Polaroid (宝丽来, ポラロイド, 폴라로이드)

Nowadays anyone with a smartphone can take a picture of anything with their phone and have a digital copy instantly available to send to anyone on earth, a stunning technology that I wouldn't have imagined just 30 years ago when I was 8 years ago. There was a whole process of taking pictures including having a camera that's not your phone, taking the film to a one-hour photo place, and then getting those photos back in an envelope. Before getting those photos back, (gasp for all the Generation Z and younger people) you didn't know how the picture looked! It was all a mystery, the film was inside the camera and you couldn't just open it up and look at it, they were negatives that had to be developed in a dark room. Photography was an art. I remember having something called a "one-time use camera" on my first international trip to China when I was 14 years old, I could only get 24 pictures total on the camera and if I ran out, that was it. Was that limiting? Yes, definitely, it cramped my style, but also it taught me how to ration and cherish the pictures I did take, almost like not overeating or budgeting my finances. It was a wild time, the 1990s and early 2000s when I came of age. Then there was something called Polaroid, which I didn't really use much but I knew was an instant camera that spit out the image "right away" (even back then "right away" was still 1 minute or so, unlike nowadays kids want everything "instantly." It was like dial-up internet variety of cameras: you took the picture, the camera spit out a small square, you shake it a little bit (shake it like a polaroid picture.... Outkast song "Hey Ya") and the picture just magically showed up. The first Polaroid was sold starting in 1948, invented by Edwin Land, a nice trivia fact. Nowadays despite the prevalent use of smartphones, it's encouraging to me that Polaroid cameras and photos still are in use; you can buy sleek design Polaroid cameras for $100 or so, and you have limited film. It's like being brought back to the 1990s for me, almost like going to libraries or visting Blockbuster video stores ( I REALLY miss Blockbuster/Hollywood video by the way, just the excitement of looking at all the selections that I could choose from, and finding that one perfect movie that I wanted to watch that weekend. (Nowdays I'm drowned by selection when browsing through Netflix, I imagine having trouble explaining to my 15-year-old self why having the whole universe of movies at my disposal wasn't necessarily a good thing). I like the feel of the Polaroid cameras, the responsibility needed to take a good picture, and that small noise of shutter closing to take the picture and the film sliding out. Some feelings just stay with you forever, like a home-cooked meal or smell of fresh baked cookies. MJ and I found it very refreshing to take pregnancy photos using Polaroid camera, and forgoing a professional photography shoot (this was a big step for MJ, she knows that I'm not into photography as much as her but will go along with it if needed, but she resisted the urge to splurge on someone just shooting her with a big belly). Some prospective parents do want to memorialize this time pre-pregnancy "because you might never have that big of a belly again), assuming of course you aren't having another baby, but also I think it's somewhat awkward to take photos because the mother has likely and justifiably...gained a few pounds. Might not be the best time to be taking photos, and if I had to choose between pre-pregancy photos without baby and post-pregancy photos WITH baby, of course baby photos win out. So Polaroid it was, and kind of symbolic of imes changing and the passing of an era, MJ and I turning from married people with no kids to parents for the rest of our lives, from the instant camera Polaroid age to the digital age. Hopefully our parent stage will go the way of cameras, the newer versions are more an upgrade, faster, and get more done, but once in a while we can look back at our Polaroid selves and reminisce about what we had back then.

Virtuoso (大师, 名手, 거장)

MJ and I went to see Itzhak Perlman recently, a living legend of the violin and one of the top classical musicians in the world. I'd compare him to Paul McCartney or Cher from the pop world, a multi-generational talent who needs no introduction, when Perlman's name is on the ticket event people don't read the rest of the program, it just sells out the venue (and that's saying a lot for classical music nowadays). Itzhak played his normal program, then came out to do 4 more pieces with explanations of each. He was the consummate musician, explaining the peices that he would do (his voice is still a nice steady baritone even at 80 years old) and threw in jokes about how Brahms should be named "Brahm" for composing the Hungarian Dances because there's only one dance. I also appreciated when Itzhak played violin pieces that I've played before in my high school days, with various fingering exercises, pizzicato, and those all-so-difficult harmonic notes that I never mastered how to get enough contact on the string to achieve the perfect high-pitch notes. Perlman pretty much showed us how the piece is REALLY supposed to be played, with emotion, and Perlman played the the theme from Schindler's List (the sad violin music that hits your soul) like he owns the song, to me that was the best piece of the night. I'm sure he's an inspiration to innumerable young musicians out there, but he's especially loved by my dad, who loved playing the violin and still plays it now even in retirement (I guess whatever you do in retirement is a good indication of your preferences, what you always wanted to do with your life but never got the chance to). I think my dad would have loved to be a violin virtuoso, someone who plays in front of huge audiences like Itzhak Perlman does, and my dad gave me a chance to do so, it's just too bad I didn't have the talent for it neither, and moreover didn't have the same passion for violin as he did. I like sitting in the back of the violin section covered up by much better players and contributing to the orchestra, pretending at the end of the night performing in front of the audience that they were clapping for me, but I never wanted to do solos in front of an audience, there were just too many places I could trip up playing violin, every note could be the one that scratches, or be off-tune, or be an upbow instead of the required downbow, my personality was just never to be violin virtuoso. However, that's not to say I don't love the applause and performing; I think everyone at some level would like performing in a big music hall or stadium or football field and having people watch and applaud. I got a little taste of that in dodgeball, and I realize now that's partly why I did it: I was good at it, and other people watched and applauded. It's a pretty simple concept and adrenaline high; I'm sure Itzhak Perlman is used to it by now, night after night of standing ovations, but for commoners like me who don't have any special talent, it's a special treat to stand in front of an audience and have people applaud. In the profession I've chosen, you don't get audiences with any applause, if you win a case or get a favorable statement you get an "attaboy" from the partner or some form of monetary compensation, followed by maybe promotions, but never do you get an audience of people watching and appreciating your work; it's not artwork. Even when you argue in front of a judge and you win the case, jury declares the verdict in favor of your client, judge slams the gavel down, no one in court is going to applaud your effort. That's just the profession I've chosen. Art is just a completely different animal, and I understand why so many people pursue their craft: it's risky because you don't know if what you have is going to be good and appreciated, but if and when it is appreciated the audience REALLY appreciates it. Music stars have the highest popularity ratings in the world. Being a parent is one of those jobs that.....does not get appreciated. No one gives parents a standing ovation for changing a diaper, no one asks for an encore for getting your baby to fall asleep, those are just understood as a parent, and that's the job we as parents sign up for: it's a forever job that isn't going to get that adrenaline of applause that people like me seek. It's a different feeling, and I hope I achieve it. But maybe one day, I'll be able to stand in front of an audience, look up at the rafters to all the people clapping, and know the applause is for me.

Boyhood (少年时代, 소년기)

No one has time to watch a 3-hour movie anymore, especially me who doesn't watch the movies, I mainly see the first 5 minutes of a movie, see who the main characters are, read through the credits (director, top 4 actors/actresses, NAME of the movie), general plot, and........move on. Take it from me, it's not the most enjoyable experience, it's like getting a hot bowl of ramen served to you but only getting to take one bite before it's wrested away from you, only I'm doing this willingly to myself because I know I won't be able to watch all the movies I ever want to watch why my life ends, but can learn about almost all of them, or at least the key ones that deserve my attention. And with comments like "Boyhood is one of the best movies you'll every see," or "my favorite movie of the 2010s," I gave it a shot. After all, I also had a boyhood, and it was mostly in the United States. Minor quibble: I wish the movie had spent more time of him as a boy! In my mind my "boyhood" was from like 5 years old (coming to America) to about 14 years old, and then high school is a whole another dimension of surviving in between boyhood and adulthood. The movie is great about showing Mason's life shuffling between living with his mom and some weekends with his dad, but then.......halfway through the movie he's already grown up! I don't consider those emo days of doing art and photography in high school boyhood necessarily, and his whole face had changed by then from the innocent angel of a boy to a hairy beard-wearing teenager. I root for boys growing up like "Stand By Me," by the time they're in high school I think most are stupid with lack of purpose... I was one myself! Otherwise I loved the movie and how it felt like a real person's life growing up, not some sensationalized "raised by wolves" or other Hollywood trope of something traumatic happening and a deep dark secret..... this movie was like Forest Gump living through the 2000's and seeing everything happening around Mason. I recognized so many of the things that Mason went through with video games, not understanding what the meaning of life was, why adults have so many flaws, having a mother that is doing her best amidst all the circumstances. Mason was a little bit too cool of a dude for me, though; I kept thinking when I was a boy how unfair everything was, how public schools are like these miniature animal kingdoms with social hierachies that certain students who have all the power dominate the ones lower on the pyramid, and the adults don't do anything to change that dynamic, so boys like me at the bottom of the hierarchy never had a chance to fix that, and could never break out. Well, once I turned into an adult I realized that social dynamics don't really end when you turn into an adult, but some part of me still is trapped in that boyhood time of awkwardness and not knowing how to act, but amplified by other kids who made the experience much worse. There was a little of that in Boyhood, but I don't know if Richard Linklater (director) wanted to depict Mason as the most even-keeled, calm kid ever, but he never raised his voice, fought back, or yelled or anything. There was a LOT of yelling and being frustrated at the world in Robert Yan's boyhood, and the movie of my boyhood would have some seriously cringey scenes of me breaking down crying or throwing fits or saying something really regretable at school. I hope our baby has a great girlhood! ( I looked it up, there IS a female equivalent of boyhood). There won't be a sequel because the actresse who played Mason's sister already grew up (Lorelei Linklater, director's daughter), but a sequel with a different set of kids to look at Girlhood, or just trying to know how the Mason's sister navigated through that time as well focused on her, would be something I'd watch, if only to get the female perspective and to know what I'm in for!

Latin (拉丁, ラテン, 라틴어)

The word Latin itself comes from the region of Latium, somewhere in Italy near Rome. The language of Latin is one that gives me fits on Jeopardy clues, especially when they come up in a whole categories of clues (that's 5 clues in language that I don't know how to speak!) and the double-whammy, in a category that I'm supposed to know a thing or two about, "Legal lingo in Latin." I was able to nail down "ipso facto" from tort class, and "pro bono" (volunteer work for lawyers that I don't do nearly enough of), but just couldn't pull the easiest clue on the board, defendants who were tried although not physically present, as "in absentia." And then the scary $2000 clue was actually pretty scary, a vague clue about legal opinions given "by the court" that doesn't show who dissented from the majority opinion, "per curiam." Latin was generally derided in high school as a "dead language," but somehow to get better at the SAT (of course my parents made me go to summer school to get better at the SAT!) I enrolled in a summer school Latin class all about learning the Latin roots and what they stand for. I remember I really liked the class! I memorized all of the roots that we were assigned to that week of Latin class! But then after taking the test and getting through summer school, just never thought about Latin ever again. Ironically, that Latin teacher was also the guy who ran the Scholastic Bowl (a high school version of trivia league) which I would have really enjoyed in high school, but I just never got into it, choosing to spend my time with Chess and Orchestra, one of the crossroads of my life that could have led my life in a direction. Little did I know how big a role Latin would play a role in later life, and really in everyone's lives: Latin is just everywhere in the English language. As I write this, the root "scrib" means to write, and scrib comes up in "scripture," "scribe" for someone who writes, and "script" for a movie script. I think about when we were prompted to select a foreign language to take in high school, it was generally French or Spanish, and then a few brave souls took German or something else (no Asian languages were offered back then, which is good because at least I took French and learned a thing or two about Romance languages), Latin had the best advertising because all it would have to do to persuade kids to learn would be show how many words have Latin roots in any sentence. Especially science (medicine, body parts) or law (legal terms love old dead Latin words), two of the "model careers" people would have loved getting into back then. And maybe adults did advocate for studying Latin in this way, I just ignored it. I'm paying attention now; plenty of Jeopardy champions have had great success with a Latin background, notably Amy Schneider. Clues this year that are purely Latin: "in vino veritas," the word in Latin for "a bad condition" is malady, pomegranate is "an apple with many seeds" in Latin, "succulent" is Latin for Juice, in media res means starting a story from the beginning. Alas, there is no going back to high school and learning Latin (iacta alea est, the die is already cast). But there's still time to learn some of it now!

Diapers (尿布, おむつ, 기저귀)

This post is probably premature, a couple months before I REALLY have to deal with diapers, but just wanted to give my best impression of what changing diapers are like before I fully get into them soon. Up until now it's been a vague concept of "oh sure, that's just something you do when the baby comes," like maybe one day having to climb a large mountain or go skydiving, not something I have to worry about in the moment but a tremendous challenge if and when it comes. Having never owned a pet and had to clean up after a dog, it's a bit of a leap to have to care for another living being and be responsible every single time they pee and/or poop, so it's going to take some getting into. I'm not necessarily turned off by the smell of poop, so there's that, I smell farts all the time without gagging or losing my composure, so I don't think I'll be disgusted or anything by the constant smell of poop, it's just the fear of messing up the diaper and getting poop everywhere and making a mess everywhere. I distinctly remember a time when I was really little (like 2 or 3, a very small kid) remembering pooping in my pants on the way home from school and continuing to walk home after pooping my pants until my babysitter finally found it. This was probably one of my first memories...hopefully baby doesn't have too many of these episodes! MJ and I just built a diaper changing station from the DIY box we bought from IKEA.... success! I don't like assembling furniture and in fact caved and paid someone else to assemble some drawers earlier this year, but simple screws and wood plugs are A-OK for Bobby! There's definitely a sense of accomplishment after assembling something like, "Hey I did it, what was once a pile of wood and screws is now an actual piece of furniture that we will be using to change the baby's diaper. I didn't even know these stations exited! I always thought baby changing stations were the ones installed into public bathrooms at the airport, which MJ is loathe to use because they're...public restrooms. I still have a lot to learn about baby wipes, getting the new diaper ready before taking off the old diaper, diaper disposal. Being a parent, as I'm finding out, really is a whole new world. A whole new world must be what New York City finds itself in, as the mayorial elections today yielded a new mayor set to take over: Zoran Mamdani after Eric Adams departs at the end of the year, 34 year old Progressive candidate who seemingly came out of nowhere through social media and running on setting rent controlled housing, free childcare, basically a more affordable New York City. Sounds like a great plan but also a tough task, not sure anyone, much less a newcome to politics and government, can make New York City affordable. I live there in NYC......the whole place is like Vegas, designed for you to spend a lot of money, and a lot of it. It's got some of the best amenities on Earth and great restaurants, theater, all the amenities of one of the most modern cities on Earth, but to be near all of that it really takes a toll on your wallet, and if you can't afford it, you don't have to live there. It's the epitome of capitalism: business have to make money, they charge a lot, there's tons of demand from people who want to live in New York, so prices go up. Not sure how the economics of that can change, but should be interesting seeing Mamdani try. For now I'm content with staying away for awhile, I appreciate the gesture of trying to get free childcare but New York City is not the best city for children and parents, at least to live (MJ wants to go to art museums with the baby eventually, which is a great idea once baby learns how to read, understand what she's seeing, and not.......poop into a diaper all the time).

stroller (婴儿车, ベビーカー, 유모차)

One of the downsides of having a child (fortunately for our baby, outweighed by the upsides) is having to make all the buying decisions for another person who has no way of expressing their likes and dislikes but has an immense amount of needs at the early stages of life. Combine that with someone like me who doesn't like having to make purchasing decisions, and it's a bad combination of reluctance, apathy, and "why is this thing that looks and feels exactly like the other $200 more expensive?" It's true, I've never been one to shop around, haggle, try to get the latest technology like the new brand of iPhone, etc., I've just gotten whatever is the most popular or will get the job done. Like buying a Honda Accord 2013- it runs fine, it has large trunk space, it seats 5 people. 'Nuff said, and almost 170,000 miles later, I'm still enjoying its "tank-like" longevity, as the car shop I took it to for aligning the wheels told me the other day. Today, the first day of November, MJ and I went to go shop for something I've never shopped for before: stroller and a corresponding carseat. Apparently, they can come in a package as a "travel system" because carseats can fit on top of a stroller. We went to a warehouse to shop around with all of the strollers and personally get a feel for all of them, with the sales associate comparing the strollers to buying a car, with terms like "all-wheel drive" and "handling.' My approach is probably different than MJ's: I ask what will get the job done most efficiently with the least amount of hassle and highest likelihood of longevity. MJ's priority (and I'm not saying it's wrong)....is different. She does more research, looks into what others have said about the product, looks at Youtube videos of how other people evaluate the product, what the latest trends are.....when for me, it's like, it's just a baby car to drive the baby around. If it has 4 wheels and a seat, we can make it work. (At least we don't need to get oil changes and tire alignments for the stroller!) I get that this is just the start of a lot of decisions we have to make on behalf of the baby: where the baby sleeps, what clothes the baby wears, starting with the most basic step: The baby's name! The weight of responsibility is just now starting to creep in: not only do I have to supply money for the child (I'm doing OK on that front), I have to make decisions on what to do with that money to make the baby happy, not knowing any of her preferences or what she wants, just making educated decisions on what's best for her. This is a little daunting but the upside is the baby will not give mixed messages like certain adults might about wanting one thing but actually wanting a more expensive model, the baby will not know about the price tag (for now) and will just vote through her crying and/or laughing (hopefully more laughing or grunts of joy). Or maybe she will be a very low-maintenance baby like her dear old dad Bobby. (Please be like that, please, it's not easy being a non-picky person trying to satisfy a picky person! So much easier the other way around). I guess the thing with buying products is, it doesn't EXCITE me. I know it does for some, that's why they like doing it. I buy things to fulfill a need, to get it over with, because I am compelled by the government (health insurance), etc. I didn't even feel excitement buying my first car! It was just, "OK fine now I have the ability to drive myself to work." I can't even pick out a movie to watch on Netflix, I don't really get excited by anything anymore. I don't get excited going on Amazon prime and seeing 1000 choices of what to buy for a baby seat or a diaper changing station, for example, I would actually just prefer ONE (two, tops maybe) so I don't have to choose. Choosing doesn't excite me; buying something I need and checking it off my to-do list excites me. That's the illusion of choice being a good thing: sometimes we drown in choices, especially when we only need one of something (some people online are saying you need 2 strollers, one to travel with and one to wheel to the park. Some people even say to get 4 strollers over the life of the baby!) Sounds like the same people peddling Christmas gift-giving and Valentine candies to me: a pyramid scheme.

Fetal Heart Rate (胎心率, 胎児心拍数, 태아 심박수)

MJ and I have gone together to regular checkups during this pregnancy process, and I've always been impressed by how real it is to monitor the baby's heart rate, and how fast the baby's heart can beat, anywhere from 110 to 160 beats per minute is healthy. Our as yet unborn baby has stayed right within the 150 bpm, which is right around normal. I'm a pretty callous person all things considered, I don't give hugs, I don't gush emotionally about happy moments or cry tears of happiness at the end of Sleepless in Seattle when Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan finally meet at the top of the Empire State Building, but even I can feel something when the stethoscope (or whatever they call it to put on mom's belly to monitor baby's heartbeat) detects a steady heartbeat. It's the first proof of life in a child after the weird ultrasound at 6 weeks showing a tiny something in the uterus, and the heart beat just makes everything feel real, that the baby is coming and the clock has started on when we get to meet her. I will also miss putting my hand on MJ's belly feeling for baby's kicks and movement; it began with very subtle little ripples on my hand, to now I can guess where the baby's head and foot are based on how hard certain areas of MJ's belly feel. It's kind of like in science class at a young age and knowing a chick might hatch out of one of those eggs any day (or kind like the Jurassica park scene of a dinosaur breaking through the huge dino egg shell) where you know something's inside and just incubating until the day they're ready to come out. Maybe this is how Daenyrus Targaryen felt in the first season of Game of Thrones carrying around her dragon eggs, knowing the potential of how powerful they can be. MJ and I just missed having a dragon baby in the year of the dragon but are having a snake (baby dragon) baby! They say babies grow up really fast, but I'm already feeling that the pregnancy is going by so fast! This is the one and only time the baby will be attached to MJ (it's easier for me to say not having to carry her around) but even this time of nausea, tightness, and feeling heavy all the time for MJ may seem like a pleasant memory and "the good ol' days" later on, especially when baby starts to cry. I always wonder, is baby not crying in the womb? Is baby feeling anything, is the brain already starting to pick up on language and voices? I guess they feel pretty comfortable in the womb, otherwise they wouldn't be crying so much when they get forcibly pulled out of there when they're ready to join the world. I did notice them before, but the imminent arrival of our baby is making me focus much more on other people's babies: I see them in strollers outside, being walked around at Costco, even at a football game! I saw a newborn that must have been tops 2-3 weeks old at the Illinois- USC football game recently. Guess some mothers really want their children to attend their first football game early and often! I notice some mothers carrying them facing forward, some facing backward, and most of the kids look.....peaceful. Cherubic. Angelic. Healthy. I also have a couple who had their child very early and spent 2 months in the NICU, but turned out OK and recently went home! That would be anxiety-inducing for me; so far I haven't yet started to feel the burden of all parents worrying about their children every minute of the day for the rest of their lives, partly because baby is resting safely and soundly in MJ's womb, but I'm sure that will start very soon. But it's a good anxiety; I hope to be anxious about baby for a very very long time, not just their fetal heart rate but their real heart rate, their growth pattern, their first steps, their first words, their first football game (not for awhile). This is real; it's happening, and I'm very happy to be there for her, unlike Khal Drogo who died prematurely and left Daneyrus Targaryen to be a single mother of dragons. I'll be there.