Weight Gain (体重增加, 体重増加, 체중 증가)

On the night of my high school's 20th reunion (didn't go after the 10-year reunion was underwhelming), a new source of stress has reared its ugly head, something I hadn't had to worry about since high school: weight gain, especially unexpected weight gain. Working out the same amount (in fact, my health tracker says I moved 300% more than my target, doesn't happen every day), eating roughly the same amount, but.....weight is persistently high. For the last 20 years or so, ever since I started a daily routine of doing about 5 miles of cardio at least a day, I've been able to keep a steady weight, and even if I let myself go and got a little overboard (maybe 10 pounds over), I was able to gradually whittle that down without anyone dramatic changes). Not this time; this time I'm dreading getting on the scale for fear it will tell me some bad news; whereas usually I get on as a form of routine just to check myself like checking the weather or checking the stock market, recently checking the scale has been painful, a daily reminder that I'm not where I'm supposed to be. I can see why people struggle with weight issues or self-image issues; it's not necessarily that I can tell I've put on 7-10 extra pounds, it's that sinking feeling that I'm at my upper limit now without any room to spare, and I need to watch myself; getting any heavier is not acceptable. Except I'm not sure what's causing this most recently episode of weight gain, with the main culprit maybe something we all dread: aging. Perhaps my body just doesn't have the same metabolism anymore. It's not breaking down the same amount of food as fast anymore so more of it is staying on my body. Which means: I have to eat less. I have to curb myself so I don't overeat, and watch it with the high-sodium, high-calorie, high-fat foods. Aka everything tasty in life. I've never been THIS heavy before, hopefully my knees are doing ok, the rest of my body isn't breaking down and buckling under all that weight? I'm now worried about life after baby (not just the lack of sleep, the constant attention you have to give) but also not being able to run outside for too long to burn off all the calories. I might have to prevent weight gain by (gasp) watching what I eat, which has never been my forte for controlling weight gain. Ideally I would go into parenthood at the lower threshold for weight; have a couple months to work on that! Or maybe the cause was the saline that they pumped in me for my platelet donation today, or waking up early in the morning not allowing my body to fully burn off pounds at night. It was a Snoop/Peanuts cartoon T-shirt giveaway today, a blatant marketing gimmick to get more people to donate blood, and of course when I showed up at the site...only XL and XXL t-shirts left. I've always wondered why large corporations giving out giveaways don't make more Medium and Larget T-shirts....why are there always XL's left? I used to go to L.A. Clippers games and they'd give out all XL shirts. Not everyone is XL! In fact, most people are not XL! Only people like my mom encouraged me to wear XL's as a kid because "maybe it'll shrink in the laundry" or "it's more comfortable and it won't be too tight." I've since come to realize, even with my limited fashion sense, that wearing baggy clothing isn't aesthetically pleasing for most, and MJ has pretty much rid me of the nation of going outside wearing something too big. Maybe it's too much to ask for when you're getting a free shirt, but the giveaway only has value (and acts as another incentive for people to come give blood) if the shirt can be worn. Oh yea, and this means I've now lived more years after high school than before high school. They say that life begins after high school.......I guess I'm 20 years old now! I hesitate to go to high school reunions because even if people are cordial and nice now, I feel like they'll always remember in the back of their mind their image of Robert Yan during high school, which was not a version that I'd like people to remember, the awkwardness, the lack of social awareness due to not having parents or older siblings telling me how to behave in American society. I was such a babe in the woods ripe for reputation slaughter. I wish I could get another chance at doing high school over again, but going to the high school reunion is not going to resuscitate my image or allow me to relive those years. And I had weight gain in high school.