the stock is just on a ridiculous run, going from $170 to $900+ price in just several months, including doubling from $400 just this calendar year (since January 1, 2020). It's routinely up 20% or so before I've even finished my morning milk (instead of morning coffee, I have morning milk). This kind of rapid move up Is not very sustainable, and because the stock market has the saying "bulls make a little, bears make a little, and hogs get slaughtered," TSLA came down substantially today, losing 20% on a day all other NASDAQ stocks are up. It doesn't mean that TSLA's a bad investment, or that it won't go back up, but once in a while a stock just needs to get beaten down a little bit; it can't just keep going up in a straight line, of course.
I used to think U.S. society wasn't that much more extreme than Asian ones, but it seems like more and more that people have very strong opinions and won't be convinced by anyone else's arguments. It's fashionable to show a strong opinion on social media (one of the few places people have conversations anymore), and some people online will even berate those who don't have a strong opinion on something. Often I wonder if the strong opinions people take are even truly their own or just motivated by the opinion that they think society WANTS them to have, so in reality they're actually the ones being nailed down to what society wants them to be. Maybe the more courageous and bold thing to do now is actually NOT to take strong and bold stances and be willing enough to hear both sides of the story to seek to understand what the other side wants and where it is coming from. Just imagine the Senate impeachment trial of Donald Trump this week if each side actually listened to the other side; we certainly wouldn't get 2 seemingly completely different versions of the facts of what Trump did as well as Senators just voting down party lines, except for Mitt Romney.
"Nail that sticks out" also refers to people in a company or a group who try to lead and do stand out among the other employees, and here I do think the American style is better, to find one's own path and seek to become a leader. Lots of innovators like Marc Zuckerburg, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, were trying to do something new that other people hadn't tried before, that they probably took on a lot of riks to believe in something that wasn't popular in their circle of friends or co-workers. In Asian societies, the nails sticking out might have been hammered back in to conform to everyone else and to have a collectivist society, but luckily for iPhone users, Facebook users, and plenty of other great technological inventions, those leaders went against the grain and didn't mind being hammered back down. That's the kind of conviction and strong opinions we need to have in today's society.
Another "nail" in the stock market recently has been TSLA..... the stock is just on a ridiculous run, going from $170 to $900+ price in just several months, including doubling from $400 just this calendar year (since January 1, 2020). It's routinely up 20% or so before I've even finished my morning milk (instead of morning coffee, I have morning milk). This kind of rapid move up Is not very sustainable, and because the stock market has the saying "bulls make a little, bears make a little, and hogs get slaughtered," TSLA came down substantially today, losing 20% on a day all other NASDAQ stocks are up. It doesn't mean that TSLA's a bad investment, or that it won't go back up, but once in a while a stock just needs to get beaten down a little bit; it can't just keep going up in a straight line, of course.
Monday, February 3, 2020
Oversleep (睡 过头, 寝坊, 과자)
To oversleep- as opposed to Korean which is just "over sleep," the Chinese translation of oversleep is to "go over your head with sleep," and the Japanese version is a "boy/monk who sleeps all day." Lots of imagery of sleeping too much that I probably fit under, and I did so today, on Groundhog Day and Super Bowl Sunday.
Usually I set an alarm at the end of the previous day for when I have to get up the next day (usually 2 alarms in case one of them doesn't go off and/or I don't react to one of them), but once in a while I'll just go with the "let it ride" approach, no alarm clock and just see how long I sleep for. It can go for awhile, which can make me seem greedy with sleep, but on the other hand, is it greedy if the body is naturally sleeping that long? Perhaps it needs that much time to recover, let the mind recuperate from a long work week, etc. I'm a strong believer in listening to one's body: to give it food when it wants to, to rest when something hurts, and to sleep when it tells me to. There's plenty of coffee, medication, and other drug to manipulate the body temporarily, but nothing to me beats doing what the body wants.
MJ nods off A LOT when her body is telling her to sleep, and it's always a dilemma for me whether to wake her up or not.......on one hand if she's told me to wake her up, I should probably wake her up because she has something she needs to study, and she might get angry at me (it actually led to a huge fight for us one time, but with other extenuating circumstances), but on the other hand I think it's probably better for her and her health to just get the sleep she needs. I view sleep as a recovery state, like sending an injured Pokémon to the Pokémon center to get treated, or putting my Apple airpods into the charging case to be recharged.......if the earpod alerts you that it needs to be recharged, you should probably recharge it and not wait until it just completely shuts off on its own.
I'm really nervous about how little sleep we will get when we start a family and have a baby (or gasp! Two), as the horror stories from new parents come flooding in, I reckon that will be one of the toughest things about having a child, is the lack of sleep which affects everything about life. There won't be many days of getting enough sleep, much less oversleeping, so I better enjoy one of the rare luxuries of life now while I can. I have a co-worker whose wife just gave birth to their second child, after barely getting through the baby years with their first child who's now 4.......he consistently nods off during the middle of the day and has to steal some precious minutes during his lunch break to sneak some sleep in the break room......I just pity him so much from a sleep deprivation standpoint and see myself in the future just fighting to get through the day. I wish I could accrue some sleeping credit now so I could use them in the future.... harvest them into pill form and that take them when I'm sleep-deprived to get an instant 3-hour nap booster........perhaps there might be a real pill for that in the future? Drug companies get on it, highly lucrative idea.
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Saturday, February 1, 2020
Contagion (전염병, 伝染病, 传染病)
The recent coronavirus outbreak in China (and now 7 know cases in America) has eerie resemblances to the movie "Contagion" starring Matt Damon, Gwyneth Paltrow, etc., where the origin of the disease is from a wild bat in China that infects Paltrow, who carries it on a plane back to the U.S., where it infects others as the disease becomes transmitted. So far the coronavirus hasn't been declared a global health epidemic by the World Trade Organization, but the CDC is actively involved and the infected rate/death toll is a daily report now on the news, a sure sign that this disease has indeed become a global story. I've now also seen firsthand how various threats can impact world markets (especially the stock market), and this is the first epidemic I've lived through, adding to the possible market killers like trade war, raising interest rates, rising unemployment, election results (whether a certain President or political party comes to power), military conflict, etc., etc. So far the epidemic has been contained mainly in Wuhan, China, and all Chinese people wear protective face masks, even in the U.S., and especially at airports or places with large populations of people. I haven't been affected on a personal level yet as my daily life is still the same as before (still go to work, still go outside, my parents and I went to a Chinese restaurant today and it was still quite busy), but I have seen some negative attitudes about Chinese people along with Trump's travel ban restricting incoming visitors from other countries, and some rumblings about xenophobia and fear of meeting Chinese people.
Through this coronavirus episode, I've seen various insensitive posts about Chinese people on the internet........and unfortunately those get retweeted/reposted on some Facebook friends' pages, depicting various negative aspects about China, like "mail order brides in China now 25% off," or a fighter who will soon fight a Chinese MMA fighter posting a picture of herself with a gas mask on. All of these things are insensitive material that make light of a very serious situation in China where more and more people die everything......so joking about it is not the best timing, but as a society we lose some of the ideas of decency based on what we see on the internet, and what people are drawn to. It's disturbing that to draw attention to oneself, some people use a disease/ natural disaster that is causing pain and suffering to thousands and has already killed more than 100. Even joking about the "coronavirus" sounding like the beer Corona is a bit over the line, but some of the jokes have a racial edge to them, which would not be acceptable for making fun of certain races in America.......but apparently making fun of the Chinese is not looked as down upon. I'm not sure if that's reflective of how Chinese Americans police the internet or speak out about racial injustice, but there definitely does seem to be a prejudice especially now that the U.S. was engaged in a trade war with China and there's a type of intellectual warfare going on with Chinese spies being arrested in America, and the race to build the most advanced technology possible to become the leader of the world in the next few decades.
The insensitive posts also remind me that I have to be choosy about the friends we make. As a nerdy kid in high school who no one wanted to talk to, I was pretty desperate and would take any friends that would have me; the feeling of acceptance trumped my discretion. I still find in the adult world that life is very similar to high school and people still are drawn to the more popular, better-looking people, but at least my friend possibilities are so large that I can just move on to the next candidates and choose new friends. I am pretty accepting of differences and diverging opinions on some topics, but some big no-no's are taking me for granted, ditching me to go talk to cooler people, and doing things like posting racist jokes and memes on social media. MJ is already very good about discerning which friends she likes to keep in touch with and maintain, and it's not a long list......which as adults, it probably shouldn't be. More and more I realize that we don't have enough time to be friends with too many people and it's not practical to be spread so thin, only maintaining surface relationships with people and meeting once a year or less. People I thought were friends sometimes change and become someone I do not respect, or over time of hanging out with them I realize they were always like that and shouldn't have been friends with in the first place. It's nothing personal, but just because I share a few interests with someone and can carry on a 10-minute conversation with does not mean I should be friends with them for life. It takes a while for these decisions to be made, but 7 years is a good gauge of whether you'll be friends with someone for life........hopefully less for a marriage partner!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
Through this coronavirus episode, I've seen various insensitive posts about Chinese people on the internet........and unfortunately those get retweeted/reposted on some Facebook friends' pages, depicting various negative aspects about China, like "mail order brides in China now 25% off," or a fighter who will soon fight a Chinese MMA fighter posting a picture of herself with a gas mask on. All of these things are insensitive material that make light of a very serious situation in China where more and more people die everything......so joking about it is not the best timing, but as a society we lose some of the ideas of decency based on what we see on the internet, and what people are drawn to. It's disturbing that to draw attention to oneself, some people use a disease/ natural disaster that is causing pain and suffering to thousands and has already killed more than 100. Even joking about the "coronavirus" sounding like the beer Corona is a bit over the line, but some of the jokes have a racial edge to them, which would not be acceptable for making fun of certain races in America.......but apparently making fun of the Chinese is not looked as down upon. I'm not sure if that's reflective of how Chinese Americans police the internet or speak out about racial injustice, but there definitely does seem to be a prejudice especially now that the U.S. was engaged in a trade war with China and there's a type of intellectual warfare going on with Chinese spies being arrested in America, and the race to build the most advanced technology possible to become the leader of the world in the next few decades.
The insensitive posts also remind me that I have to be choosy about the friends we make. As a nerdy kid in high school who no one wanted to talk to, I was pretty desperate and would take any friends that would have me; the feeling of acceptance trumped my discretion. I still find in the adult world that life is very similar to high school and people still are drawn to the more popular, better-looking people, but at least my friend possibilities are so large that I can just move on to the next candidates and choose new friends. I am pretty accepting of differences and diverging opinions on some topics, but some big no-no's are taking me for granted, ditching me to go talk to cooler people, and doing things like posting racist jokes and memes on social media. MJ is already very good about discerning which friends she likes to keep in touch with and maintain, and it's not a long list......which as adults, it probably shouldn't be. More and more I realize that we don't have enough time to be friends with too many people and it's not practical to be spread so thin, only maintaining surface relationships with people and meeting once a year or less. People I thought were friends sometimes change and become someone I do not respect, or over time of hanging out with them I realize they were always like that and shouldn't have been friends with in the first place. It's nothing personal, but just because I share a few interests with someone and can carry on a 10-minute conversation with does not mean I should be friends with them for life. It takes a while for these decisions to be made, but 7 years is a good gauge of whether you'll be friends with someone for life........hopefully less for a marriage partner!
Fantasize on,
Robert Yan
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