Tripod ( 三脚, 三脚架, 삼각대)

 There are some inventions I don't miss from my childhood: Blockbuster video stores, for example, or dial-up internet, or microfiche in libraries.......they just caused life to be inconvenient, and we've streamlined those things out of business. Some inventions, though, I wish were still around because I liked the antique feel of them, and they're mostly related to cameras: One is definitely the one-time use cameras that only had 30 shots or so each: use them all up and it was over, so you couldn't waste one! The limited nature of the camera made me treasure each shot, and I have to say I liked turning the knob to ready the next shot, like springing a trap or setting a toaster oven. In terms of convenience, it was actually pretty comparable to nowadays pulling out my phone, having to unlock the phone, and hit the phone app- the manual steps needed to take a picture were virtually the step, but for sure going to get the photo to developed added inconvenience. Perhaps I liked Polaroids more (MJ and I had them at our wedding). One-time use makes me think of TikTock videos and the "limited time viewing" of Snapchat.......not being able to see the video past a certain time makes it appealing and attractive somehow, and I do actually check them more than old Facebook photos because I feel like Facebook's will always be there. There's an analogous conversation to be had about how the ephemeral nature of life adds to the quality of it (as opposed to the mundaneness of eternal life), but for now I'll just say Snapchat and TikTok do capitalize on the uniquely human nature of feeling time pressure (same urge as limited-time only sales). 

The other camera-related invention that I cherish and just used this weekend is the tripod! When I was a child just seeing the tripod come out meant a fancy occasion, we weren't fooling around anymore. I would definitely have to dress up nice, sit around in nice poses, and look good for the camera. And then then whole dance of my dad hitting the button on the delayed-time camera and rushing to get seated with the rest of us was always a bit thrilling (what if he fell? What if he doesn't make it?) just a little bit of that tension evoked some adrenaline, I guess. What a rush! But the tripod also is pretty useful: it stablizes the camera so it doesn't tremble in someone's hand, and it supports the camera so that it just it at eye level. Today MJ capitalized on all of those utilities that tripods offer: we were able to take great pictures of ourselves without a cameraperson to guide us along and direct us; we set the camera (now phone) on a steady surface to get the best angle, and we got the suprisingly exhilarating thrill of hitting the button, seeing the 10 second countdown, and rushing to get to the spot. Maybe I just like photo sessions. One of my best memories of pre-wedding festivities in 2017 was our engagement photos with Dave, our photographer, who directed us in various poses and angles and locations near downtown L.A. (we even got a shot while fountains were going off! What a rush!) and I didn't complain the whole time. It was like a stroll in the park and memoralizing the occasion, and the scenery is always nice because we picked that location because it looks nice. Today was no different, except "Dave" became iPod+ phone. And we still got fountains going off: instead of the fountains in front of the LA Department of Water and Power building overlooking downtown Los Angeles, it was the pre-set sprinkler system to water the front lawn of the university, but water is water, and fountains are fountains. Maybe I was a model in a previous life, showing my brilliance and confidence off for all the world to see. I really enjoyed it, thanks in part (to MJ's great photo-taking abilities) and to the tripod. 

Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan 

House Hunting (寻找住房, 집 사냥, ハウスハント

 On my 34th birthday, I entered a new phase of my life: house hunting. In my first 33 years of life, I only knew apartment hunting, which is a lot like buying a car: you show up to the lot, you pick the one you like, you drive away at the end of the day. House hunting is apartment hunting on steriods, or the next level up in the video game called life. There's a lot to know about it before starting, and I wasn't ready. I still don't think I'm ready, but MJ and I are starting to take the leap. 

The house hunting process, like college application process, apparently starts years before actually buying a house: building up credit. Luckily I paid off all my student loans from law school (I just celebrated my 10-year anniversary of graduating law school!) and pay all my credit card bills on time, so the lending company I talked to was pretty happy to talk to me and offer me all kinds of their products so I could pay them 2.5%+ interest over 15 years. (Show them what they've won!) 

There's also the matter of picking a real estate agent. The lendor and the realtor: like right-hand man/woman and left-hand man/woman in the house buying process, kind of have to hire these extra hands/ helpers. And really, anybody can just sign up to be a lendor/realtor, as long as you pass the license. It's very much the middle-man model that America thrives off of, everyone gets a cut. I'm a lawyer so I can't complain: I make my money as a middle man to pay other middle men to get what I want. And on the seller's side, they have to pick a middle man/woman of their choice to get sell us waht they want. Keeping track of how many middle men in this transaction? It's a country of middle men/women. Oh and of course there are taxes upon buying the property, so one of those middle men will be Uncle Sam. Oh and then if you're not buying a home in the middle of nowhere or a farmhouse somewhere, welcome to the Home Association! And Homeowner Association fees, or "HOAs." More like DOAs, "Death on Arrival." Some of these monthly fees to the home association are as high as some people's rent. (The first apartment I lived in college was $400 a month! $400!) 

"Wise men say......only fools rush in...." is a great song by Elvis that MJ and I used as her song for walking down the aisle at our wedding, and I played on my violin as she did so. So I should be familiar with it, but boy did I rush in. We went to the first open house we saw on Zillow, liked what we saw, met a realtor there, got her story, and signed up already........And almost submitted an offer within a week! Worked for us for apartments, especially since we got some "move-in special deals" if we applied within 24 hours of touring the apartment, certianly a marketing trick, but there's no move-in deals in buying a home! Only the idea of "moving quickly" to beat the competition since it's a seller's market, and homes are selling like hotcakes. Our realtor kind of lit a fire under a butt by calling one home that was on the market but finding out it was already under contract by the time we called, showing how fast things can move. The equivalent of a "BUY BUY BUY" panic button similar to the one Jim Cramer uses on Mad Money. It is hard to resist the impulse to BUY because the house is just sitting there and I have been pre-approved with a loan and I know what I can afford, but for someone like me who's easily swayed by what other people say because I hadn't considered it before, I have to "sleep on it" and then wake up the next day feeling differently about what I want than the day before, especially if I got a new opinion from a friend who bought a house before. "Watch out for HoA's!" "Condos? Why would you want to buy a condo?" "Don't buy! Wait for a better opportunity!" "Don't rent anymore, you're not getting any equity!" All different pieces of advice floating in my ear based on other people's own experiences that might not necessarily apply to me specifically, but they definitely influence me. I feel like a fatuous king of China's history who has 20 retainers telling him 20 different things and getting more indecisive after hearing each one, and ultimately going with the advice of whomever he talked to last. (The Donald Trump maneuver, except I'm not a billionaire real estate mogul trying to buy his first 2-bd. 2-bath 1000 sq ft. home). 

This house hunting thing is both frustrating and thrilling at the same time! I love and hate it! 

Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan 

Jokes (开玩笑, 冗談, 농담)

I spent the better part of today (my last day being Age 33!) reading Ken Jennings's book Planet Funny: How Comedy Ruined Everything, about how the world is "getting funnier" with everything turning into a joke, from the comedy news shows like The Daily Show and Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, to books (the most famous books about World War II were Slaughterhouse Five and Catch-22, which were satirical works meant for some dark humor) to social media where everyone is a comedian and every comment to a Youtube video or tweet or reddit post is a chance to be funny. Politics is now funny; the last 2 presidents we had before current President Biden definitely broadedened the horizons for joking around in the Oval Office, whether they intentionally did or not. President Obama was the "People's President" in terms of going on talk shows and making jokes bout himself and giving his big likeable grin after delivering one, and President Trump........set himself up for a lot of jokes, but also joked about political opponents. Not to say that serious matters aren't taken seriously anymore, but a lot of life has been infused with elements of humor. Even Jeopardy, apparently, encourages contestants to tell a funny story about themselves during the interview segment and have canned laughter ready for any semblance of a joke......and that was part of Alex Trebek's charm, he was a great reader of clues but also did a great Jay Leno impression when giving one-liner replies to contestants' eccentric professions or nonstandard stories. I still think contestants though can be funnier, which is difficult for people with IQ's over 130 I guess to develop a funny bone and hilarious personality, but I'd have a couple tricks up my sleeve if I ever got on. 

I get it: most people want to be well liked, and one of the clearest paths to being well liked outside of being extremely popular naturally through athletic prowess or good-looking (good gene prowess) is to resort to making other people laugh. In many ways it's a defense mechanism not unlike bugs adopting camouflage or being stinky to avoid predators: I developed jokes to get social acceptance and have some semblance of a social circle in high school. Later on, I tried to be funny in dates, and luckily, MJ fell for it (I do think some of my early charm in our relationship is my ability to make her laugh, if only to ease the tension in her very stressed life, or to cause a momentary break in an argument). 

One thing I've missed about the pandemic is the ability to deliver jokes: can't be funny with no one to talk to. In fact, I took for granted how much I relied on telling a joke to ingratiate myself at work or work my way into a group; I realize now it was part of my routine to try to get a quick chuckle at least on the first day of a work project or whenever an opportunity presented itself. Nothing doing on zoom calls or work meeting calls; it's just not the same without seeing everyone's face and making sure everyone's paying attention, and getting the timing just right. I tried to "spice it up" this past week by wishing all my co-wokers "May the Fourth be with you" on May 4th. Maybe one or two Star Wars fans got it, but even if so there was no audible response, I didn't get the feedback that I wanted and all comedians crave when they tell a joke and waiting to see how it went.  

Nowadays, though, jokes are a double-edged sword: they're more prevalent and acceptable, but only the right kind of jokes; the wrong types can doubly offend and do substantial damage to one's personality. Anything regarding race, religion, gender, politics, gender politics, vaccines, and a whole range of sensitive topics needs to be handled with kid gloves; even comedians who have a much looser leash to tell jokes have to reign in some of their more offensive jokes for fear of backlash. So imagine little me who works for law firms that handle lawsuits, I have to be even more careful about not making insensitive jokes. Every company I've ever worked for has a sexual harassment policy, so I adhere to that. I also try not to put any jokes in official emails for fear that it will be used against me (a big part of my work is reading OTHER people's emails, which makes me conscience of what I write in my own emails in case they ever end up being used as evidence in the future). Therefore, my comedy range is pretty limited......I go for cheap jokes that get a quick laugh, avoiding long stories with set-up that require some investment and have a higher possible reward of being VERY funny but also carry risk of falling flat on my face. I've gotten a couple disapproving looks fom MJ, but many of my jokes are sexually-tinged jokes that's given me a reputation among from friend circle. It's paradoxical: some of the edgiest jokes about sex and sex acts are the safest because they don't put anyone down or affect any of the listeners; they're just funny because of their ridiculousness to take the listeners and me making the joke to a different reality, which is part of the point of jokes in the first place.........not have to deal with the reality of the moment and go somewhere, if even for one line of dialogue, to an unexpected place, an unexpected thrill that makes our brains go, "ooh, that was funny, I should laugh." And not get offended while doing so. I miss that feeling. 

Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan 

격세지감 隔世之感 (Big Changes in a Little Time)

 I often marvel at how things change quickly in a short amount of time, especially as adults: suddenly friends you've known all your life become married and then parents! And they're talking about things like diapers, daycare, waiting list for kindergarten, etc. In the Chinese kanji, the phrase is literally translated, "like passing through from one generation to the next." It's usually used to describe technological changes in the world or like how a city gets modernized quickly (Shanghai, for example). 

I'm often amazed at how quickly I switch from one habit to the next. If I get hooked on something, I pursue it with deep intensity, devoting every free moment to the study of it, dissecting it in my mind, trying to come up with fresh new ways, and always having a drive to go further in it. Then, I get bored of it, I move onto the next passion, and I look back and feel like that older passion was so long ago. Dodgeball, for instance, seems like forever ago due to the pandemic (and just now slowly being phased back in as part of the great re-opening of activities in the United States), and my lifestyle has changed tremendously without dodgeball......I use those hours I'd be there to study Jeopardy clues. It's a stark difference, mental exercise v. physical exercise/coordination exercise. 

Even working conditions: because of the nature of my job, I often move from one project to another with entirely new co-workers, new supervisors, new office (when there were offices). I'd often be spend so much time in one office and one particular corner/chair at that office that I'd get sick of it, but then after 2 months the project would be over and I'd never see that seat or place ever again. 

I think this is a good lesson in life in that, due to the possibility of big changes in a little time due to foreseen and unforeseen causes like the black swan event of the global Covid pandemic, it's good to cherish those times when I'm deeply impassioned about something and wrapped up in it, having a good time, even if there are little hints that I'm getting a little tired of it (dodgeball was getting to be a big of a grind towards the end) because I never know when a big change will happen and I'll look back and think, "wow, that changed quickly." As MJ and I wrap up this phase of our life and move onto new journeys ahead (and new ages after my upcoming birthday), and possibly buying our first house (that'll be a big change, home ownership......or will it? We're still just living in a home, it's just the financial part that's different)  it's good to have closure and to let the good times marinate and cherish the times we had in this life. And also to have a 2nd nursing graduation (after the undergrad one! 2 graduations in a week! Whirlwind! Big Changes in a little time!) 

Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan 

Graduation Ceremony (毕业典礼, 졸업식, 卒業式)

 May is the month for various different things like days getting longer, the beginning of summer movie season (that is, before the pandemic), but this year the college graduation ceremonies take on added significance due to the cancellation of last year. I've been to several graduation ceremonies, not only my own: my parents' (vaguely remember as a kid watching as my mom received a PhD at Illinois Institute of Technology, which looking back is probably the most significant achievement anyone in our family has ever claimed. It wasn't a PhD in humanities or kinesiology neither; it was organic chemistry, and my mom hints sometimes at staying awake night after night trying to good grades while pregnant with me as well as when I was a kid.) Students work really hard, and the ceremony seems like a quick celebration in comparison....everyone shows up, degrees are conferred, someone gives a speech.......really formulaic and similar to a wedding in the vein of "seen one, and seen them all." 

After a lengthy lockdown and lack of things to get excited about, a graduation ceremony is like a visual overload, an explosion of stimuli and people. Hey look, tons of people dressed up well and gathering not at Costco or Trader Joe's......is this real life? Hearing about undergrad college students' experiences seems distant but vaguely nostalgic, like I could have lived that life, except 12 years ago. Someone remarked at this year's graduation that this year's graduates were barely born in the 20th century.......give it one more year and all the students will be 2000s babies........somewhat horrifying how old the rest of us are becoming. 

Just like outdoor/indoor weddings, there's a big contrast between indoor and outdoor graduation ceremonies.......after receiving a mask tan (my mask was covering my face but the rest of my face burned) and being underneath the blazing sun for 3+ hours (it started at 8:30AM and the sun gradually crept up on us) I think I prefer the indoor and the consistent temperatures, but there is something about the acoustics of a bowl-shaped football stadium that can't be replaced by an indoor basketball arena. 

I felt a little bit of a "aristocrats vs. peasants" vibe with graduation ceremonies because all of the audience are parents and family members of graduates who helped pay for the commoners to attend the university, while the graduates themselves also file into the hall like lemmings wearing the same clothing at a university with thousands of people as a tuition-payng "number" forced to face the stage but being soaked in the sun, but the higher levels of the academic society sit in the shade on the stage facing out into the crowd, wearing distinctive robes showing that they are above others and having various honors and pedigree. I guess they have earned it, but definitely a bit of a "haves v. have-nots" mentality. 

I do like that graduation weekend is one of the busiest weekends of the year for small college towns. I didn't think about that living in L.A. attending USC Law School, but for a small town like Champaign, Illinois, or Durham, North Carolina or Collegetown, U.S.A., it's a big deal for the local economy, especially since there's only so many quality restaurants and places to go in the town, it should be packed. And with the pandemic locking down everything in the past year, this might have been these small business's best time to shine....and make up for lost income. 

MJ had skipped all her previous graduation ceremonies, so this was her first one! She liked it, and I had to admit I kind of did too, despite telling her it doesn't matter if she goes or not. (I've always been in the camp of "it's a waste of time and energy to have all the parents show up, see what they paid for, make a big show of everything that's an optional activity). But when I look back at life, which (as Matt Damon once quoted in the obscure movie Dogma) is a series of moments, and a graduation ceremony just adds another moment in that list, something to give closure and finality to a college experience, I would say it's worth doing. But next time I'll be ready for the sun if it's outdoors. 

Fantasize on, 

Robert Yan