Sunday, August 28, 2016

Sweat (汗)

Have I mentioned that I don't like summer that much? Some of my best memories from childhood are from summer, but that's more due to the ample vacation time it provided during the school years and freedom, as well as college working at camp and playing with kids. I've well documented in this blog my theory that people's brains work just a little slower during summer, and of my like for summer vacations in the amount of time it's light outside but also the sheer quantity of people who go on vacation during this time.... there's also the issue of natsubate (exhaustion from it being summer), sunburns, excessive heat warnings, rising air conditioning costs, lack of sports (only the long hot days of baseball), etc., etc.

The more I experience summer and the older I get however, it's become clear to me that the top problem of the summer personally for me is sweat. I sweat a lot. It started innocently enough: I was just a regular kid, a little overweight so I didn't move that much, but I don't remember being overly sweaty, maybe in the neck regions, but the sweat sort of evolved like a virus, spreading from the neck area to armpits, then chest, then the stomach area. Not sure if I'm unique in this area, but I sweat from the stomach.....my shirt usually gets wet in that area first and then grows out from there, almost like blood spreading if I had gotten stabbed in the stomach (I know my girlfriend is loving reading this topic right now). Thank god my sweat is not overly smelly (sometimes it is though!) because I've smelled overly sweaty AND overly smelly people, and it can get unbearably unpleasant.

Because I've dealt with sweat so much in my life, though, I have the benefit of having experienced many embarrassing situations related to sweat, and can share
Sweat tips:
1.)  It doesn't go away just because you shower. Intuitively the cool water splashing down on the body should wash away the sweat, but if you were exercising vigorously before the shower, your body still hasn't gotten a chance to cool down. The water is just a temporary fix, the permanent fix is making the body cool down, which requires being in a cool room for a while, sitting. If you exercise a lot, shower, and then continue to do something else, you'll sweat through your shirt. Body's like a machine: needs time to cool down.

2.) bring a towel/extra shirt if you know you're going to sweat. I almost always bring multiple shirts to dodgeball, especially because I sweat through them and any ball that hits my body because wet.

3.) I'd rather take 90 degrees in dry heat than 70 degrees in wet heat. When thinking about comfortableness, temperature's probably the right indicator. But humidity is a much better chance-of-sweat indicator, and having been an "Angeleno" for several years I was greeted with a rude awakening to the compressing, suffocating, death-inducing humidity. Can make you feel like you can't breath, and feel like you can't walk without sweating.

4.) Don't schedule dates in the summer. Don't think had a bad experience with my girlfriend (yay!) which is why we might be together. Seriously, I start getting sweaty, start worrying about sweating and compound the problem, worry about having sweaty (worse, clammy!) hands and touching my date, worry about the sweat soaking through my shirt and causing an embarrassing situation, don't want to go outside and walk around (despite that being the most romantic thing to do), etc. If dating must be done in summer, think later at night (when in LA at least the weather gets cooler, in Washington DC it does NOT!) or go to the movies, go to the ice rink (an EXCELLENT place to go on a date, btw)

5.) When you know you're about to sweat, try to think of a cool place and concentrate, let your mind focus on the coldest place you can think of. Actually, I have no idea if this works. It's probably better to just get inside where, you know, there's air conditioning.

6.) Totally counterintuitive, but wear 2 shirts. One inner shirt to sweat through and soak up the sweat, then change and just wear the clean outside shirt. Honestly, sweat kind of breads sweat: where there's sweat, there becomes more sweat. Wearing another shirt at least gives you a fresh feeling, allows the prior sweat to be removed. I always wonder how women wear those one-piece summer dresses, what if they sweat through that??? Seems totally possible and a very difficult situation to "wiggle out of."

Fantasize on,

Robert Yan

1 comment:

MJ said...

I started laughing out loud right after reading "stabbed in the stomach" part lol You know me so well ;)